Party Alone

[Version2026]

Recently single again after separating with a view to divorcing next year. Family house sold both in places and co-parenting working as well as it can. End of the marriage however horrendous as they were having an affair - im in counselling and trying to work through a lot of things. Anyway I now find myself with some free time and ive been invited to a birthday do in a few weeks - its not local and obvs i know the couple hosting but otherwise its either people I used to party with about 20 years ago when I was single with no kids or their friends who i dont know - feels like im walking into a room on my own for the first time in a very long time. Just cannot decide whether to go - either i go, don't really know anyone and attach myself to people (im a bit player and it would be weird if I started moving round the tables) or don't go as for a solo outing like this I'd rather be with a group of friends - not sure what i want to do

Hi , I am also recently separated and I do find it daunting too . It always feels like in my friendship group , that everyone else is in couples .

I have been to one such party when I only knew the hosts but I did recognise one other person from decades before . I am not saying become a raging alcoholic , but I did find a glass of wine took the edge off slightly for me .

I really had to force myself to go . I did have a relative roped in initially to go with me . But due to family circumstances , they had to pull out .is it possible you could take a friend with you ?

I quite enjoyed it when I was there and was glad I had gone .
I have another party to go to quite soon and again I am in the same position and dreading it . I do know when I am there , it won’t be as bad as I had anticipated . Even if it is , I can leave after a decent interval as it is quite local .

I used to be really shy when I was younger but then gradually I became more confident in my own skin . I do feel quite vulnerable and raw after a nasty split ( when there was infidelity on my exes’s part ) . I am however trying to rebuild my social life , as I had let this slide whilst I was bringing up my kids . I am trying to be open to invitations . I don’t get a huge amount of them .

I think when we are married / with a long term partner we just took it for granted that there was someone to go with as a plus one .

If you can afford to , I would get something new to wear or wear something you already have from your wardrobe , that makes you feel good . Again funds permitting get your hair / nails done if that is your thing .

If it is something you think you may enjoy try and go for it , at least you will get the first of these events out of the way and hopefully will feel more confident the next time .

Equally if you just want to stay at home and watch a good box set - do that . One of the advantages of being on your own is that you can now please yourself . I wouldn’t hibernate completely long term , as it is good to go get out and socialise but do what feels right for you at your own pace

Good luck and I hope you have a brilliant time , if you do go .

Would you enjoy yourself? Does the idea of going make you excited and look forward to the day? Or fill you with dread?

Lots of parents don’t have childcare or family support that would allow them to attend a party with their partner. Dh and I have never gone to a friends birthday party together, for instance. Well, not in the past 12 years at least. Because no childcare. We would go on our own while the other stayed with the kids.

I can’t personally say I’d be jumping for joy at the idea of attending a party for a random person I used to party with like in my 20s though. I had loads of those sorts of friends and there is a reason we aren’t all still close now. It would be different if I’d get to see old friends there and catch up. It sounds like maybe you’re seeing this as an opportunity simply to go out now that you are single again, but it doesn’t sound hugely fun. If you have a childfree weekend, would you feel differently about arranging to meet up with actual close friends you’d enjoy seeing or take the chance for a night away on your own (somewhere you want to go, but not this party)?