Bedtimes.....8 and 10.

[Illbefinejustbloodyfine]

Dc share a large bedroom. No alternative. Dc10 needs less sleep, not due to age, but has always been like it. Wakes and leads out of bed. DC 8 wakes, rolls over, goes back to sleep.

Anyway, they're going into yr 4 and 6 this week and im wondering in what a suitable bedtime is. They do their reading in bed at bedtime.

Im a single parent and like a bit of child free time in the evening, I'd prefer them upstairs at 8 30 (as in ready for bed) but can play/read til 9/9 30? Does that sound similar to others?

They have friends who are up til all hours ....

On a school night , when my daughter was in year 4 she went up at 7, had a bath/ shower, did teeth and then read until 8pm then lights out. Up at 7am ish. Now going into year 6 she goes up at 8pm with lights out at 9. A bit later on non school nights and holidays.

I have 7yo twins and 10yo DD1.

BoyTwin, 7.15
GirlTwin, 7.40ish
DD1 8.10ish

So based on twin parenting strategies, I'd stagger bedtimes and skew earlier. We let DD1 read quietly or watch something calming but "grown up" on the iPlayer downstairs and take the younger ones up and settle them.

When I am managing the 3 on my own, I sometimes do DD1 downstairs and don't let her up till twins asleep or at least very drowsy, otherwise they just keep each other awake.

8pm lights out.

That’s very late my 14 year old should be in bed 9.30 on a school night and I’m in bed at 10/10.30. My 10 year old has lights out at 8.30. When they shared we staggered bedtime and the second one went to bed only once the first was asleep. At 8 bedtime was in bed at 7.30 lights out before 8.

8 pm. The early riser can just be quiet when they rise in the morning and not wake the sleepier one.

My 8 year old is usually about 8.30-9. He does activities that don’t finish until 8.15 and 8 on a couple of nights.

7 and 10 year old here, they’re nearly 8 and 11. Younger one lights out 8pm, older one lights out 9pm.

Mine that age are in bed 7.30pm, lights out 8. We get up at 7am every morning.

😬 how is everyone getting their children in bed so early?

My 7yo has been on 9pm for a few months now. She just doesn’t settle any earlier.

Sounds about right for the 10 year old but 9.30 a bit late for 8 year old.
My 10 year old (about to start year 6) is usually asleep by 9 on a school night.

Reading with interest. My 8 year old goes to
cubs, which is great but it finishes at 8.30pm 😣 - and it always runs 10 minutes late. So we get home at about 8.55, my son is invariably hungry and needs some down time, so bedtime is effectively 9.45.

I need to pull him out of cubs, don’t I? :-(

It's tough when extra curriculars come into play. Could he eat something in the car on the way home? Is this on a school night? Would some sort of 10 min wind down yoga routine have any effect?

why? You can see if they are exhausted, or if there are absolutely fine.

MIne don't wake up until 7:30 in the morning, they go to bed around 8pm and read until 9:30-10pm depending on how tired they are.

I’m astonished at all those putting their 10yr olds to bed at 7 & 8! That’s a bit too early. My 10yr old gets into bed at 9:30 and we read together then sleep at 10/10:30

I’m shocked so many go to bed so late! At age 5, bedtime is 7pm, then every year of age it goes up by 15 minutes, so age 6 is 7.15pm etc. We used to do bath, teeth, story etc 30 - 60 mins prior to bedtime, depending on various factors.

We’ve always run early - DS2 gets up at 5:45/6 usually but that’s no problem in our house. DS1 starting to sleep in longer and get up around 7 these days. Suits us as we’ve never ever had to rush for school and there’s time to play in the mornings!

To that end, DS2 aged 8 is in bed by 7:30 and asleep immediately usually.
DS1 aged 10 in bed by 8, reads for maybe an hour, comes down a lot as he has various anxieties! But don’t usually see him after 9.
We also have a 3 year old so it does seem like bedtime takes hours and hours!

I never ever stayed downstairs past say 9:30 even as a teen, I think I just assumed I still had a bedtime and had to go upstairs and my parents didn’t dare mess up a good deal for themselves 🤣

I pulled mine out of cubs for exactly the same reason. DC's cubs finished at 9pm and DC was exhausted for the remainder of the week after a late night. We enrolled into a different activity on the same weekday that finishes at 8pm. Even that is too late really and DC is now 11.

Where did you get the 15 minute increments from? You say it like its a rule everyone knows!

My 6 year old never sleeps until 9pm. Bathtime, story time etc. can start at 7pm but she still will never actually go to sleep until 9pm. So we don't waste 2 hours, instead start getting her ready at 8.15pm. Up at 7.30am.

This is on a Monday night… sets the tone for the whole week. :-(

Part of the problem is that I’m a menopausal mum… I get tired myself, run out of steam to do bedtime properly!

Cubs is good for him and I’ve been trying to avoid coming to the same conclusion; but it’s a Monday night and it sets the tone for the week. He only moved up from Beavers in April, I’m sure the dark nights are going to exacerbate it.
I think I have to stop it. :-/

Sorry I didn’t phrase it well. It was from a parenting advice group. It worked for us for all 4 of mine. They were all early risers so needed a good early bedtime. Sleep is one of the most important things for children. But we’re all different and what works for one won’t work for another.

7:30/8:00 sounds crazy early to me. My 5 year old ds isn’t asleep by then and is fine during the day. My babies bedtime is around that and he’s awake early.

Ha, DD1 (6) is like her dad, low sleep needs! She only needs about 10 hours. If she was in bed at 7pm she’d be up at 5am! She goes to bed between 8 and 8:30 generally on school nights and gets up around 6:30-7. At weekends and holidays she’s allowed to play quietly or read/draw in her room till 9.

DD2 is only 3 and is usually in bed by 7:30.

@moppety is 10 hours low sleep needs? I don't think any of my kids slept that long from being about a year old. I'm not a morning person so 5am starts would finish me and I can't be doing with complicated bed time stuff so they go to bed when they are tired enough or I go up which is far later than most people their age. My youngest is waiting for assessment from CAMHS to be fair and he could easily pull all nighters if you let him.