Do you feel any nostalgia?

[Dappy777]

A few weeks ago, I went to a barbeque at which everyone had too much to drink. The group I sat with had known one another in their teens (they're now in their 50s) and grew quite nostalgic about their youth. Two of them had met at university and were reminiscing about the fun they had – the excitement of being away from home, getting drunk, going to parties and festivals, staying up all night talking about 'the meaning of life', etc. One of them actually wiped a tear away (she was pretty drunk).

Nostalgia is something I have never experienced. I don't say that with any bitterness. In many ways I have been lucky in life – I had loving parents, never experienced any abuse, etc – but I was such an unhappy teen. I was crippled with social anxiety and low self-esteem. I didn't go away to university but did a degree at the local university (where I barely spoke to anyone for three years). I've often wondered how common that kind of nostalgia is. Do most people yearn to go back to their teens and 20s? Do most people have lots of fun? Do you feel nostalgic about your youth (I mean roughly 13-25)? I hated my life from around 10 to my late 30s. Since then I have grown happier and happier. When I think back to my teens, it's just a blur of misery, bullying, fear and shame. And my 20s were even worse.

Are you me? Totally the same here. Lived with Mum while doing a degree and had one friend.

Not at all!
Bizarrely even in my 60s I still think the best is yet to come.
I struggle with memories full stop though. I have no memories at all of my primary school

It really wish people wouldn't be rude about other people's lives & memories & call it 'nonsense '

Oh god yes! I have huge nostalgia about London. I miss when it was so much less crowded and so much more characterful. I’d give anything to go back in time!

sorry @Ihad2Strokes I didn't mean to be rude and can quite see why you would be nostalgic.

Its more the mawkish stuff you see on Facebook about the 'good old days'. I remember the 70's and lots of it was not very good at all

My teens and early 20s were full of racist homophobic wankers, three day weeks, strikes, and general gloom. Then fucking Thatcher got elected and made it clear how much she despised communities like mine.

So no, I don’t do nostalgia.

I do recognise that in amongst all that, I had some great times. But I had great times in my 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s too, and I expect to have some in my 70s and longer if I don’t die.

I do have this when I hear certain songs etc but mainly because I wish I could go back and do it all differently!

But why trust one person's memory as accurate more than another's?

It's perfectly possible for one person to have had a bad time at school, and for other people to perceive them as having been cool and popular -- the two things aren't incompatible. The majority of people who go to school reunions will be those with rosier memories, anyway, so it's probably more unusual for someone who had a miserable time to attend one.

I'd be equally interested in why your grandfather was so quick to disclaim to a child that this woman's memories of a shared past were false. Isn't it also possible that he disliked her and wanted to puncture any idea that they'd once been close, regardless of the truth?

In relation to your original post, I had a wonderful time at university (and I did three postgraduate degrees in two countries, so my student days encompassed most of my 20s), and absolutely, it's fun to reminisce in our 50s with good friends I first met then, but I don't think any one of us would timetravel back, given the opportunity. Life is also interesting and rich now, if not always easy.

I think that's what triggered it for a lot of people. I listen to Absolute radio and they've been doing their BritPop summer.

Then I heard Sonique on the radio earlier which took me right back to 1999, a sunny summer Friday evening, sat on the station platform waiting for the train after work. Absolutely no cares in the world.

That’s what I was thinking. Maybe the OP’s grandfather who is misremembering, not the woman?

For my childhood and for my children’s childhoods, yes. Not for the teen years, although I had a blast- too much chaos and stress.

Sorry I know this is an oldish thread but just had to reply to this comment: I have a Spotify playlist called ‘born in the wrong decade’ which is all 60s/70s (although technically it’s not quite right as I was actually born right at the end of the 70s but I’m sure you’ll allow me some poetic licence 😁).
Regarding the general point of the OP, I certainly have a very strong streak of nostalgia, it’s almost like a yearning, both in terms of times I did actually live through but also for times I didn’t. One of my very favourite pastimes (I know, call me weird!) is looking through old photos (I have quite a collection of books and have also found some wonderful websites), some going right back to late 19th century/earlier even. I spend ages looking at the faces and people (I even have a magnifying glass for the purpose!) and trying to imagine their lives/what they were thinking/what their hopes were, etc. I absolutely love it. I yearn for times I never lived and even from cultures I have zero direct connection to.
I think I read somewhere that there’s a specific word (maybe in Japanese?) for this feeling: a kind of yearning/longing for times past, even those which you did not live through.

Yes I do especially from 1980. I was at college, going to a different party every week. Loads of great music and new groups very different from the 1970s era. Madonna, Adam and the Ants, Cuture Club, Madness, Spandau Ballet, Human League to name a few. I was living at home, no worries, had my first serious boyfriend and look back on those times with such fond happy memories.