Burnout recovery tips

[Burntatbothends]

Hello! I am struggling with feeling totally and utterly burnt out. Every day I wake up and just want the world to go away and I have been dragging myself to my desk for well over a year now. I'm doing everything poorly, im a poor mum, poor worker and poor wife as I just have nothing to give. I'm taking a chunk of time off work to try and get myself together, and would really like some tips so that I use the time well and don't just end up in exactly the same position afterwards.
I have thought about changing jobs, but honestly im too burnt out to sell myself or see a path to something different right now. I'm also waiting for an adhd assessment and for some perimenopause investigation, and I have a 3 year old, it's a perfect storm!
Any suggestions gratefully received!

Bumping.

I know it's corny but ....how about getting away for a bit . Nothing too far away , just a beach or a forest. Day trips , anything to reset your mind. Or a yoga class?

I would just say allow it to take longer than you think. Don't rush it. I'm no doctor but I would rather see you watch a box set for a week than set yourself an ambitious timetable of "to do"s.

Keep your little one in nursery all their usual days. Get as much sleep as you can.

Have you spoken to your doctor to get time off or are you doing it as annual leave? If the latter I would recommend you involve your doctor and get signed off. It's not selfish - you are much better value to your employer when you are fully functional.

Are you able to reduce your hours?
is your house tidy enough?
The things I would prioritise is firstly make sure things are organised at home in terms of storage space and getting rid of junk. It’ll help to keep on top of things more easily.
Get out in nature. Go for walks. Sit. Have a coffee/tea and good. Nature is very restorative and can help you regulate your emotions.
Get yourself some omega 3 fatty acids. They can help with adhd symptoms.
Get yourself a blood test and just check your overall health.
Find time to just rest without scrolling your phone. Music, baths, films, books, podcasts can all help.
Meet up with friends.

I am in the same boat and have taken a few weeks off work also. My plan is to rest and recover much as possible. I hope to get out for walks every day even if it’s just 10 mins. I have started doing some somatic exercises I have found online too. I’m slightly scared because I cannot afford not to work and fear that when I return I will just get completely overwhelmed again. I am in perimenopause and have an appt in the next few weeks for an ADHD assessment also. Through in some childhood trauma and as you said it’s just a perfect storm.

Are you me? I am also scared I'll go back and it will be just the same and some trauma mixed in with all the rest. I hope the time off helps you!

@Blissker I am doing it as unpaid leave and annual leave combined. I was signed off for 2 weeks last year but I worry about people thinking im taking the mickey, so I haven't gone that route this time.

My house could definitely be tidier and thats one thing id like to sort whilst im off. We have a cleaner but that doesn't do anything for the clutter.
I'm having a bunch of blood tests in the first two weeks im off, really hoping there is an answer in there.
I can't really cut my hours unfortunately, I already only work 80% but I have my child the day im off. I'm the main earner as well by a considerable margin, so all the pressure is on me.

How are you doing now OP?

Hi Breton, my time off is now over and im back to work next week. I feel better but not sure how long that will last once im back at work. The time went too quickly and I didn't really get much of what I planned done at all. Im totally ready for retirement lol!

Burntatbothends. I returned to work three weeks ago and am coping just about. Same as yourself I really did not get what I needed out of my time off. In hindsight I can see that I put so much pressure on myself to be better after the sick leave but it just was not realistic in that time frame. I feel stuck however because I cannot afford to not work. Life also keeps piling on the crap and I am having days where I feel I am barely holding on. Its just so hard at the moment but I keep telling myself this too shall pass…..

I can definitely relate to it not being long enough, no matter how ridiculous that would have sounded at the start. It just takes a long time for your nervous system to calm down and recover.

GP if you need to, if it's too hard going back. You have done everything you can in trying to handle it by yourself.

@googleyourheartout I am similar, im the main earner, so I can't not work, although thats really what I think I need for a good long time if not forever. Im sorry that your time off wasn't long enough either. I've already created my countdown till Christmas time off, that sort of thing keeps me going but is it any way to live constantly counting down to the next break from work?

Thank you @Blissker, I'll see how I go, im hoping I'll be alright for at least a few weeks. I just got an ADHD diagnosis this week and although thats just one step on a journey to trying medication it gives me hope that there might be something to help on the horizon.

Im endlessly planning my retirement, but im not mid 40's yet!

Hey op, I suffered burn out pretty badly last year. I had 2 months signed off work and didn't really do much with the time other than therapy and rest. But my biggest step to recovery has been baby steps. Listening to my body, not overdoing it, dialing everything back.

And the reason Ive come as far as I have is due to having the most incredibly supportive and understanding manager. If your safe with you manager I would be honest. She has allowed me to just chug along whilst I recover, something I'm very grateful for.

Most people need at least three months to recover from burnout. And you would need to return to work with greatly improved boundaries.

It just sounds like you aren’t quite ready to accept it, but I wish you well. 💐

How do you feel about your ADHD diagnosis @Burntatbothends ? I've come to the decision I need to speak to my GP about an assessment. It would explain a lot, like internal hyperactivity leading to fatigue, task initiation paralysis (particularly when it comes to housework). My head is always full of noise, music, ideas, conversations, planning etc and it's exhausting. I'm 44 and perimenospausal and been researching what happens when the two collide (and I don't have a 3yr old to run around after).

I hope you're taking it easy and being kind to yourself. Like others have said, it'll be a long while yet until you're properly recovered from burnout. Sending you strength.

@BretonStripe I am happy about the diagnosis. It was first mentioned to me that I might have a touch of adhd about 10years ago and at the time I was really upset as all I associated it with was hyperactive little boys. Times have changed and I've come to see that its me all over, especially since Peri and parenthood, im now frustrated that the GP has been treating me for depression and anxiety for well over a decade and thats probably not been the right course of action. Im perhaps unrealistically hopeful for what medication might do for me. Im taking today relatively easy, although I did just have a job interview, so maybe a change in job would help as well.

Thank you all for all your kindness, in the real world I dont have anyone that really gets it.

@Burntatbothends oh, good luck re: the job! Is it the same amount of hours as before? When will you find out? Just re-read your post from last month where you say you work 80% and are the main earner in your household.

Yep, I've been called "a bit ADHD" in jest for years, too. Teachers always said in my school reports I talk too much in class when I should be concentrating. I've been going to the GP every year for about seven years asking for blood tests to try and explain why I'm fatigued a lot of the time when I take allll the decent supplements, eat healthily, have cut right back on alcohol this past year etc. I've tried antidepressants for low mood but didn't get on with them as felt too numb and checked out. Was on sleeping tablets on/off for years for insomnia (couldn't get to sleep as my brain was too active).

I am a bit anaemic, but know now that my brain being hyperactive could explain my crash-and-burn cycle. I've also noticed I'm physically frenetic just before my period these days, and can't seem to burn it off enough with exercise. Then my body is knackered but brain still buzzing.

I have only worked part-time since having the children (youngest has just started secondary) and I honestly think this has helped me not have a proper burnout/breakdown. I can't imagine working f/t in a stressful job with all the other demands us mums have, and know I'm very very lucky.

I hope the meds help you out. Do you speak to a counsellor or therapist at all? I see one fortnightly for CBT and it helps massively (as does weekly yoga).

Here if you ever want a chat or vent 💐

(Edited as re-read post regarding your working hours).

@BretonStripe it's actually more hours, its full time, but i think i could manage that if it was a better fit for me.
I've got a very similar history, lots of comments about concentration in school reports and constantly being tired as an adult.
I've had counselling on and off since 2012, I just finished a batch of counselling, the maximum number of sessions they offer. CBT does not work for me, its too much of a demand for me to cope with. I suspect I am quite demand avoidance generally, even if there are things I really want to do i hate the pressure of it being scheduled and if I have something in my diary it ruins my whole day.