Ds anxious to return to school because we didn’t go on holiday

[floweredBlue]

Last night ds was looking worried so i asked him what was wrong. He said he knows when he goes back to school the teacher will ask everyone about their summer holidays.

unfortunately, our holiday was cancelled and we were unable to re book anything. We did have nice days out but for some reason ds thinks only a holiday will be worth talking about.

I think he is anxious as I know previously the teachers have asked them to write down or speak about their summer. A lot of children in their class have been to glorious places this summer. We have had a nice time and It’s a shame that now ds is sad feeling like he has nothing worth talking about.

I personally don’t think teachers should do this anymore. Of course, if you have done something that you want to talk about, fine. Children who don’t want to share details of their summer shouldn’t be made to though.

@floweredBlue my youngest got very anxious about school once because (year 3) they were going to talk about pets in a French lesson, and we didn't have a pet! I completely get where you are coming from: new class, new year group and wanting to fit in.

Incidentally, I'm a teaching assistant and last year the teacher asked the class to write a postcard from their summer holiday destination. The teacher in question has multiple overseas holidays each year and just didn't think it through really. She was brought up short though, when one child said he'd managed to get home to Ukraine to see his dad.

This is your own insecurity talking.

We have years where we go abroad far away and years where we stay home and do nothing. And I mean nothing. Parents work, kids are home, they play with the neighbour kids. There aren't day trips and weekends away and fancy stuff. The best that happens is that they change who sleeps in which bedroom and have their friends say over too.

I don't see a difference in how much they enjoy each summer, and I haven't heard them talk about those scenario's particularly differently.

Ours answered “we went to Tesco” - I found this out 3 weeks later at parent’s chat. I replied we didn’t just take him to Tesco by the way

a different summer unexpected death of younger family member - I emailed school day before return saying.”if he says his holiday was full of death and sadness unfortunately it’s true but we are looking after him it’s nothing to be concerned about” teacher called back I explained what happened and just in case he had an out of character reaction - he never brought it up.

@floweredBlue you can’t change your summer holiday now but you can talk and hopefully change how you son feels and reacts to this question if asked - his friends will know his holiday has been cancelled and that’s life sometimes curveballs, yes some kids might tease him “you’re poor because you didn’t go away” might - but they are going be dicks regardless

But the days doing special things nearby are the best of all! Tell him anyone can go on a package tour to yet another swimming pool or roasting filthy beach, but to make magical trips out of all the things around us we take for granted shows much more spirit and appreciation.

We were driving to a ferry one summer when my son was about 6. We stopped at some quite grotty services on the M4 which happened to have a big grass embankment near the entrance.

Back at school my son wrote about the best thing he did all summer, which turned out to be 20 mins he spent running up and down this grass bank at said grotty services.

No mention of the trip away or any days out we might have done.

Sometimes the simple things are the best things.

Lots of kids don't go on holiday, teachers do generally ask then to talk about something they did in the holidays as an ice breaker. Doesn't need to be talking about a "holiday". Tell them about a day where they went crabbing or whatever they did.

Perhaps I’ve been a bit unsympathetic and it is just back to school nerves. I always say to my kids the teachers will be feeling nervous too, they have to get to know 28 new people, whereas at least you already know all your friends!

If you ask me, most of these bears are Billy Bullshitters! Ours certainly was. 😂

My dc did go on holiday and had lots of days out etc. if asked they’ll probably say they went to Asda to get picnic plates or something equally dull 🙄

Dc rarely listen to each other in these scenarios and teachers are guided not to ask - but some old school ones might. I think your holiday being cancelled will be making the difference between expectations and reality heightened for ds. Give him a response like “we did lots of days out and my favourite day was when we went to x”

My friend’s dc go to private school (she’s a teacher so it’s discounted heavily). Her dc will never be able to compete with private jet holidays of her peers. Important lesson in life, there’s always someone better than you - but that doesn’t mean happier.

You say that you had some nice days out, so tell your DS to write/say something along the lines of... during the holidays I had fun at the beach; we had pizza in the park; I played with my friends in the park; went to the cinema and watched... etc.

Yes, mine told the class he’d enjoyed going to Aldi during the holidays, while his classmates spoke about trips to France, Italy etc. (We had actually been away too, but the trip to Aldi was apparently the highlight 😂)

DS won the "class bear" competition.... we were out and about and managed to score a picture with the class bear, DS and a friendly copper! The bear wore the policeman's hat! .

OP - I think if this does come up, it's useful to remind Ds that this is simply about demonstrating writing skills and that the teacher will as interested in the interesting trip you took to the musuem as she will be in Billy's story about the food at the hotel in Spain!

There's also always much amusement at our school after the children have to do a writing exercise after a residential or trip. At least half will use most of their writing to talk about the delicious meal they had at pizza express or that the best part was when they were playing with Billy in the goatshed.... More important is whether they expressed themselves well! :)

I remember once writing I looked through the Argos catalogue

I truly felt it was a highlight of my summer.

I take my kids on plenty of days out and they have holidays.

But whenever they're asked they got up to they just say- I can't remember.