Handhold required- horrible day

[FatAmy123]

My youngest DS who’s 7 has severe ASD and ADHD, he’s behaviour and keeping him safe is absolutely breaking me. We’ve got safety gates and locks everywhere but he figures them out. I’ve got a tall gate on his bedroom door which he’s figured out how to open. This morning, he let himself out of the gate, went downstairs and climbed on a chair to enable him to unlock the front door and he left the house. He’s hyper fixated with cars and he wanted to look at some. Luckily I woke suddenly and could sense he wasn’t in his room. He was missing for 10 minutes but it felt like forever and I thought we’d lost him. He has no road safety skills or danger perception at all. My husband found him with no shoes on a good few roads away.
I feel physically sick and can’t stop crying. We’ve ordered extra locks, a chain and an alarm that sounds when the door opens.

My oldest DS is 19. He has type 1 diabetes and struggles with controlling it, although he’s a lot better than he was. 18 months ago he suffered such severe complications with it that he ended up in resus and we nearly lost him. Now he’s going to university in 3 weeks and I’m terrified. He’s got support in place for when he goes, and the university have been brilliant, but I’m still so scared.
After that incident this morning, my older DS had a really bad hypo and was really out of it.

Im so overwhelmed and upset. I just want them both to be safe.

@Emmafuller79 as @TheLivelyVipersaid my son doesn’t understand that he is more fortunate than some other children, the way a 2 year old wouldn’t understand. He’s been in a special needs school since nursery and he wasn’t even verbal at all till 2 years ago. His class has only around 10 pupils and 4 staff. They are an amazing provision and he gets lots of support. I have 4 children, but I can 100% say I would still be exhausted if he was my only one. He has to be watched constantly, he does not understand danger or the consequences of his sctions. Having to deal with 24/7 is exhausting, you never truly relax. He’s still in pull ups as he has no awareness he needs the toilet yet (we’re working on it) and he cannot emotionally regulate, deal with change and needs routine.

@TheLivelyViper
Thank you ☺️ he is at an SEN school, he’s there till he’s 18 and they are fab so we are supported from them. He has play therapy when he was younger and he still has forms of it at school. He also has more sensory therapy at school this year too and it all helps ☺️

@FatAmy123 I've had the misfortune of coming across Emma Fuller on another post, I strongly suspect she has things going on in her own life so don't be surprised if she doesn't comprehend your situation and becomes increasingly nasty/rude when you don't do exactly as she says because she always knows best and no other advice is worth taking. She bullied the other poster off their own thread so whilst I hope this post is unnecessary I'd rather you had a heads up when you are already dealing with a difficult and draining situation x

Thank you @Mumof2amazingasdkiddos- I’m still marvelling at the statement that people with one child shouldn’t be exhausted!! Even though it doesn't apply to me, it’s still absolutely wild!

Did you miss the OP’s DS has ASD and ADHD? Or just ignore it?

Of course someone can be exhausted from parenting a child with SEN. Having a house and garden doesn’t change that. Being ‘rich’ or perceived by others to be ‘richer’ than them doesn’t stop your child being disabled. It doesn’t magically make the child’s understanding improve. OP’s DS isn’t disabled because of a lack of boundaries or consequences. He is disabled because of ASD and ADHD.

Although she has also posted she has more DC.

The Op says her son is severely autistic, I don't know what his cognitive ability is like but my own severely autistic son wouldn't understand there are kids worse off then him as at 15 he has the understanding of a 2/3 year old