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How to help dd get emotionally over acne

25 replies

PinkChaires · 31/08/2025 01:59

i will preface that DD most likely has OCD. Is in the early stages of CBT
dd17 has had low level acne since starting puberty, but when she was in y11 for about 6-8 months ish it got quite bad due to unknown pcos/ weight gain/ bad eating due to many personal hard things going on. She then got diagnosed with pcos, lost weight and cleared her skin via supplements. But now she keeps on ruminating on her previous bad skin, how ugly she must have looked, how she must have been delusional in thinking shes pretty. ( all her own words.)
tbh, this is very in line with my own OCD, and cbt didnt help really, i only got relief when i had antidepressants. This type of thinking has been going on for years, but shes only been able to get the top of the waiting list for cbt now. Would the gp prescribe antidepressants at 18? Or is that only after shes exhausted cbt?

OP posts:
SpiritAdder · 31/08/2025 04:29

I would apologize to her for not taking her to a dermatologist.

In this day and age there is absolutely no reason for a teen to suffer acne from puberty to adulthood.

It is disheartening to read you repeating myths that have no medical basis like she had acne due to “weight gain” or “poor eating”. You must have said this to her then, blaming her for her acne and setting her up to fail.

She never cleared her skin with “supplements”, she finished puberty,

She probably thinks it was all within her control and her fault she had acne, Maybe she is afraid even now that if she slips into gaining weight or eating poorly or stopping whatever scam supplements you have her on that the acne will come back.

Apologizing for telling her the acne was her fault and for not taking her to a dermatologist would be a good start.

Editing to add your daughter is not you. Don’t be asking the GP to give her antidepressants before she has even been assessed by a professional.

GardenGlee · 31/08/2025 05:17

I doubt she will be prescribed antidepressants as an under 18 without a course of CBT. Are CAMHs treating her? Hope she feels better soon.

PinkChaires · 31/08/2025 10:20

SpiritAdder · 31/08/2025 04:29

I would apologize to her for not taking her to a dermatologist.

In this day and age there is absolutely no reason for a teen to suffer acne from puberty to adulthood.

It is disheartening to read you repeating myths that have no medical basis like she had acne due to “weight gain” or “poor eating”. You must have said this to her then, blaming her for her acne and setting her up to fail.

She never cleared her skin with “supplements”, she finished puberty,

She probably thinks it was all within her control and her fault she had acne, Maybe she is afraid even now that if she slips into gaining weight or eating poorly or stopping whatever scam supplements you have her on that the acne will come back.

Apologizing for telling her the acne was her fault and for not taking her to a dermatologist would be a good start.

Editing to add your daughter is not you. Don’t be asking the GP to give her antidepressants before she has even been assessed by a professional.

Edited

She was taken to a derm, who offered roaccutane, but by the time the referral went through and was given an appointment the acne had mostly cleared, and we were apprehensive of the mental health side affects, since she was doing her gcses at the time and she already struggles

OP posts:

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PinkChaires · 31/08/2025 10:26

well, when she started taking the supplements and lost weight the acne did clear. Some acne is linked to poor diet, am not sure how much of it was supplements vs a better diet but both of these things did help with her hormonal acne. I most definitely have not been saying these things to her. I think the plan is to complete the round of cbt after which she will be 18 and then see if ADs are needed. Roaccutane isnt a magic drug, it has many side effects

OP posts:
ThatAgileCoralBird · 31/08/2025 10:36

The charity Changing Faces is very good, I would recommend having a look at them.
They give support accepting facial and body differences, including acne and also how to handle social and everyday situations. They have a lot of young people as ambassadors who give their stories on the Changing Faces Facebook page which can be reassuring and positive.

TaffetaRustle · 31/08/2025 10:39

@SpiritAdder

But aside from rocotane what can a dermatologist do ?

I've taken my DD to docs and been given antibiotics and the ones on her forehead went but she seemed to get side symptoms so stopped then it was a topical face cream .
She still has them around her lower cheeks and mouth.
As far as I am aware a derm can do no more than rocotane ?

ThatAgileCoralBird · 31/08/2025 10:40

Sorry i have just realised my previous post is probably not relevant to your situation.

Perhaps the Changing Faces stories would help get your daughter to be a bit more self aware and get things into perspective.

TaffetaRustle · 31/08/2025 10:40

@PinkChaires what supplements please

TaffetaRustle · 31/08/2025 10:42

@PinkChaires acne is definatly linked to pcos and weight gain

PinkChaires · 31/08/2025 11:10

ThatAgileCoralBird · 31/08/2025 10:40

Sorry i have just realised my previous post is probably not relevant to your situation.

Perhaps the Changing Faces stories would help get your daughter to be a bit more self aware and get things into perspective.

She still does struggle with acne albeit much milder than before so ill definitely have a lool

OP posts:
PinkChaires · 31/08/2025 11:10

TaffetaRustle · 31/08/2025 10:40

@PinkChaires what supplements please

The main one that we think really made a difference was inositol
she also takes spearmint and root burdock extract

OP posts:
TaffetaRustle · 31/08/2025 11:15

Thanks

SpiritAdder · 07/09/2025 21:03

PinkChaires · 31/08/2025 10:20

She was taken to a derm, who offered roaccutane, but by the time the referral went through and was given an appointment the acne had mostly cleared, and we were apprehensive of the mental health side affects, since she was doing her gcses at the time and she already struggles

Dermatologists always have more options than roaccutane.

I don’t agree choosing on her behalf to not treat the acne that was already causing her mental health distress because of a very tiny risk she might get a negative mental health side effect. You can always stop taking something if you get one of the side effects.

Antidepressants all have a tiny risk of suicide as a side effect, but you seem quite blasé about trying to get your DD on those.

SpiritAdder · 07/09/2025 21:04

TaffetaRustle · 31/08/2025 10:42

@PinkChaires acne is definatly linked to pcos and weight gain

Yes acne and weight gain are caused by PCOS. It’s not the weight gain that causes acne.

SpiritAdder · 07/09/2025 21:06

TaffetaRustle · 31/08/2025 10:39

@SpiritAdder

But aside from rocotane what can a dermatologist do ?

I've taken my DD to docs and been given antibiotics and the ones on her forehead went but she seemed to get side symptoms so stopped then it was a topical face cream .
She still has them around her lower cheeks and mouth.
As far as I am aware a derm can do no more than rocotane ?

Dermatologists have several options other than roaccutane.
There are many prescription medications,
There are also light therapies and hormonal therapies.

PinkChaires · 07/09/2025 21:11

SpiritAdder · 07/09/2025 21:03

Dermatologists always have more options than roaccutane.

I don’t agree choosing on her behalf to not treat the acne that was already causing her mental health distress because of a very tiny risk she might get a negative mental health side effect. You can always stop taking something if you get one of the side effects.

Antidepressants all have a tiny risk of suicide as a side effect, but you seem quite blasé about trying to get your DD on those.

Well we had already tried all the creams years ago, plus dd made the decision not me.

OP posts:
PinkChaires · 07/09/2025 21:12

Oh yeah she tried lymecyline (sp) as well. NHS dermatologists will not do the other stuff ime

OP posts:
TaffetaRustle · 07/09/2025 21:16

Are hormonal therapies the pill ??

SpiritAdder · 07/09/2025 21:23

TaffetaRustle · 07/09/2025 21:16

Are hormonal therapies the pill ??

That is one of them

TheTwenties · 07/09/2025 21:34

DD has taken Dianette due to PCOS since just under 16. Had some issues with one Gp practice who wanted to stop prescribing but no issues at her current surgery. It definitely helps. Between that and Epiduo for about a year plus a fastidious skin care routine she now has almost clear skin.

SpiritAdder · 07/09/2025 21:35

I am glad it has cleared up, but I still think you should apologise for how you have and continue to consistently frame her acne as caused by her weight gain and her poor diet and peddle the myth that she has cured it by losing weight and taking supplements.

Per Dr Anjali Mahto Consultant Derm.:
““This causes me two concerns. We know acne is often down to hormones and genetics – factors largely outside of our control. Telling someone they are eating ‘bad food’, which is causing their acne, shifts the blame onto the individual and creates a sense of shame around their dietary choices. Often the food consumption has little to do with the acne.
“Secondly, it results in many people cutting out foods from their diet, and in resultant disordered eating patterns, for fear of aggravating their skin disease. I have seen patients refuse to eat cake on their birthday, decline dinner with friends, and develop health anxiety around food, for fear of triggering acne.
“There are inherently no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ foods. Diet is more about eating in a sustained, healthy manner across the course of one’s lifetime. Moderation is key.
“In my practice, I have seen more negative outcomes than success stories – this is probably because those who this works for do not end up seeking dermatological advice.
“However, for the vast majority of people with acne, manipulating diet is likely to have a fairly negligible effect. Acne is largely down to an individual’s hormones and genetics. I have seen many cases of people, particularly young women, who have cut out a large number of food groups including dairy, sugar and gluten to improve their acne and have developed resultant orthorexia or disordered eating around food, which is very worrying. If treating acne was as simple as cutting out dairy, I would not have so many vegan patients."

“Probiotics, antioxidants, omega-3 fatty acids, zinc and vitamins A and E have been linked to helping acne-prone/spotty skin. But does science support the claims?
“The data for all these is limited and comes from small observational studies with relatively few participants, often with poor methodology or trial design and statistical analysis”, explains Dr Mahto. She adds, “it is therefore definitively difficult to say if supplementation of any of the above will have a true benefit for acne. The doses of the supplements suggested may be difficult to tolerate. An example is that zinc sulphate can cause gastrointestinal side-effects (if consumed in excess).
“Vitamin A in high doses – higher than one would find in an over-the-counter supplement – is already used in prescription acne treatment in the form of isotretinoin (Roaccutane). My advice would be to exercise caution with over-the-counter supplements as the evidence is limited, resulting in unnecessary expense and potential side-effects. It is better to have a discussion with your GP or consultant dermatologist about the tried, tested and validated treatments on offer with known safety-profiles. If you are planning a pregnancy, are pregnant, breastfeeding or taking other prescribed medications, then speak to a doctor first.”
““Nobody should have to feel miserable or self-conscious because of their acne. Being concerned about your skin is not vanity – and acne is not a beauty or cosmetic problem, it is a medical one with medical treatments. Please do not suffer in silence and do not get conned into spending a fortune on beauty products or supplements.
“Seek professional help from your GP or a consultant dermatologist, who will diagnose the type and severity of acne you have and tailor a plan individual to you. We know that acne is related to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and poor body image, and in an ideal scenario we would like to treat you before you develop physical or mental scarring because of it.”

bigyellowtractorface · 07/09/2025 21:46

There are a lot more unpleasant and/or dangerous side effects of roaccutane than the risk of suicidal ideation. My son has just finished on it. Idk why you are being so dismissive.

I am getting a sense you are projecting an experience of your own onto the op.

PornOfCopia · 07/09/2025 21:55

It seems like she's stuck ruminating on a very specific issue, poor kid. There's no harm in asking the GP about anti depressants, just so you both know what her options are (I'm pretty sure I took them during my a levels - but that was a long time ago!).

SpiritLadder clearly has issues of her own so I would advise OP not to take her criticism to heart...

PinkChaires · 07/09/2025 22:32

PornOfCopia · 07/09/2025 21:55

It seems like she's stuck ruminating on a very specific issue, poor kid. There's no harm in asking the GP about anti depressants, just so you both know what her options are (I'm pretty sure I took them during my a levels - but that was a long time ago!).

SpiritLadder clearly has issues of her own so I would advise OP not to take her criticism to heart...

Yep. She has since moved on to an other issue. Shes currently getting cbt, but realistically her and i think she need ADs. If you go to the gp at 18, do they just give you them?

OP posts:
PornOfCopia · 08/09/2025 14:23

I would hope that at any age the GP would have a conversation with the patient and give options based on individual circumstances...

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