Approaching 50. What advice would you give me?

[Redhairandhottubs]

I’m turning 50 and not feeling great about it if I’m honest. It seems like such a big number and looking at people around me, I’m worried about dealing with health issues and caring for parents as they get older.

To those in their 50’s and beyond, is there any advice you would give to make the coming years as good as possible? What (if any!) are the positives of getting older?

It’s just the same as being 49 really, until you have to fill your age in on a form. That’s the only difference.

This. Look after your health. Get stronger. Get fitter now because every year that passes makes it harder to do.

I’ve had a great time in my 50s and im Lucky with my health but I don’t take it for granted. I work at it.

Strength training is a must ,
Factor 50 daily
Choose three days a month when you only do
something for YOU. It could be going out for a meal, a weekend break etc

I don’t know when i started going through peri (had a mirena coil and no periods), but am firmly post-meno now at 58. I am on HRT but only started it recently as I belatedly developed hot flushes and poor sleep. It has helped with both. I don’t exercise enough but do a lot more than I used to (spent years taxiing the DCs around in the evenings), but do between 2 and 5 classes most weeks (cardio, bodyweight conditioning and yoga, I need to fit in more strength) and walk/jog Parkrun, which I love. I have never suffered any stiffness or aches though. Keep forgetting my vitamins but do try and eat lots of seeds, oily fish, avocadoes, salad etc. But I make time for other things too, volunteering and joined a choir, plus I socialise more.

I haven’t noticed this not giving a fuck thing at all, I don’t think I’ve changed with respect to interactions with other people particularly. I’ve always been outgoing and sociable and fortunately work with mostly lovely people. I am more confident with dealing with people in authority now than i used to be though, also people much more senior to me at work etc. Have not noticed any ageism amongst my younger colleagues.

The elderly parents thing is really kicking in now though, we’d got away with it till recently but having all sorts of problems but I am determined to keep up my exercising which I would have ditched out of a few years ago so my attitude has changed.

https://www.instagram.com/share/BARIbX09pQ

Exercise - outside, in gyms etc but keep your fitness up
review skin care, make sure it includes spf

i find Gillian Anderson has a good outlook on aging, worth googling sone of her interviews/ quotes.

Get your mammogram

Take collagen!

Don't eat yellow snow

What ever you think you look like you’re still looking good!

Keep exercise going and a good diet. Apart from that - you’ll never be younger than today.

Thank you for posting this OP. You put in to words exactly how I'm feeling. Unfortunately I don't have any answers, I'm dealing with my dad in hospice and teenagers off the wall but thank you for for writing what I couldn't. Huge hugs to you xxf

This ^^
Enjoy life. I found it very freeing getting older as I cared less about what people thought of me.

Forgive yourself for any past mistakes.

No use worrying all the time so just focus on things you can control and let the rest go.

Try to get enough sleep.

Try to eat well and healthily.

Take exercise.

Look forward to end of periods and embrace this new freedom.

Make time for yourself and your relationship.

Kids will be leaving home soon so make the most of having them around.

Make the most of having your parents with you. You might find their needs overwhelming but once they die you would give anything to have them back, even for another week.

Save into your pension.

50 isn't old in any way. Take care of your health and fitness. Don't put off things that you really want to do. Embrace everything that makes you happy. Invest in relationships, friends and family.

• Don't worry about how it looks, just make sure it works!
• Have the odd side project on the go, so you always have a fun distraction to dive into

Yep my advice is similar

1. weight training 3 times a week with cardio
2. regular walking on top and being active
3. find also a more calming activity for when times are stressful and you just need to really look after yourself / not feeling it eg 15 mins yoga/ gardening / pottering / knitting . Nature / retreats
4. 10 min daily mindful meditation practice - really improves mental focus
5. Get all the standard health checks you can and deal with niggles before they become big issues- a good physio and plan is essential . Use private healthcare / health assessments to the max if you have it
6. financial security- review investments and savings and especially pension pots and get a state pension forecast. Get the Martin Lewis newsletter and download his app. Also follow MoneyWeek. Don’t be afraid to start investing now in a low cost passive world equity investment fund on a low cost investment platform . You can drip feed in £25 a month and have a decent pot of money when you really need it in 10-15 years - remember many people will live to their 90’s so you actually have another 40 years!
7. pair back unnecessary spending and get your house in order. Half the stuff you don’t really need. Make space and focus more on interests and friendships / relationships rather than accumulating ‘stuff’
8. Personal growth - take some time to learn about yourself especially if you’ve just spent 20 plus years bringing up kids and have forgotten who you actually are. Think about yourself especially your relationships- do you see yourself with partner for next 25 years? Will it fulfil you or erode you? What do you want to change about how you show up?
9. Travel if you can afford it. Even if it’s just different place in U.K. change of scene . It’s fun. Find the joy again. So much of life can be ordinary , constant work , paying bills, serving everyone else’s needs. Find the everyday things that bring you joy and plan some exciting bigger things aswell
10. read as many books as you can !

That's a brilliant list @Leaningtowerofpisa !!
Wise advice.

I’d add one more thing to @Leaningtowerofpisa’s list - exercise your brain. Learn a language or a new skill.

I feel like I need very little advice at 50, it's more that everyone else needs it from me.

Benefits include not being hit on constantly and not giving a fuck about other people's opinions . Oh and better car insurance rates.

Ignore most people on here who talk about hitting 50 like they're suddenly old and decrepit!

Honestly, I'm the fittest, strongest, slimmest I've been and have no health problems at all (except for Crohns but I don't count that as it's here to stay!) If you watch your diet, keep exercising and make time for the things you enjoy then you're off to a good start 😊

Thanks everyone. So many helpful and inspiring posts. I know 50 isn’t old, it’s more the fact it’s a big milestone and getting older does scare me. I’m trying to look at it in a positive way though. After all, we never really know what’s round the corner and even being young is no guarantee of good health.

I do a fair bit of exercise and play sport so will try and keep that up. Off the back of this thread, I’ve booked a HRT review, blood test and hygienist appointment.

I really need to look at my pension. I’ve got 3 different ones from jobs, but I don’t really understand pensions or where to start working out what I’m likely to have when I retire. That’s no excuse though as I know all this information is available online. I just need to stop burying my head in the sand!

Hargreaves Lansdown have really good pensions articles
There is also a free service run by the government called something like PensionWise.
sign up to MoneyWeek and Martin Lewis aswell

I also follow a couple of really astute millennials on Instagram who run a very good quality but low price simple investing course for beginners. It’s lifetime access for £275. I really think if more people did this at earlier years they would avoid the poverty trap later in. I can’t stress enough how important it is. The are called stocks and savings. All one word .

Come off social media and start living. There’s less time left.

Annual blood tests.