Reformed messy people - how?!

[sparrowhawkhere]

I’m not an extreme hoarder but there’s always mess in the house, particularly things shoved in cupboards, bought items not taken out of bags then I can’t find them etc.
I work full time, spend a lot of time with my children, as well as doing my share of taking them to various clubs, share cooking and cleaning with my husband, volunteer and love lazing around watching TV when not doing the above. I need to get up and tidy but often I’ve been at with since 7:30 then all of the above so don’t sit down sometimes until 9pm and im shattered!

Our house is nice enough and visitors would say it’s not too messy but that’s because I cram things in cupboards! I try and declutter but it creeps back in. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Following!

except I have piles if mess outside of cupboards too

my friend sent this:

I want you to be the first to know ….
I’m appearing on a show called Hoarders, I can’t tell you when it’ll be aired, I can’t give anything away

Sounds exciting! I’d never let other people see my mess!

Sure this isn’t a joke text!
“I can’t give anything away”
boom boom

Don't know but following with interest! Mine is better for a while after decluttering but, as you say, it creeps back in. It helps if everyone in the household is on board, but unfortunately my kids (2 teenagers and a pre-teen) are not. DH tries but doesn't seem to see stuff as clutter. I am too busy working FT and studying to devote much time to it! Friends who are tidy and organised seem to make it part of their daily routine, whereas my daily routine is too packed with work, study, taxiing kids around and everything else to do more than the bare minimum of housework!

That’s it! It’s trying to fit everything in. I have to do a good job at work, there’s a lot of pressure at times and I want to make sure my children get enough attention. The house comes last and that’s a shame because I see so many people who seem to manage everything with gorgeous homes!

@sparrowhawkhere

i reckon if you got a thousand of similar set up families to all post pictures instantly of their kitchen on a Thursday evening - no tidying - no cropping - just their own kitchen as is - you would find most people - the vast majority- would be more similar to you than not

@frozendaisy thank you 😊 I know there’s a danger with social media to think everyone’s homes are perfect and mine isn’t so yes, ok sure you’re right. I know how good I feel when it’s tidy. I’ve been coming back to this thread in between doing a massive sort of my kitchen so thank you everyone who has replied so far 😊

@sparrowhawkhere
we came back very late last night to a house that wasn’t tidied before we left with bags of clothes to be laundered - so before the kids have 7 friends round tomorrow - 9 teens to feed - they are going to help get things under control

one teen had GCSEs which we kept all his books notes etc until results so we can now recycle most of that

Our house is chaos sometimes basically

you need to be ruthless to make permanent improvements

so my parent’s wedding album, they never even showed me it, it’s irrelevant really, will take out two photos and ditch the rest

managed to get kids to whittle soft toys down to just “family”

we had so many obsolete charging leads the devices hadn’t been sold in decades - I suggested offering to a computer museum

if H gets a bright idea to go it and get stuff for DIY I suggested he competes tasks we already have the stuff for first

no one watches DVDs in this house
or listens to actual CDs
so they went

we know what family games we enjoy now so donated the rest

kitchen cupboards and fridges only work if you know what’s in them

I inherited my parent’s “good glassware” and crockery, so use the good stuff daily - I know it will break but otherwise what it gets handed in a box to the teens like an inter generational heirloom?

I read a lot, but was just buying books not reading them so have barred myself from buying new ones until most of the others are read and donated

being decluttered is as much about not being more stuff as well as throwing stuff away

and being decluttered is the key to tidy

my bugbear if it helps you - is a huge Tupperware of “randoms” - odd screws, remote control buttons and backs broken headphones I think toy bits and “is this importants” - working through but need their help

All really helpful thank you. I’ve made good progress with the kitchen and I think you’re right about using up what we have not buying more.
It’s a vicious cycle, I’m busy, can’t see what we have so buy more, more mess and cycle continues!

Day to day I’m not dealing with things enough so it builds up.

I find you need uninterrupted time and a time where day to day cleaning is done. take a day or a set time where you can focus. pick an area. not too. big or else you get overwhelmed. phone is put away for me but have music on in background. I have three large plastic boxes. everything picked up and put in one box - one box for bin one for charity and one to sort and put back. then they are emptied. charity shop brought as soon as you can to the shop - I find it starts to creep back in. its taken me a while had a load of crap as moved a few times in the past couple of years 🙃 I get ya life is busy you end up buying more - that's why I have so many clothes so I put my self on a ban no clothes shopping for a month and sorted my wardrobe big time. now I can see exactly what I have

I get up early and get stuff done before my day starts properly. I clean one room a day properly but also clean as I go in the kitchen and bathroom and put stuff away as I go. My home isn’t perfect but it helps keep my head clear of there isn’t any clutter

You work full time. You do loads with your kids. You cant do everything and things have to slide. If the house is a mess its better than you not having a job or spending time with your family. It's not the end of the world. Don't feel guilty. Feel proud instead that you are a great mum

This
Something has to give. You can't do it all.
Spend time with kids. Declutter when they have flown the nest
Some people prioritise house, other kids.

Two things helped me - the Marie Kondo book and going into a giant rabbithole on that including a FB group which was massive and a bit overwhelming, but supportive (I think they would be unbearably extreme the way FB groups work now, unfortunately).

And a podcast called A Slob Comes Clean and then later on, the author's book Decluttering at the Speed of Life.

Then for supplemental encouragement/inspiration I like Sort Your Life Out on BBC - I like the way they really think about the purpose of each section of the house when they bring the things back into it so that the whole "everything has a place" makes sense and is easy to stick to.

While yes life is too short to worry about having a messy house, life is also too short to live in a stressful environment and spend loads of time looking for things because it is lost in the mess. It's also much easier to do things with the DC when there isn't excess stuff everywhere.