Why can’t I ever stick to a weight loss plan

[Herewegoagain751]

I have such a complicated relationship with food, I give myself a hard time about everything I eat and I really want to lose weight but my brain seems to betray me and I end up ruining it every single day.
i just feel completely exhausted by how much I beat myself up about this, I have at least a stone to lose and I’m short so I look like a little bowling ball.
But then this weird part of my brain seems to say you know you will fail so don’t bother trying and it’s safe to stay as you are,
it takes over my life and I’m drained.

I do exercise and I feel brilliant afterwards, currently training for mixed doubles hyrox but can’t sort my eating and my messed up attitudes to food.

can’t afford a therapist and I used to binge eat so have to be aware of being overly restrictive

I can kind of relate , I’m the heaviest I have ever been and just seem to talk about losing weight and doing nothing about it , telling myself it won’t work anyway !

I know exactly what to eat, to drink lots of water. I could plan the perfect weekly meal plan but then it’s the thought of catering for the whole family, and the mid afternoon sugar cravings and I’ve failed again,
hate thinking about dinner for us all, every single day!!!!

Honestly it’s complicated. I definitely hear you though! It’s like if I even think about restricting (even if in trying to frame it in my mind as healthy eating etc) my body wants to rebel and eat everything in sight…

The only thing that’s worked for me ever is low carb- which makes me think my eating is linked to my reactions to blood sugar… but unfortunately low carb doesnt agree with me and I can no longer try it. I also have IBS and peri menopause so my eating is just a mess.

But you’re not alone.

Sorry, not much help am I?

Knowing I’m not alone is helpful!
im 47, definitely peri and currently having a horrendous period.

For me, I treat it like an ‘addiction,’ so going into it knowing I’m going to crave, be restless, grumpy, completely preoccupied… but plan to ‘urge surf’ and know that the physical adaptations will get easier after day2/3. I also find willpower increases overtime rather than diminishes, and I read somewhere that’s a helpful approach. Obviously this only deals with the very surface level, the emotional issues driving behaviour, the supportive nutritional choices, exercise and metabolic influence are most important. But for me, getting through day 2 and 3 I know I can build momentum. 💪💪 you can do it!

I am like this. I make myself promises but can never stick to them. Once I’m hungry it’s like all bets are off, I’ll just eat whatever I want that’s available. Once I’ve done it I hate myself and make the same promises to myself again, then get hungry and do the same thing again…so the cycle goes on.

I do think weight loss needs to be sustainable. You can’t just change years worth of eating habits overnight. And you can’t completely deprive yourself of the things you enjoy either. Small steps and small changes will take longer to see results but it’s more likely to last.

I tell myself to 'choose my hard'

It's hard dieting and sticking to it, but like you say, it's hard not doing it and beating yourself up about it.

It just clicked one day in my head. Not sure why or how. I have failed many times before also, so I feel your pain!!

I have always been the same as you, I did manage to get some help with my relationship with food.
I was diagnosed with binge eating disorder and was in therapy for about 16 months.

During that time, I really broke down my relationship with food, and how it got to the point where I felt that food was my only "support" and enjoyment, which was followed up with shame, and self hatred.

Therapy actually helped me to recognise the feelings that lead to my relationship with food being what it was, and how I could empower myself.
I became a bit better at recognising my needs outside of food, and I stopped characterising food as good, or bad, I just started to recognise what actually felt good and nourishing to consume.

I will also admit that mounjaro has helped since, and actually I still like the idea of some foods, which I then purchase and they go in the bin because they go off before I really want to eat them. It allows a bit of extra head space where food is usually concerned.

I think the afternoon snacking is habit and boredom, I need to break the habit.

I can really relate to what you’ve written — it’s so tough when food feels like the enemy and not just fuel. The cycle of “wanting to do well → slipping up → beating yourself up” is exhausting, and honestly, so many of us have been there.
One thing that helped me was shifting away from thinking about a “perfect” plan and instead making small, sustainable swaps. Even something like focusing on adding more protein at breakfast or just planning snacks ahead made a big difference without feeling restrictive. Exercise definitely helps your mindset too — and you’re already smashing it with your training, which is amazing.
Also, you might find it useful to read stories from people who’ve been through similar struggles and figured out sustainable routines. I came across this site the other day that shares tips, motivation, and resources around Lizzo’s approach to body confidence and health: lizzo website . Sometimes it helps to see things from a fresh perspective rather than falling into the same negative thought loop.
You’re not alone in this, and even small shifts can build up over time ❤️

Aagh, tell me about this!

I think that recognising that you are doing it out of habit and boredom is a first step. Doing something about it is harder!

Things that have helped me:

• moving out of the environment where it is easy to snack. So instead of standing in the kitchen while doom scrolling I go and sit upstairs in my bedroom
• saying, I'll have that biscuit in 5 minutes, and usually I've found something else to do and forgotten about it by then
• have a drink instead
• plan a nice snack to look forward to at a set time, and include it in your daily plan
• have a stock of low calorie, boring foods to snack on if the above don't work. I have a tupperware box of carrots that I've peeled and cut into batons in the fridge, or rice cakes. Take a good handful and eat them somewhere else in the house. And have a drink of water.
• chew gum
• tell yourself that today you will eat like a thin person, and worry about tomorrow when it comes.

@Herewegoagain751 You're GP may be able to refer you to ED clinics or a binge eating specific clinic, normally they have a range of professionals you can see, so dieticians, therapists etc. That could help with accountability etc, or if the GP says they cannot ask for a referral to weight management services.

Do the 5:2 diet. It works wonders, especially with just a stone to lose. I put on the same amount when I gave up smoking and I’ve battled to lose it, but I’m there.

I understand op. I am on wli but prior to that, every day I'd wake up feeling optimistic about finally starting a new diet...as the day went on, I'd find it harder and harder until I'd say sod it, and eat what I wanted. Then I'd start again the next day. I was in a constant battle with myself.

I had no idea how little control I had over my eating until I tried a weight loss injection. Food noise was immediately switched off and my stomachs ability to feel full was turned on. It was a revelation. I didn’t even realise people
didnt get food nagging in their brains. Im
not advocating for expensive injections because they’re not for everyone however I do think the lessons that can be learned from reading about them can help people stop beating themselves up over inability to stick to plans. Lots of plans are designed for you to eventually fail. WW /SW etc all need to you fail and return it’s their business model.

the genetic and hormonal components of food noise ought to be better studied because I know for me that is my problem. My stomach and brain don’t communicate properly that it’s full and that sets off the nagging to fill me up by whatever means necessary.

Add in emotional and/or boredom eating and it’s a disaster waiting to happen.

please don’t beat yourself up over this. The idea willpower alone will help is bs. It’s far easier to cut out something you’re addicted to such as alcohol, tobacco or drugs that you do not need to exist but food you can’t do the same with.

What helped me was getting my perimenopause sorted out, initially hrt then a Mirena. It meant I had more energy and got my iron checked. I was very low after a lot of bleeding.

then more protein and fibre. Eggs for breakfast with a bit of rocket on the side or tomato’s cooked the night before and keep in the fridge for a few days. , soup with lentils or beans (I make a batch) for lunch, protein veg and carb for tea. It means I’m rarely starving…but just hungry for meals.

it’s slow but it works.

Thank you

Yep I have felt this so many times too. I also think it's very complicated and we all KNOW really what we need to do but I have a lot of emotional attachment to food, eating when stressed, sad etc. I have decades of this behaviour!

What has really helped me the last month (after feeling crappy and really not taking care of myself) is seeing nourishment as the treat, rather than chocolate etc. - which makes me tired and leaves me feeling bad about myself, low on energy and all that. And upping my protein which in turn has made me snack less, then after a few days I started feeling loads better as I wasn't getting sugar spikes and crashes. I'm aiming for 80ishg protein a day and it's been quite an interesting little project😆i WFH so it's all about the omelettes with cottage cheese!

I've also been following this account though I haven't done the coaching, but she speaks to me in totally getting that it's complicated and not just about discipline and staying motivated https://www.instagram.com/lifeeditwithalix?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==