How can I get her to look!?

[Smalltimegirl]

My daughter is just 10 and going into Yr 6 where lots of her friends will be walking to school alone. I want to give her the freedom to - especially as she’ll be at senior school next year - but she just doesn’t consistently look when crossing the road.

She’s very sensible, very bright, mature for her age, but she also gets distracted and daydreams, forgets where she puts things, leaves things everywhere etc. 95% of the time she is great at crossing the road but the other 5% she just ‘forgets.’

It frustrates her massively too - and I don’t know how to help her! What can I do?

I think all you can really do is drill this sort of thing so that it becomes second nature, not something she needs to constantly think about.
Better late than never.

Apparently it takes 66 repetitions to form a habit. I’d plan a walking route to do with her several times a week (do you have a dog?) and incorporate lots of road crossing, as practice. Don’t prompt her, but watch her carefully, both on these walks and whenever you’re out and about. Keep track of her crossings ‘count’ and let her know that she needs to cross 70 - 100 (your choice really) roads successfully (checking both ways) and consecutively, before you will let her walk to school alone.
If she steps out into the road without checking, you start counting again from 1.

To begin with, she will need to consciously remember (do NOT remind her, her brain needs to start doing this work itself), just be ready to grab her if necessary.

Eventually though, she should get into the habit herself. It may take some time, depending on how often you manage to go out walking, but think of it like driving. If you’re not safe to be on the road alone, you’re not safe - end of. It takes as long as it takes. And the independence you get at the end of it is worth the repetitive practice, in the end.

My DD was the same, but basically when she was with me. I let her go alone a few times and secretly followed her and she was always far more attentive when I wasn't there. Because she knew I would look/stop her. The only way you can really help her is to let her practice alone.

I'd make sure her clothes/coat has a reflective strip on; buy her reflective tags or stickers for her bags. (We once lived somewhere where children go to school alone at 5 and these were standard on all kids coats, bags and often shoes).

@YesTHATMum this is what I’m thinking - she’s forgetting to look because she doesn’t need to if I’m there, perhaps.

@Comeinupto40 i appreciate the sentiment but that seems a little punitive - she’s not forgetting or not bothering, so I think that approach would increase anxiety