Help me manage my life - hints and tips please!

[LumpySpaceCow]

Hi!

Situation:

Me and DH (both work full time mon-fri)

• 4 kids and a dog - activities most nights
• Trying to reduce UPF so home cooking eessential all meals + packed lunches(have a bread maker, soup maker, slow cooker etc. To assist in this)
• Struggling to fit in exercise and cleaning

Would really appreciate any hints/tips on how you organise your days/time to get everything done and not have a nervous breakdown! Currently feel like there aren't enough hours in the day! To add, me and DH do everything 50/50 re: cooking, cleaning, pick ups, activities etc. although I probably carry more of the mental load so have downloaded a shared organisation app to help with that!

My thinking is that I need to go to bed early and get up early (5am) to fit everything in (start with exercise) - would appreciate you sharing your routine if you do this and how you make sure you aren't super knackered!

Thanks!

Do you get a lunch hour? If so, could you go for a run/walk or even the gym?

The biggest change for me was getting a cleaner in for 2 hours a week. I also look at my diary on a Sunday and then plan my exercise in just like any other appointment. Once it's in, it happens!

@Forgottenmyphone at the minute, no, once I am working I struggle to break away to eat let alone exercise - that's why I think I need to do it early but getting motivates to do so is another thing!

@Tinytigertail good suggestion. We had one pre covid but then haven't had one since - we now have a shedding dog which might put a cleaner off! I do think I need to plan more!

Maybe separate those things. And work out how much importance each one holds. Are you putting expectations and pressure on your self to do things 100%.

Because UPF eating depending on its importance to you, doesnt need to be 100%. Work out how important it is to you. And reflect that in your week. Eating UPF even 50% of the time is a really positive thing. If you are putting pressure on yourself to achieve 100% then you are starting out with stress.

The same as exercising, you dont have to suddenly commit to an hour a day marathon training. But having a more achievable goal, spread out over the week say, will be easier to do.

What sometimes helps me, is ranking importance out of 7. If it is it extremely important, a 7. Then it is daily. If for example exercising is a 3, then ill aim to do it 3 times that week.

It doesnt have to be all or nothing.

What can you combine? If you have a dog can you run with the dog? What activities are the kids doing? Can you drop them off and exercise whilst they do their activity. Cleaning wise, I schedule different jobs for different days. Will fold laundry whilst waiting for the kettle to boil. Clean the shower straight after getting out of it. I also try to do things as soon as I get them, get an email and action whatever straight away. Life admin on phone whilst waiting for an appointment, waiting to pick up kids etc.
Cooking wise, double up and freeze.

You don't say the ages of you children, but are they contributing as much as they could be/should be? Remember that you don't do your.kids any favours by doing everything for them. They should be contributing to cleaning/tidying/food prep etc. in a way appropriate for their ages.

Remember not to get too bogged down in one thing. Eating well is important for your health, of course it is. But do you know what else is important for your longterm health? Sleep, exercise and keeping stress to a minimum. Calculate whether missing exercise and getting up at 5am to bake a loaf bread is actually worth it. Chances are it's better to have a good supermarket loaf and be less stressed/better rested.

I think you need to cut yourself some slack, working full time & 4 dc who all do activities!

You can't juggle everything and trying to will make you mad most likely.

What app are you using?

I work 4 short days with 2 dc, the days I work are dominated by work & activities. DH & I cook from scratch and try to eat together & do breakfasts/lunches for work. DH will try and do some exercise, I also try & bake some healthy snacks/pudding.

Friday I don't work so I will do either yoga or weights, meet friends etc and dinner will be something from the freezer eg fish & chips.

Weekend has more activities and seeing friends and family. I will do another bit of exercise.

As pp said it's about prioritising what's important to you. My dc, relationship with DH and then social relationships come first. Then I value food and eating together. I would like to exercise more but try and walk to activities. Cleaning low down the list!

The slow cooker is good. I also recommend oven cooking with shove-in-and-leave type dinners. Rukmini Iyer's roasting tin recipe books are fantastic. 5 mins to prep then stick in oven and leave. Whilst cooking, do a bit of cleaning.

Everyone in the house should clean up after themselves. So nobody leaves the washbasin full of hair after using it, or leaves their dirty cups on the coffee table, etc. That way the only regular cleaning you do is actual cleaning, and it doesn't need done anywhere near as often. I clean bathrooms once a week, and hoover twice a week (no pets). I do one deep clean job once a week (eg dusting, windows). The kitchen is briefly wiped down every night. I spend max an hour per week actively cleaning - the rest is tidy as you go. The house always looks clean.

Exercise is trickier. You will have to get up early for this, or drop the kids at their activities and run/cycle/gym nearby. Your choice! Unless you can fit it into your work day, like walking treadmill whilst you do meetings, or cycle to work.

Packing it all in like this makes the week mental, but leaves the weekends free for genuine chilling and family time.

Thank you so much - some really good advice and I definitely need to cut myself some slack and decide what's most important to me in terms of the diet, exercise etc.

Posted too soon!
@yellowcupofhappy The app I use is called family wall - free trial to see if it actually helps!

@NuffSaidSam you are right. My DH says the same as they do very little - we often feel like slaves to them as we literally do everything! They are 16, 10, 9 and 7. The little one often wants to help but it's sometimes easier to do things myself!

@LavaHoover I will try that book and thanks for sharing your tips - that is what we try to do but on really busy weeks I let it slip which I need to stop.