Cancel break or take step children ?

[Harvestmoons]

Short break booked next week for me, DH and DDog.
Arranged this in advance as step children were due to be away on hol with their Mum.
DH's ex has messaged him today to say her plans have changed and the kids will be coming to us next week as she has something else on (don't get me started🙄)

DSS 13 & DSD 15 could come with us as there's 2 bedrooms plus sofa bed, but DH has suggested this to them but they are not keen as its primarily a break for country walks and in a remote location, which I understand is not appealing for a lot of teens.

DH is veering towards cancelling but there will be no refund due to short notice.
I think we should give it a shot and try and get DSC's on board.
We had a weeks holiday with DSC at the start of summer but it was abroad, all inclusive resort with water park on site and lots to do so they loved it. But this break is not up their street at all.
Wifi is important to DSC and is advertised but it warns intermittent service due to location.
What can i do to persuade them, or am I being selfish as I've been so looking forward to it , think hot tub lodge, nice views, riverside walks 😢

Thank you all for your replies its been so helpful.
DH still at work but I fully intend to have a frank discussion tonight.
I will not be cancelling the break.

I have looked for water sports in the area and there are some. We only have 1 car so my idea is to propose that we all set off together and do a water activity en route before they drop me and DDog off at the lodge.

DH & DSC can then return home for the rest of the week if they please and I will not feel a shred of guilt.

You had plans. You can facilitate them joining you as their plans have changed. But you don’t cancel the plans. (Or at least, you don’t - if DH feels he needs to stay, go yourself alone or with a friend/another relative). And tell them that you can’t just cancel as it costs you money so that’s why you’re not cancelling.

Agree with everyone else - absolutely don't cancel if you can't get a refund (or even if you could I still wouldn't be cancelling!)

I have to say as a step-parent, I would be massively annoyed if DH agreed to this last minute change of plans without even taking me into account.

I would take the dog (and possibly a friend if anyone is available!) and go and spend a week on my own enjoying the peace and quiet.

I would just tell them it's a good opportunity to relax. Don't tell them the wifi may be dodgy! Plus there's a hot tub, my DD9 would love this!

I wouldn’t cancel. You’ve made plans so either you’re not available for dsc (what if you’d book flights somewhere?) or they join you as a plan B.
No need to put your own plans and needs aside.

I think your Dh needs to clarify the situation with his ex. Proper emergency, she needs surgery or has an ailing parent, yes, understandable. Friend got tickets to a gig and she cancelled on her kids because she wants to go party instead, no, she needs to find alternative childcare for her (now) weekend.

That said, your weekend away is the sort of thing we do as a family. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think these teens need to suck it up and learn to enjoy something that it’s just content for social media. I have a young teen. She enjoys a hot tub and riverside walks and nice meals! Even if they don’t absolutely love it, this is a perfectly normal holiday and I’d expect them to get stuck in as a family.

They are good kids, so realistically if they say they don't want to go then it really does means they don't want to, which is fair enough.

I will see if they are up for a day trip on day 1 but if not I will not press them any further.

Op I actually really love how you are handling this. It’s clear you adore your stepkids and frankly I love your responses.

I would be stunned if Ex is facing an emergency but will find out later.

I did hope that DSD in particular would be more open to the hot tub break and meals out etc but she's not enthusiastic and as I am not their Mum its tricky

Was it explained that if you didn't go, that you and their father would miss out on a holiday and it would lose all the money?

Definitely go by yourself. Don't lose your money.

Make the kids go..buy them a bit of extra data for their phones ..let them.stay in the cottage whilst you go out walking

Your DH should talk to the kids, explain it's probably not their first choice but it was yours, so as their Mum needs to change her plans, this is how it's going to be.
I'd try and make it fun for them. Get them some extra data on their phones, pack some board games, take lots of good snacks. Whatever you think they will like.
They might surprise you and enjoy it. Any signs of sulking though - riot act from DH.

What would they normally do if staying the week with you? Think you should go and they can stay at cottage while you go for walks or maybe you can drop them off somewhere and pick them up later. As you have paid already withno refund for cancellation if it becomes unbearable you could leave early at no additional cost.

Your DH needs to man up and tell his ex-wife that it’s up to her to arrange childcare as the two of you have got plans. The kids don’t even want to come so they’ll ruin it anyway 🤷‍♀️

It sounds like the kind of thing that is incredibly good for teens even if they’re not hugely keen on the idea.

Short break means part week?

We’re all going for at least one night. Walks, water sports, hot tub, nice pub meal. Can then go home on train, or continue to stay and enjoy the fresh air.

Its a long weekend Friday to Monday, not much to ask really. They are back at school on Wednesday anyway.

On the days they have been with us during the summer they have been mostly chilling out. We've done bowling and theme park days out which they enjoy.

I don’t understand why the kids have got a veto?

’Right kids, we can’t get the money back so we’re going. What board games shall we take? At least there’s good scenery and a hot tub for Insta. Might let you have a shandy if you’re lucky’.

Done.

I think you just need to take them too - you might have to have a more chilled weekend than you were planning but it should be a nice relaxed weekend before back to school - if there are nice views , nice food - take nice ready meals or eat out , games and dvds and a hot tub it could be lovely

I need to know what’s so important for you to miss out on a long weekend?

This.