Have you ever known someone who committed a serious crime?

[TheGhostsOfMeAndYou]

I’ve been listening to a true crime podcast recently and it got me thinking. One of the episodes was about Fred and Rose West. When Fred was first arrested (at the stage where police had only uncovered three bodies in the garden), his brother and sister-in-law spoke about him and said they couldn’t believe he’d done what he was accused of, as he had always seemed so gentle and polite spoken.

It made me wonder — has anyone here ever known someone who’s committed a serious crime, and did it come as a total shock? Or were there warning signs in hindsight? Did you ever suspect anything at the time? And how did others around them react — was it disbelief, or did some say they weren’t surprised?

I also have to say that very sadly I assume that at least 50% of the men I know have either committed or under certain circumstances would commit sexual offences. It’s a terrible thing to think but I’ve come across so many cases of women absolutely floored after learning a trusted male relative or male friend is a sex offender. I am mistrustful of men generally and that includes the lovely, kind men I know.

My close friend’s cousin was one of two men convicted of a high profile murder 20 odd years ago. The victim was a lawyer and his killing made the headlines with David Cameron and other leading politicians weighing it. My friend was used as a false alibi by her cousin, thankfully phone records placed him at the scene of the crime. The cousin will have been released by now. I wonder what kind of person he is now, he did not show a shred of remorse at the time.

I don’t…

There was a documentary a while ago about a police unit that uses advanced DNA to crack old/unsolved cases. Obviously sexual assault is perfect because semen stains are often left behind. They showed the police knocking on doors and confronting elderly men who'd committed violent rapes in the past. One had raped a young boy in a park in the 1980s, and another had committed a string of sex attacks on young girls walking home from school in the 1990s. Both seemed perfectly normal. The guy who'd raped the school girls was married, ran his own business, and lived in a detached house surrounded by photos of his grandchildren. All denied it until the DNA evidence was put before them.

At the end, a police officer looked into the camera and said "if you did something awful when you were young, and have left DNA evidence behind, we're coming to get you. Prepare for a knock on the door." I remember wondering how many man were watching that programme sat on a sofa, with their partner in their arms and photos of their kids on the wall, shaking in fear.

I think the issue is often that there is some idea these men who abuse adults weaker than them stop there. Unfortunately there are a lot of men motivated exactly like that. Children are better targets because they are smaller, weaker and aren’t readily believed. I know people say they do, but really, their actions show otherwise.

Blimey! I just looked her up. Was there anything odd about her at that young age?

I just watched the bodycam arrest footage of Owen Pellow and he seems rambling and incoherent... seems off his face on something, like a bad acid trip.

Yep, my neighbour convicted of horrific SA against children, youngest being 3.
i looked after someone convicted of murder
both shocked me. Normal people and I had no idea.

Well I was about 5 so oblivious. But my mum said her parents were dysfunctional so I assume it all stemmed from there.

Yes a few people. A family member recently met someone who had been in prison for murder. Someone in my family has committed a serious crime (nothing that has harmed anyone, though). It was a big shock.

Went to secondary school with a peadophile. He was a little bit odd but I never expected that.

I didn’t know him but my great great grandfather murdered someone in a drunken rage outside a pub, went to prison and was hit by a taxi and died on the day of his release apparently. I learned this through doing a family tree

I knew a guy that was done for sex crimes. I can't say it was a surprise as I always felt uneasy around him but it was a surprise in that I didn't know why I was uneasy around him and I wouldn't have/didn't predict what he was done for. I just thought he was a bit creepy if I thought anything at all

Closest I've come is I lived in a house share. The land lady lived in the same house downstairs. When there was a spare room advertised the headmaster of a local private school phoned and said his adult son was interested. The parents came to look round but not the adult son as he was busy apparently. The landlady accepted someone else to live there instead. A bit later the son killed both parents.

Not directly, but a close circle. Two family members of a chap I dated had multiple criminal convictions, as did their cousins. He stayed well away from them and I initially didn't know why, he just said he didn't get on with them. I then once randomly googled one of their names after somebody told me the man in question won some bodybuilding competitions over the years and I was mortified - there was a long list of serious convictions there, assault, GBH, fraud, intimidating a witness, bribery...crazy. Never expected this as the chap I was seeing came from a very good background and holds a high profile community role (we're still friends).

A few.

Somebody I know and lived with served a long stretch for the murder of a gangland figure, shot him dead in broad daylight on his mother's doorstep. It was a high profile case at the time.

I wasn't surprised per se because that's the world he's from, but to me he was always an absolute delight. An old school bloke, respectful (especially towards women and children) and only those who ran in the same circles would see the other side to him.

Then I had childhood friend who was murdered by another childhood friend, who also attempted to murder his brother during the same attack. This one surprised me because childhood friend #1 wouldn't say boo to a goose usually, in fact he used to get the piss taken out of him a lot. I think one day he just snapped, drugs and alcohol were a factor.

You mentioned Rose West - one of my oldest friends (female) was in prison with her. She was sentenced to over 5 years for a firearms offence and was put on a wing for long-termers, which included lifers, and Rose was in a cell opposite. She doesn't go by Rose anymore, one of the prison officers told people who she was. A very unremarkable woman by all accounts. When my friend got out she looked her up and was stunned that it was the same woman.

I'm a very normal, law abiding person contrary to what this post may have you believe - I just had a colourful upbringing 😂

DH went to school with someone who was on the front of the local paper after he was convicted of rape, his first reaction was if anyone was going to go to prison for rape it would be that guy, he’d always been a wrong’un.

An old acquaintance who was a serial rapist (got caught by his sketch on crime watch).

Neighbour who is a convicted paedophile (he’s currently in prison).

I used to be a single mum (with no support from my family)

We had a family that lived down our street-the teens (2 boys and a girl) where lovely but the mother was neglectful to say the least (their father was nowhere to be seen) and the kids saw a lot they shouldn't have seen and the dd ended up pregnant and in care

One of the teens would babysit for me sometimes and my kids adored him

All good until we moved a few miles away

A year or so later,it was in the papers that the other teen (the brother) had shaken his baby so hard,the baby had almost died-he did time for it,which was shocking-he seemed a really nice lad

It took another turn about 4 years later when my (now teen) dd came racing upstairs to tell me our babysitter and the brother where on the Jeremy kyle show,fighting over who was the father to the child (no mention of what had happened) as the mother had been shagging both of them at the same time

Neither where the father,that honour belongs to another man and the brothers almost had a punch up on the show

We saw them both about a week after the show aired and they where best mates again

The baby was left with brain damage and the whole family swear he hadn't done it and had taken the rap for a fictional person who they claimed did it

It's rot as he was alone with the baby at the time it happened and they claimed in court that the injuries the baby had where the same as if he'd been in a car crash

Two of the students in my first year university dorm (not in UK) were convicted of murdering her parents. Fairly famous case making international headlines. I didn't know her very well but he visited our suite a lot before they hooked up. I just went to a reunion and there was a photo of me with him laughing on the sofa. Genuinely gave me chills.

Cousin
Twice convicted for having a crazy amount of CSA images. They need to throw away the key, he's not going to change.
I have no contact and haven't since childhood. Feel bad for his parents and brother though. I'm glad my grandparents never knew, it would have broken them.

My ex’s best friend turned out to be a terrorist in the military. And then escaped prison.

someone who assaulted a baby and got 10yrs - never had any idea they’d be capable of such
a rapist - something odd but didn’t know there was already a pending case (charged with 2 counts, 2 different people)
a friend of a friend, helped set up her exes murder and knew it had been carried out - any programme about it shows how calculated she was

On the other side, family member murdered, another raped, another abused - turns my stomach at the aftermath the victims have been left with.

A friend of mine used to have a really dodgy 'wheeler dealer del boy' type boyfriend (he was a tosser)

Anyway,he would invite his mates back to hers and there was one bloke who really gave her the jeebies

She hated him and refused to be left alone with him

One day,the boyfriend was out and this bloke popped round,my mate refused to let him in and he went away,coming back about an hour or so later after the boyfriend had come back

Totally normal,didn't act strange at all,drank his coffee,had a natter and left

Alun kyte,a long distance lorry driver

He'd killed two woman (my mate knew one of them as 'tracy the prostitute') and dumped their bodies

He'd killed Tracey and headed straight round to my friends house,was refused entry so headed to another ladies house (I know this lady to speak to) to see her late husband and left there and went back to my friends house

He'd just committed a bloody murder and acted like nothing had happened

I worked in a school for students with mental health issues for a very long time. A few years after they left, a student was convicted of murdering a homeless person (around 6-7 years ago now). It wasn’t a great surprise to any of us at the school tbh as he always had that ‘psychotic vibe’!
The sad thing is, there’s a few others I could flag as ‘likely to commit a serious crime’ but there’s no system for educators to flag this kind of hunch because we can’t offer any proof! Better systems need to be in place to listen to the people who spend time with these students day in, day out 😔

Yes my sister new husband murdered their neighbour (a woman) last year. I am not joking either