A friend mentioned she keeps catching sight of me this summer, looking in a 'world of my own'. Made me feel a bit uncomfortable!

[Sunshadows]

Other than when I met this friend for lunch last week, I haven't seen her since early July!

She lives in a town I pass (sometimes stop off at) regularly. I use the buses, mainly to get to my weekend job, visit my parents and sometimes meet dh where he volunteers, if we're going out afterwards.

To get to work and my parents, I have a short gap between buses, when I sometimes get a coffee and sit, may look at my phone, may just be lost in thought, especially at the end of a busy day!

She said she's seen me numerous times this summer, shouted to me from her car and says her dh has tooted me a few times. Each time I've apparently been completely oblivious!

If anyone's familiar with the Bradford Interchange it's a bit like that, but smaller, with cars, buses & people coming from all directions. It's noisy, so I'm not surprised I've not seen or heard her!

It's made me a bit self conscious though, she seems to find it amusing that I sit with a coffee, or stand on the corner texting (easiest place for dh to spot me or get a taxi)! Her dh even mimicked my expression to her, when I was sitting waiting one evening. (Probably tired after work and thinking, my time now)!

I thought I was inconspicuous in my travels but obviously not. These two btw, are not ones to ever really sit, they're louder than me & dh and don't stop! So probably find the sight of me sitting quietly, a bit weird.

Would anyone else feel a bit uncomfortable? I'll probably be looking in all directions now, rather than see it as me-time!

They sound like the types to take the Michael out of anyone that isn't the same as them.
If she mentions it again, do and "oh really" and then change the subject. If she messages you about it reply with something off topic ignoring what she's written. They'll get the hunt eventually.
What you're doing sounds completely normal.

Thank you Deadpan! I'm so used to public transport, I'm probably on Autopilot.

I sometimes see people I know in passing, if they look deep in thought, their mind on other things I just pass by. I certainly wouldn't be screeching across the road at them! Yes we're all different, some people just don't get that. 🤔

They sound tedious. If they keep on, I'd just say "yeah, as you've already said, about a thousand times. Whats the problem?"
That should get your point across.

You're massively overthinking it this! The only person doing the judging of you is you, the rest is just projection. It's normal that she's tried to say hi, and she realises that you can't hear her or are just wrapped up in what you're doing, which again is fine. Honestly, don't give it another thought.

In her shoes there are probably people that would have started a thread on mumsnet wondering why their friend was ignoring them, have been advised to go non-contact and you'd never have heard from her again and been none the wiser.

If she is sensitive type, it is possible she is feeling a bit snubbed and trying to make light of it, Though appreciate this isn’t the case - ie you aren’t snubbing her at all x

You could say “no, I'm just ignoring you.” with a big grin, so she doesn’t know if it's a joke or not..

Pick your sentence in response

That's nice dear
Nah! I'm ignoring you
I can't hear you?
And?

Just line them up and repeat as needed! She's being niggly for her own reasons!

It sounds to me like she’s trying to make you feel self conscious, it’s such a weird thing to say. If she had said we have tooted you a few times and you didn’t see us - fine, that’s factual. But to say you looked in a world of your own and mimick your facial expression is plain rude.

I never look at all if a car toots when I’m walking - mainly because they are meant to be used towards other drivers not pedestrians unless you are stood in the middle of the road, and also because I always felt a bit stupid when I turned and looked and it wasn’t for me, so I just don’t look now. I actually find it odd that people toot people they know as they pass them unless they are trying to get their attention to give them a lift.

Yes she has her head up her arse and can’t conceive that someone can just be lost in thought or doom mindlessly scrolling.

I’d be pissed off too- it’s quite rude isn’t it- to comment on another’s behaviour in a disapproving way.

Some people have continuos companionship and cannot fathom what life is like alone

Thank you everybody, I suppose it's just how I am when travelling. I do it so often I just see it as 'me-time' I suppose.

I don't honestly think she could do an hour on her own on a bus, she wouldn't know what to do with herself. I'm the opposite, can easily occupy myself!