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Original poster

Holiday delimma

28 replies

PearlHammer · 26/08/2025 15:42

I had a summer of pure f*cking hell. I was pulled in every direction from my work to my family. The last time I had any appropriate proper time off was back in June.

Ever since then it's all been working, or college course that my work has me doing, or something of my family are home from abroad and there was so much babysitting pushed onto me. I swear if I wasn't working, I had my head in books or I was babysitting. There was no real proper time off.

My partner is talking about a holiday but it's all last minute then from next week. The thing is, it's a cruise. He really lives cruises and I can see the pros and cons of them. However the last cruise I was on, I noticed a lot of people on board the ship with a band cough and eventually I came down with fever and cough and the same thing whatever it was.

I had a summer of fucking hell on this earth, pulled in every direction and I just don't want to end it with a cruise holiday and likely an episode of fucking sickness to boot.

Not only that, I know norovirus can be very contagious on cruises too. I don't want that.

I was trying to tell my partner I am busy and can't go on a cruise but he's not really listening to me. I would be open to a weekend away somewhere win Europe but not really a week on a cruise due to the likelyhood of getting ill. I can go into my local a&e and get sick for free.

OP posts:
Original poster
PearlHammer · 26/08/2025 15:42

Sorry spelt dilemma wrong.

OP posts:
Original poster
PearlHammer · 26/08/2025 15:43

I would prefer a European get away to be honest. Not a week on board a ship.

OP posts:
PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 26/08/2025 15:47

Plenty of people go away on cruises and don’t get sick. Norovirus isn’t a given, otherwise no one would ever go on a cruise.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Holidays
GreenAndWhiteStripes · 26/08/2025 15:47

YANBU - assuming you are paying for your share of the holiday, your partner needs to listen to you and find something that works for both of you. All the info about having a difficult summer is irrelevant really. If you go on holiday you should have an equal input into the type of holiday.

Wishimaywishimight · 26/08/2025 15:50

PearlHammer · 26/08/2025 15:43

I would prefer a European get away to be honest. Not a week on board a ship.

I don't quite understand why you can't just say that- it's not unreasonable. If he's not hearing you just repeat yourself!

Maddy70 · 26/08/2025 15:54

I have never been ill from a cruise and I go several times ayear

OverlyFragrant · 26/08/2025 15:54

You can get sick on a plane full of people, or from touching the handle of a spoon at a buffet in a posh fancy hotel.

If you dont want to go on a cruise, dont go, but dont pretend its unhygienic.

WifeOfAGemini · 26/08/2025 15:57

I wouldn’t fancy a cruise either. I think it’s fine to tell DP you don’t like the idea. It’s your holiday too; is there no room for compromise (eg something you like this year, cruise next year?)

No one can force you to go on a cruise OP!

Also - what is all this about mandatory babysitting? Who is forcing you to do babysitting (whose kids are they?)

ns87 · 26/08/2025 16:06

You need to communicate properly and discuss it.

Also - why were you babysitting so much, try saying no.

Original poster
PearlHammer · 26/08/2025 16:09

It's my family who were home for the summer from abroad. They were slacking off parenting and pushing their kids onto me. I love my nieces and nephews but this was just too much. Worked into the bone and then babysitting on top of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
PearlHammer · 26/08/2025 16:10

Something I do t get is that he knows I had an awful summer, why hasn't he asked me what I would like to do? He's pushing a cruise holiday.

OP posts:
Radiatorvalves · 26/08/2025 16:11

I’m relaxed about illness ( know lots of people who’ve been cruising and been fine) but you could not pay me to go on a cruise. Well, maybe if you paid me..

Seriously I’d rather do anything else. As would DH. It’s not the sea - we were both in the navy and like sailing. Just no interest at all.

Your holiday decisions should be joint decisions.

Original poster
PearlHammer · 26/08/2025 16:11

Maddy70 · 26/08/2025 15:54

I have never been ill from a cruise and I go several times ayear

The last cruise I was on, there was a lot of sickness on board. It was everywhere. Everyone coughing and deep from within their chests. There was sickness on board and I became ill. I saw so many people with bad manners.

Norovirus can be common too on ships.

OP posts:
DeLaF · 26/08/2025 16:14

I flew into Malaga three weeks ago and picked up some sort of virus from the plane. Either coronavirus or something very similar.

Had to manage with pain killers, lots of sleep and rest. (in temperatures of 43 degrees).

Maddy70 · 26/08/2025 16:14

PearlHammer · 26/08/2025 16:11

The last cruise I was on, there was a lot of sickness on board. It was everywhere. Everyone coughing and deep from within their chests. There was sickness on board and I became ill. I saw so many people with bad manners.

Norovirus can be common too on ships.

Show quote history

Of course lots of people increases the risks but no more than being in a hotel

Original poster
PearlHammer · 26/08/2025 16:17

DeLaF · 26/08/2025 16:14

I flew into Malaga three weeks ago and picked up some sort of virus from the plane. Either coronavirus or something very similar.

Had to manage with pain killers, lots of sleep and rest. (in temperatures of 43 degrees).

I'm so sorry to read this

OP posts:
Original poster
PearlHammer · 26/08/2025 16:18

Maddy70 · 26/08/2025 16:14

Of course lots of people increases the risks but no more than being in a hotel

Show quote history

I have been away a few times regularly but no cruises but never got ill. It was just that last cruise ship I was on in 2022.

OP posts:
Original poster
PearlHammer · 26/08/2025 16:20

Cruises are just not relaxing for me. I hate them. Usually looking at flying into Europe and then going through airport security and then port security and it's all just too much. Then every day docking somewhere new and going through port security every day. It's just not relaxing. Not to mention just petri dishes for illnesses.

OP posts:
Fitzcarraldo353 · 26/08/2025 16:21

It's academic whether you're more likely to get ill on a cruise or not. You don't want to go on a cruise so your DH needs to hear you and understand that.

I sense you find it hard to say NO OP. You're doing a lot of things you don't want to, like babysitting, and your DH isn't hearing you now either.

Have you explicitly told him 'I don't want to go on a cruise and I will not go on one.'? No negotiation or dancing around it. Just tell him you will not go.

Doyouthinktheyknow · 26/08/2025 16:21

You need to be honest with your DH if you don’t want to go on a cruise.

I love cruising and go on them regularly. Our last cruise there was an outbreak of norovirus but we didn’t get it! It did put me off cruising from Southampton, that, too many sea days and all the children on board even though it was term time. I prefer a fly cruise.

I think illness spreads anywhere there is a lot of people though so resorts the same, it’s a risk you take.

pinkyredrose · 26/08/2025 16:23

Tell him straight, no cruises. Pick a few holidays you like the look of and tell him to pick one.

Also no-one can 'make' you babysit if you don't want to, stand up for yourself or they'll keep on expecting it.

DeLaF · 26/08/2025 16:34

Thanks for your kind words.

Choose a holiday or suggest a couple to your DH. There are no guarantees that you won't be ill.
What do you want to do, sounds like a UK break might be more suitable?

ns87 · 26/08/2025 16:37

It's your holiday too, you need to compromise.

I would also make sure you have stronger boundaries for next year, 'Last Summer I took care of all the children a lot, and I found myself overwhelmed and exhausted, can other options be looked into?'

ginasevern · 26/08/2025 17:23

Fly/cruises can be a bloody hassle and, as you've already got sick on a cruise, I'm not surprised at your trepidation. Tell your DH to compromise. Why does it have to be all about him? Better still, go away without him.

mamagogo1 · 26/08/2025 17:25

More likely to get sick from the plane! It should be a joint choice but getting sick is an odd reason to give