How to stop spending and budget etc

[Monkkkie33]

Payday is Friday and after listing what I have to pay I need to be really strict

I have credit card I need to pay so need to out a chunk on that
My usual bills

And stupidly I had a scrape with another car last week , i was wide in my lane i was stupid i take responsibility fully. No one hurt it wasnt even a bump just a scrape. The person in the other car rang yesterday said theyre going to their garage they use for fixing

So im panicking more now as its upfront money and I assumed hed go through insurance

I am bad for spending. I have 2 young kids and I am part time so our days off I have money to go out etc. Buy activities stuff to do. But I do shop a bit and like to shop for them

I need to stop that little boost I chase from buying them stuff. Their wardrobes are full to the brim. They are lucky have clean clothes and bedrooms with lots of toys upstairs downstairs etc. But I just shop a lot!

I am planning deactivating social media I have as the ads are stuff I look at (next, M&s etc) so make me click the link and browse and want to spend more

But any tips to stop stupid spending please??

My manager did mention a bonus at our half year review next month so that would instantly go to pay some of my debt and im upping my hours over my days im inwork so compressed days and it'll get me about 100 extra a month so that'd help too

I am married and DH is higher earner so he does cover a lot but obviouslt this car issue is mine so need to do that myself as is my credit card

My manager did mention a bonus at our half year review next month so that would instantly go to pay some of my debt and im upping my hours over my days im inwork so compressed days and it'll get me about 100 extra a month so that'd help too

I am married and DH is higher earner so he does cover a lot but obviouslt this car issue is mine so need to do that myself as is my credit card

Well start by going through your insurance for the car scrape. You most certainly do not need to be paying that upfront. The insurance will handle it.

The man said he went to his garage etc and i thought as I was at fault its his choice?? Xx

Sorry I've never had a scrape or anything before so I dont know how to go about everything

1. Go through insurance for the car accident. Insist. He can't make you pay otherwise.
2. Go through all your kids stuff this week and get it on ebay/vinted/fb marketplace.
3. Work out what emotional hole your trying to fill by spending. Otherwise you will send yourself into a low. Do you feel you need to see a doctor? I used to spend to "cheer myself up" turns out I have mild depression and some tablets helped in the short term.
4. Find other things to fill your time that are mostly cheap and cheerful. Park trips and picnics with the kids, home baking, reading, gardening, local walks, nature scavenger hunts, take the kids to take photos of the seasons changing, sheet forts made with bedsheets, the washing line and pegs or garden "camping" I'm sure others will have some better ideas.

I have the same issue but with food. I'm looking for a dopamine fix to cure the boredom of scrolling. Remember that there's other things in life to do.

Very helpful thank you!

We do lots together and the clubs are pre paid for my toddlers so love some extra ideas. I always feel bad staying at home which again is increasing cost by constantly going out

Thanks for first tip I thought I had to pay becsuse it was my fault

I have suffered with anxiety etc in the past. I've been in a bit of a slump for a while and I struggle atm. I have a 3 and 1yo and I find myself at the end of my solo days which are chaotic and busy I'll unwind and want to buy extra. I dont knowbwhy? Is it a stress comedown?? I do stress a lot and panic so much

It definitely sounds like your brain is looking for a way to give you that dopamine hit.

It took me a long time to figure out I had depression and anxiety triggered by the birth of my eldest. Getting some medication is the best thing that's ever happened to me. The mental freedom is immense and so worth it

At 3 and 1 your children will be so easy to entertain cheaply my love. We did lots of walks talking about what we could see, find, touch, colours ect. Tubs of water in the garden with bath toys/watering cans, water painting (paint brushes and pits of water and they paint pictures on the patio/brick walls/fence panels) toys frozen blocks and they use their initiative to break them out.

They are perfectly happy with that sort of thing. You don't need to spend spend spend. Make sure to take drinks and snacks with you from home for everyone and they don't care about clothes at that age either. That's you not them.

Kids this age don’t need anything expensive - take a picnic to the park when the weather is nice, stomp round the park in wellies collecting leaves in the autumn, go to the supermarket and spend time counting the fruits and finding red things and green things when it rains or put a kids yoga video on the tv and try some poses or do some dancing together.

Unsubscribe from everything on SM and email. Take your credit card out of your Wallet (both phone and physical) so it’s only there for emergencies.

Regarding the car - what’s the excess on your insurance? Might be cheaper to go through the guy’s garage (especially as your insurance premium will go up if you claim unless you have protected your ncb)

Thanks all especially for the activity ideas. Im not a creative person so at home I just try to get them to help with house work etc which they actually love ! We like dance parties etc but I do love autumn and we always get some leaves and 'pinecones' my eldest loves all sorts like that and sticks haha

Again social media contributes to my feeling we need to go out to days out big ones constantly as I see others snd compare which is stupid. So thats another reason ill be deactivating

I have been a bit low I think its a slump but I'm very anxious and was going to speak to someone about it as I am constantly worrying

With the car insurance I need to check as DH is the lead and he added me on when I passed a few years ago!

I did Google around and light scratches could be about 150. Its not deep and I have pictures the man was very good he seems lovely and not that he'd try to con me out of money etc so if irs 150 I could probably do it jus have to be tight in september but my working days could be low spend days. Only get essentials (any food kids need milk dog food etc) no actual shopping

Go through your insurance!

I write down everything (even the £1 ‘treat’)that takes my fancy (item, where it’s from and price. Sometimes a link). I review my list just before payday and If I have enough money and still want it I buy it.
Usually I no longer want it.

It’s also useful to consider needs v wants. I want a green cardigan but I don’t need one. I have cardigans.

Shopping your wardrobe or bathroom cabinet. I realised that I seem to collect items and don’t use them. So I either use them or sell them on.

Same for the fridge/freezer/cupboard. Use up items that have been sat there at the back of the cupboard.

Use Olio or too good to go.

Look for face paints or craft materials offered cheaply or free on Facebook.

If selling bits online price them to sell. Just because you paid £45 for a dress doesn’t mean that you will get that back. Stick it on for £5. Take £2 if that’s the only offer.

Find free events- museums, galleries, play groups etc.

Invite friends over for dinner and drinks instead of going out. Hopefully they will repay by having you over.

Same for play dates!

Make saving fun. Challenge yourself to no spend days. How many can you achieve? It might mean being creative but that can be fun.

I’ll think of more but need to go out!

If you go through your insurance will you have to pay an excess and will your premium increase at renewal? Has he given you the cost of repair yet?

Take your payment details off sites where you spend money. Then hide your card (well, not literally hide it, just make it hard for you to impulsively buy something).

Agree with others about free/cheap activities. Challenge yourself to spend as little as possible - make it a game. My top easy activity tip would be to give them blankets/sheet/cushions/chairs and make an indoor den. so much more exciting than just playing on the floor.

Sell your old clothes on Vinted and use the Vinted credit to buy more. That will give you a dopamine hit without increasing your overall outgoings. (Better to not buy more obviously, but it feels like a more virtuous way of spending).

I would guess he's going to his garage because he knows that the damage is going to come in under his excess.

Personally I think it's hard to save money just by trying to spend less. For me, it helps to have a proper budget, then I know if I can afford something. You can use a spreadsheet or an app, set out how much you are planning to spend in each category and then at the end of the month go through your actual spending and see where you were over / under budget. This helps you identify the areas you can save money.

If it helps in solidarity op I will be doing the same in September!

We are consistently £300 into the overdraft every month at the minute but August is an expensive month with older children and the summer holidays. Gone are the days when I could for hoirs entertain with a tub of water and some bubble bath 😂

(that's not to say we are out on big days out all the time but now they want to go for breakfast or swimming or to further afield parks ect with bike tracks/adventure parks which cost at minimum in petrol and parking!)

I also have some new uniform bits I need to buy which cost a sodding fortune 🤦🏼‍♀️

You could ask ChatGPT to create you a list of free activities if you give it loads of info about what you’ve got nearby, what you’ve got already in the house, ages of kids, what you like doing, what you don’t like doing etc. the more info you can give it the better it will get.

You could even ask it to make you a suggested schedule for the next 3 months based around your existing clubs / days off so you have a clear plan for every day!!

Irrelevant as he'll be claiming under the OP's insurance, not his own.

This is a more difficult time of year for free/cheap stuff but depening on where you live, library - including story time, parks, our council run leisure centres have cheap soft plays, free museum, going on a bus (circular route is fine), park, baking, themed carfts, feed the ducks, blackberry picking, collect leaves and make a colleage, play with buckets of water and paint brushes in the garden.

At this age they’re much cheaper to entertain.

I thought that you only claimed on the other driver's policy if you had third party insurance but I could be wrong and can't muster the enthusiasm to check!

You claim on YOUR insurance, who claim back from the other drivers insurance. Both drivers pay excess.

Nope, I've always had fully comp insurance and in all three accidents (none my fault), I've just claimed directly against the third party's insurance and never lost my no claims bonus nor paid any excess. All I've done each time is inform my own insurance firm of the accident and tell them I'd be claiming directly from the third party.

Even if you claim under your own policy and suffer having the pay the excess, you can still reclaim the excess from the third party insurer as an "uninsured" loss.

It's a myth that you have to claim under your own policy!

Nope, you don't. You can claim directly against the third party insurer.

I did not know this! Did they increase your premiums the following year?

@Badbadbunny if the other side contests liability though would that mean you didn't benefit from the legal representation etc?

Well in my cases, the third parties didn't contest liability.

But there's no reason why I couldn't use my own legal cover to defend my position even if I didn't claim through my own insurance company as they're different companies. The legal cover is a paid-for extra from a completely different company.