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Original poster

Those of you who like your siblings - why?

43 replies

Growingmyownberries · 24/08/2025 21:18

Mum of two wonderful little ones, who are at the stage where they think the sun shines out of each other. Presumably I had that stage with my siblings at one time, and it hurts my heart to think my DC might be distant one day.

I have three siblings - if I'm being honest I only like one. We all have very different personalities, but our upbringing also wasn't the most stable and I think that made a difference too.

For those of you who are still close with your siblings into adulthood, is there anything your parents did that helped? 🤞🏻 We make sure they both get individual attention, plenty of 1:1 time, and never compare. Curious/hopeful if there's anything else I can do to make a difference?

OP posts:
tinyspiny · 24/08/2025 22:43

I’m close to both of my older sisters but more so the one that is closest in age to me , we have lots in common so I assume that’s why we get on - horses , like the same bands etc .My husband only has a twin brother and he’d say they were close but they never go out together etc and we don’t socialise as a couple with him and his wife , they just chat on the phone occasionally

ThatNaiceMember · 24/08/2025 22:54

I like mine. We are quite similar but they are much louder and flashier which sometimes causes me to raise an eyebrow or two but not to dislike them 😁 I'm sure they think I'm tight and too quiet sometimes 🤣

LondonLady1980 · 24/08/2025 23:11

Our parents were divorced. We had a very emotional abusive mother, we were absolutely terrified of her, and we were pretty much left to our own devices. I don’t remember us ever really spending any quality time with our mums

As a result my and my sister were never apart, we were each other’s sole company at home, she was the main focus of my life (and vice versa) and we turned to each other for fun and happy times. I suppose our neglected childhood united us together, we pulled each other through. We focused so much on each other because it distracted us from reality.

We are in our mid 40’s now and I still adore her. We are very different people and husband and children aside, she’s my most favourite person in the world.

I am of course not advocating that parents neglect and abuse their children in order to encourage a special bond between siblings, I just wanted to clarify that! Although I’m sure it goes without saying.

But I think if me and my sister hadn’t needed each other so much as children, then we wouldn’t be as close as we are now.

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carpool · 24/08/2025 23:11

I have one sister a couple of years older than me. We are very different people and have different views on all sorts of things but we have always cared about each other. I think this is mostly because my sister is one of the truly nicest people I know. The type who would do anything for anybody. In fact sometimes I think she is a bit too nice and lets people take advantage of her or is it just that I am not as nice as she is!

GreatTheCat · 24/08/2025 23:12

I love my two sisters. I'm the middle one. They both get on but don't really speak often.
One lives abroad and one lives abroad 6 months or the year.

TaborlinTheGreat · 24/08/2025 23:18

No, I don't think it's anything my parents did. Dsis and I didn't get on particularly well as young children (there are 5 years between us), but since she reached teenage years (a looong time ago) we get on great.

Davros · 24/08/2025 23:30

I’m best friends with one and have been as long as I can remember (now in our 60s), neither of us has any contact with the other, the one in the middle

Ihitthetarget · 24/08/2025 23:36

I have a brother who is great, we get on really well as adults, and mostly did as kids apart from a bickering couple of years. I really like him and would want to be friends if I wasn't related, although we live hundreds of miles apart so only see each other about 4-5 weekends per year now.

I'm not sure if it's luck or shaped by our parents. Our parents were great and treated us fairly, but we also have fairly similar personalities.

His wife is lovely and family oriented, but unfortunately my dh isn't, which does make it harder (eg I know dh wouldn't manage family holidays).

Dh is one of 5 and only likes/ sees 1 of them, and that's only once every year or 2. Not sure if due to parenting or not - though his mum is quite a complicated character - I think family just isn't that important to him sadly.

I really hope our dc get on well as adults, but do worry as they are chalk and cheese in personalities, and one is very competitive which can cause problems between them. I suspect it will as adults too.

Matchalattecoco · 24/08/2025 23:39

I honestly don’t know what I’d do without my two sisters (I’m the middle one).
I think throughout our lives from childhood we went through significant hardships together and the shared experiences really bound us together.

My parents did their best and I love them, but they were at times a little problematic, so I definitely don’t think our close relationships is necessarily down to impeccable parenting.

When we were younger me and my sisters would argue, bicker and fight a lot into our teenage years (there was a lot of hormones in the mix) but we’ve always just cared deeply about eachother and had strong bonds.

I’ve noticed we all just have the exact same sense of humour and enjoy winding each other up (especially our parents) so this definitely helps the relationships too and just generally encouraging each other and supporting.

Badger17 · 24/08/2025 23:59

I have a brother and a sister. We had a very comfortable upbringing with parents who had met at 16 and stayed together. It was just about as stable and desirable as you could imagine.

However, the 3 of us are completely different to each other. In fact I’d struggle to find anything we have in common other than we were brought up in the same home.

We haven’t spoken with each other for years, maybe 10 years. I’m not sure I even know where the other 2 live. We literally have no common interests and are completely different characters so we inevitably drifted apart. I often wonder what it would be like to have a close relationship with them. Perhaps if they were different people I would have.

itsnotalwaysthateasy · 25/08/2025 00:24

My sibling got Stockholm syndrome and still hates me.
I infuriate her more when I give no details to my life.

Original poster
Growingmyownberries · 25/08/2025 08:19

Thank you everyone! I've read all the replies and a lot of food for thought in them. It does sound like luck plays a bigger part than I had realized - which takes the pressure off in a way? I would just really love them to be there for each other, even in to adulthood, but I think I have to accept a lot of that's out of my control.

Interesting how many replies mention partners - I think that's very much at play in both mine & my DH's sibling relationships too. Not something I had consciously realized before today!

OP posts:
FoxRedPuppy · 25/08/2025 08:30

If anyone has any suggestions on how to make my two tolerate each other, I’d be open to it. I’m hoping once they are past the teen stage they might get on. But we’ve had a few failed days out recently. I can basically only spend time with them 1 to 1, unless I want to referee constant bickering. Maybe it’s a teen thing (or Ds shouting that he wishes he was an only child 😳)

XelaM · 25/08/2025 11:18

Interesting how many replies mention partners - I think that's very much at play in both mine & my DH's sibling relationships too. Not something I had consciously realized before today!

Actually, come to think of it - my mum is close with her brother and my dad and he are super close mates.

XelaM · 25/08/2025 11:19

FoxRedPuppy · 25/08/2025 08:30

If anyone has any suggestions on how to make my two tolerate each other, I’d be open to it. I’m hoping once they are past the teen stage they might get on. But we’ve had a few failed days out recently. I can basically only spend time with them 1 to 1, unless I want to referee constant bickering. Maybe it’s a teen thing (or Ds shouting that he wishes he was an only child 😳)

In fairness, I didn't get on with my brother until we both became adults 😂

PInkyStarfish · 25/08/2025 11:27

I have two sisters, one older and one younger her and a brother. We are very close, my younger sister is my best friend and we see each other every day via our horses which are at her stables.

We grew up very close and have remained so. We have shared views and interests.

Our parents were very family orientated and very traditional. Lots of board games in the winter and lots of animals all year round that we all cared for.

I think the love of animals is a definite bond that unites us all.

We all get on well with each others partners as well which is important.

Our children have the same dynamic as well, all
goos friends with each other, with step siblings and cousins.

RosieLeaLovesTea · 28/09/2025 21:52

@Badger17 that’s interesting. So you do each keep in contact with you parents individually? But have no direct contact with each other? I’m

RosieLeaLovesTea · 28/09/2025 21:58

Me I am one of three. I’m the oldest. I get one quite well with my youngest sister and she is in the same profession. We both have kids. Me I have DD and DS. She has a DS. My other sister is three years young than me. We have nothing in common. I am quite sure she is on the spectrum and I cannot relate to her at all. We do meet up occasionally to meet with our parents but it’s not that enjoyable. I moved an hour and. 20 mins away whereas I used to live 5 mins away and would never see my sister. This distance is more comfortable for me.

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