Advice around children and rent

[Tiredbutstillgoing]

Trying not to drip feed and name changed because my previous name is pretty outing though I guess our circumstances are also pretty revealing lol.

I have 3 children
Eldest is just leaving full time education but is severely disabled we do not know what they will be entitled to on universal credit and already get pip but will have to contribute a lot of this to their care costs (the social worker is being as helpful as a chocolate tea cup with saying how much this is likely to be but I think it could be as low as £30 ish a week they are left with)
child 2 just got an apprenticeship at 18 will be on apprenticeship min wage £7.55 for awhile but has a full time job from September - they are awful at saving and any money is always spent within hours of getting it. They have had a small job around studying which pays £10 an hour and plan to keep doing that for about 8 hours a week at weekends on top as they enjoy it. Since starting work has paid 25% of earnings to us for savings and nothing towards rent etc it’s paid to us as they don’t trust themselves not to spend it and they have full visibility over what’s in there etc wants to buy a car at some point in the future.
child 3 is still in sixth form about to start year 13 and works variable hours around this is on a decent wage considering their age due to their skill set and is looking to go to university next year. They save min 25% of everything they earn straight into their old trust fund which will mature just before they go to uni and in the last year have put aside a lot more which I’m very grateful for as will be on the lowest student loan level.

Just wondering what people think is fair in terms of contributing toward household costs etc we do not get any benefits except child benefit for the youngest but hubby works full time for an ok wage and I work 2 jobs because our mortgage is so high (we brought a massive house adapted to our eldests needs and downsizing is not an option as he has a physical disability as well). We do not need them to contribute towards the house the only loss has/will be the child benefit but things are tight every month and I really want a fair option for everyone especially as both of the youngest also chip in caring for the eldest due to my husband and I working so many hours (we are both fortunate to have a lot of flexibility about when we work the hours with one of my roles being in a different time zone which helps balance everything.)

Just looking for ideas for fairness :)

Child 1 - can they manage money? Presumably all of their UC/PIP can effectively go to you to manage their life (inc towards household bills).

Child 2 - I suppose you can ask them for some housekeeping, but given they're on the right path with their training etc and probably can’t support themselves just yet on an apprenticeship wage - I’d make that a fairly small sum.

Child 3 - I don’t think it’s reasonable to charge a school child rent to live with their parents.

For your eldest, call citizen advice, they can tell you what he would get on UC. The rest, no I wouldn’t charge them if they aren’t working full time, how are they supposed to save, have a life and pay bills, let them have their financial freedom j til they work full time

I have 3 in their 20s they work full time have never charged them rent. Giving them a chance to save. Make sure you are claiming everything you are entitled to.

Instead of a specific amount what about a percentage.

Pip shouldn't be used towards household bills unless they are higher due to the disability
Personal independence payments are for the individual disabled person to meet the extra costs associated with a long-term health condition or disability.
UC is different and I be think it's fair for OP to use that for general living expenses. She should take advice to make sure she is claiming everything she can.
I never charged my adult children anything but if you feel you have to I think you should only charge the child who is working full.time not the one who is still at school

You can do your own calculation on
Turn2us website for child 1 it will tell you how much he’s likely to get. Pip has nothing to do with how much he’s entitled too, he will obviously get a disabled element on is UC

ds1 care costs - is that for someone to care for him ?

I wouldn’t charge them anything. They’re just starting out in life.

Trying to reply to everyone at once :)

So child 1 will get UC and PIP but because there care needs are really high and they need 24 hour care (most of which my husband and I do but he also has a carer who takes him to a day centre) he wouldn’t be able to manage his own money but social services have completed an assessment and will be taking most of his universal credit and pip towards the care costs - it’s them who have asked about rent payments.

child 2 there only expenditure is clothes after saving 25% they have £980 in disposable income.

child 3 agree about still being at school etc but has saved 7.5k towards uni in the last year as there 25% as the part time job pays more than my full time one!

it does seem fair to charge child 2 something as £980 a month on clothes and makeup is crazy but not sure what and how that would be fair in comparison to child 3 who is still in full time education but there part time role pays more than everyone else and then child 1 who’s income will only be benefits. Myself and partner are not entitled to any benefits etc as our combined income is over the threshold it’s the mortgage that is the killer as it’s gone up so much.