Any advice for someone just starting to think about TTC?

[SoonToBeMissus]

Hoping to start trying over Xmas/New Year. Thank you!

Contrary to what you were told at school, you won’t immediately get pregnant if you have unprotected sex…

It can take a long time to get pregnant even with no health issues, and knowing that is important as otherwise it can be quite a deflating experience.

Buy some folic acid, or pregnancy multivitamins. It wouldn't do any harm to start taking it now.

Look at your lifestyle now to be as healthy as you can be - alcohol, smoking, healthy diet. You can both do this together.

Just enjoy trying for now, once you start. Be aware of your cycle, not everyone has a 28 day cycle and you won't necessarily ovulate on day 14. My cycle was about 35 days long and I ovulated on day 18 (I only know this as we had to get some help from the fertility clinic). So have regular sex during your cycle, not just when you think your ovulating. I would advise against ovulation test sticks initially as it can be anxiety inducing.

Don't waste your monet on expensive pregnancy tests like clear blue digital, tests with pink dye are better.

Good luck!

Honestly it might happen straight away, it might take months. There’s no way of predicting it, but generally most healthy couples will have conceived within about 6 months - a year. TBH most people I know it happened in under 3 months, and others it took much much longer.

Start taking folic acid, and get into shape, because the first trimester you probably won’t want to exercise, so having good fitness now will make a huge difference.

other than that, do everything you want! Go to the cinema, go for fancy meals, go and stay in an adults only hotel with a hot tub and have leisurely breakfast in bed. Read all the books you’ve been putting off.

Drink the wine, eat the food and have fun.

Check your works maternity / paternity policy and make sure you’ve worked out how that will apply, think about what you’d like post baby work to look like and agree it with your partner.

Do any jobs around the house you’ve been putting off!

If you’re still on hormonal contraception like the pill, stop taking it now! Took a long time for my periods/cycle to return to normal after stopping the pill.

Just forget about trying to get pregnant. And have sex every other day or so. If you stress about it then sex becomes a functional act rather than an expression of intimacy. If you’re not pregnant after a year, then it’s time to look at things more closely.

Have an incredible time these next few months. Eat and drink and go to all the amazing restaurants you want to go to. Go away for weekends together. Go on one last big trip (Dh and I went backpacking around India literally the month before we started TTC). Sleep lots. Have lie ins and coffee and read a book in bed until noon. Go visit friends. Go for big nights out with friends. Basically just live your best life doing all the things that won’t be easy once you become a parent.

We had such a fantastic time together in the months before we started TTC (got pregnant 2nd cycle with our first, 1st cycle with 2nd, I was 36). So that we were truly ready to close the door on that chapter of life with no regrets.

I would not worry about pregnancy stuff or vitamins or coming off the pill. Just live your life.

Best advice that I had is that there is no right time to have kids so don’t hold off (if you can bring a child in to a happy stable home of course).

Also, not to be naive pregnancy loss and fertility issues can happen to anyone unfortunately.

Coming at this from a slightly different angle and from reading a lot of threads on here - make sure your partner is ready for this.
Are you an equal partnership - does he pay his way?/do his bit? Are you married?
How will you pay for mat leave? What about childcare?