I only socialise in groups these days as all my one-to-one friends have drifted away

[Holluschickie]

That is where I am. I am quite a social person and I mostly WFH- no option there as my employer is cutting down on work space. I joined a lot of hobby groups in the pandemic to improve my friend circle. I enjoy them all but no one ever has the time to meet away from the group. Meanwhile, my other friends have moved away from London- everyone is doing that- or just gone quiet, or are too busy with jobs or aging parents or health issues or something. DH himself has become quite reclusive as he gets older, so all our couple friends have drifted away too ( not that we had many). We are all in our 50s, so no childcare, but people just don't seem to want to any more.

Anyone else in this situation?

Oh no, it's just me.

I’m the opposite and I really miss socialising in a group. I’m finding the constant 1 to 1 a bit too intense.

But groups are so much easier to find? At least for me in London. It's hard to get to know people in a group, though.

I think peri/post menopause can sometimes mean people don’t have the same energy for social interactions and don’t have much to give to one on one friendships?

I made new friends in my 50s by doing courses. You initially are in a group but the fact you all have a shared interest is a starting point. Gradually you hook up with the people in the group whose company you enjoy the most and, as you go back week after week, a friendship builds.

I'm heading this way for a few similar reasons.

I've recently been starting to look at and think about groups I want to join and about going out more in London.

Do you think its easier to take a friendship out of a group to 1.1 if the group is more local to you?

Do you think long term you'll tire of not having so many 1.1 relationships?

Do you think if you tried to organise a group meetup of the group that people would come? Social pressure of other people saying yes? I'm thinking like say ' let's have a Christmas soiree of nibbles at mine' or something?

Do you think it depends on the type of group? For example if you are doing a course, you might click with a couple of people as you are all really intently engaged in something. If it's a group based around, I don't know, playing a game or a sport, then the nature of the group is different and lends itself more to surface interactions?

I'm quite good at getting to know people in a group but I then instantly forget about them when I'm not in the group 😂