Annoyed with my parents

[MikeL1993]

My son is 14 months old and in that time my parents had looked after him three times when me and my gf asked if they could look after him whilst we went out. I got the impression they really don’t want to look after him so I hadn’t asked since November until yesterday.

Months ago my friend invited me into a box to watch football with him and because my gf works one weekend day a week I knew child care could be an issue so I mentioned it to my mum back in June and she said yes she’ll have our son. Fast forward to two weeks ago and my gf was put down to work yesterday so I checked with my parents they were still okay to have our son and they said yes.

I picked my son up yesterday evening and asked where they’d taken him and they said they went fireplace shopping with my older sister and brother-in-law, when I asked when this was arranged they said yesterday morning. Now maybe I’m overreacting here but before my son came along and me and my gf asked my parents if they wanted to do anything but they were child minding my nephew they’d say sorry they can’t as they had him but when it comes to my son they’ll take him on a boring day out.

My parents don’t do a lot with my son as it is but then when they have the opportunity to take him out they don’t take him anywhere nice which is in complete contrast to what they did do and still do with my nephew. I’m so annoyed because I feel like they’re treating my son differently.

Am I right to be annoyed or am I overreacting?

Over reaction! All that stimulation of fake lights in the fire places and fire doors being opened. All the accessories to be looked at fire side brushes. Not to mention being lulled to sleep while a sales person talks about heat efficiency and updrafts. Perfect. You worried he’s going to be headhunted as a chimney sweep or something?

A 14 month old was taken out to see new things in a shop - sounds like a fine day out? At that age new sights and sounds is going to get their synapses going, whether it’s a interiors shop or a zoo.
I can see how it seems unfair, but does it reflect on your own relationship with your parents? Maybe next time you could have a discussion about how you know that your nephew enjoyed doing xyz with them and would they consider doing the same with your son? Building a good relationship with all their grandchildren should hopefully be what they want.
However: my DH’s parents hated his ex wife and consequently had not much of a relationship with his first two kids. They loved (one has passed) me so they know my kids much better, though they’ve never taken care of any of their grandkids!

Grandparent favouritism can be very hurtful and I think that is the real issue here. Sometimes there may be reasons for it as others have said, other times it’s literally just favouritism and it’s a horrible feeling. In the long term though, they are the ones who miss out.

Sorry OP, I think you’re over reacting here. I am that babysitting grandmother. Sometimes you feel like schlepping round an aquarium, sometimes you don’t.

You say yourself you don’t ask. So they haven’t let you down or turned you down.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Build relationship, appreciate the benefits and just focus on your family.

Yeah you’re being a bit precious. He’s 14 months. He won’t care where he was and he certainly won’t remember.