Periods

[CatsnCoffee]

My DDs are 16 and 23. Their generation’s attitude to and understanding of all things menstrual is SO different from mine.
A couple of years ago, when DD (23) was struggling with nighttime leaking, I casually suggested she use a pad as well as tampon for double protection. She was horrified! Why would I advise her to risk having Toxic Shock Syndrome? Apparently, girls are told not to use tampons at night because of this danger.
She and her sister talk very openly about periods and the 16yr old in particular, isn’t at all embarrassed discussing them with her DB or DF. I think is very positive, but I’m on the fence about period trackers. I’ve heard how they are notorious for being used for data harvesting, but it’s not only that. Since having a tracker app,16 yr old DD has been sharing such information as ‘I’m ovulating tomorrow’, ‘the tracker says I’ll be happy tomorrow’ (followed next day with ‘the tracker was right;I am happy today’).
When I said I’d never tracked my own cycle nor knew when I was ovulating they looked at me like I was an irresponsible fool. Anyway, I’ve managed to pass through menopause and out the other side quite unremarkably after having 5 children so I feel a bit patronised by their attitude. I’m not even sure this level of analysis of your cycle is helpful or healthy. What do you think?

YABU. Knowing your cycles and understanding the impact on your body and mental state is important. Women's health has been ignored and swept under the carpet for far too long so your daughters making the effort and talking about it sounds fantastic.

I personally hate how so many pads are now perfumed and tampons are made from bleached materials treated with strong chemicals. It should be organic, perfume free, and women shouldn't have to put up with perfumed, thrush inducing pads

YABU. Knowing your cycles and understanding the impact on your body and mental state is important.
This! Having no idea about this destroyed my teenage years and time at uni. Looking back, I'm 99.9% sure I have/had PMDD. I wasn't allowed painkillers as I was just making a fuss, everyone has periods, shut up get on with it attitude. I'm absolutely explaining to my DD about mental health, ovulation, tracking etc.
About the toxic shock, pretty sure we were told the same thing when I was a young teenager, everyone I knew ignored it anyway. As an adult, I've had difficulty following my physio's advice - wear a tampon even if I don't have my period to help with a prolapse when doing sport. I feel like I'm being irresponsible and will keel over and die every time 😂

YABU, it's great that they understand their bodies and cycles. We are affected by our hormones so much, while men go through life on a pretty even keel - it's very useful to understand what's going on. Of course obsessing over it isn't sensible, but it doesn't sound like they are.

I'm 43 so had no idea about this kind of thing when I was growing up, but have gained the knowledge while still menstruating. It does help to understand which days you'll likely feel your best, and which days you might not. Why you might have sore boobs or ovulation pain on different days. And not tracking your cycle seems a bit odd - how did you know when you were due? Was it a surprise every time? I have at least tracked my cycle in my diary since I was in my teens, it's just in an app now because I don't use a paper diary nowadays.

It's also fantastic they're open about it. I remember being desperately embarrassed to open a pad in the girls bathroom at school. Why?! It's something almost all women deal with for a significant portion of their lives - it's mad it used to be so shameful to talk about.

Another YABU from me.

I read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" at the age of 33 when I started trying for a baby and immediately started kicking myself for not knowing all this stuff 20 years ago when I started my periods.

The more young women understand about their bodies and their menstrual cycles, the better.

@MissScarletInTheBallroom yes, I read that after a recommendation on here. Do you think it's suitable for a young teenager though? I seem to remember it's geared towards how to get pregnant. Or am I just thinking that because that's when I read it?

I personally hate how so many pads are now perfumed and tampons are made from bleached materials treated with strong chemicals. It should be organic, perfume free, and women shouldn't have to put up with perfumed, thrush inducing pads.

I’d thought more & more women today would be using period pants & cloth pads.

I’ve finished, hopefully, but the washables are so much comfier as well as being much more eco-friendly.

For a young teenager I would recommend "My Period" by Milli Hill.

I mostly agree with Pp - really important to know your cycle how it affects you, and environmentally better to use other resources. Was the ‘I’ll be halo’ remake based on their recognition of their cycles impact rather than ‘an instruction’ from the tracker? Although obv their Hormones aren’t the only thing affecting emotions!

however it’s worth chatting to them about not using trackers for contraception and making sure they’re not reliant on them as there seems to be a trend for that

Neither of my 20’s DD’s use Tampax, they only use pads. At their age I was Tampax all the way!

I think tracking is great as long as its not all consuming. Young women tracking from the get go will know themselves well enough to know quite quickly whether a type of contraception suits them, or whether its causing issues. It's a way of having a symptom diary and evidence if there are ongoing issues that need referrals for things like possible endo. I'd also reckon it's quite helpful with the age of first time mothers trending upwards. Some people will notice issues that could affect their fertility quite early on and be in a better position once they're ready to try for a baby.
A lot of the newer, reusable resources are far better as well. I think it's really nice people are open enough nowadays to share recommendations and advice on better products with their friends!

I’ve never had to worry about fertility or contraception (lesbian, childfree) but it’s always been useful to have the reminder of when I’m due & more recently, to recognise perimenopause by seeing them become more irregular.

I used them from about 16, but had to buy them myself. My mother said, ‘I didn’t think you could use those until you were married.’ 😂

I thought you could use a tampon for up to 8 hours, and you're meant to sleep for 8 hours, so...

Has either of them tried a menstrual cup? I found that the best thing against leakage.

Natracre or Yoni pads are unperfumed, though not as widely available as the smelly brands.

I tracked my periods from the very first one, which means 40 years. Still not quite menopausal...

I think it’s great that periods are no longer taboo and that girls feel comfortable to talk about them openly.
My 11 year old DS said very nonchalantly the other day that a girl in his class didn’t go swimming because she was on her period. And I overheard our 15year old niece telling him ‘not to grow up to be one of those boys who is mean to a girl because of her period’ 😂

And anything that helps girls /women understand their bodies is a good thing imo. I’ve always found those apps really helpful.

And agree with PP. I wish they’d leave out the perfume and make pads that don’t give me thrush and a rash.

Tracking my cycle as a younger female was essential so I was prepared for horrendous period pain and exceptionally heavy flow. I too think it’s marvellous how open younger people are about menstruating. My dd’s will happily talk to their Df about them. I never would have done this.

@BillyNoProblems This is a Chat, not an AIBU. I agree with what you’re saying. If you read my post, I said I’m not sure what I think and open to others’ thoughts.