Fair rent

[OneRealOchreHiker]

So DD is leaving home to move in with partner who owns (mortgaged) flat and has agreed to pay £500 per month rent. This will be more than 50% of the bills so will effectively be helping towards the mortgage. DD says that’s how much it would cost to rent a room in that area so it’s fair, but I feel like 50% of the bills would be fairer. What do other people think?

So you think she should live rent free because her boyfriend is paying a mortgage?

While they are still young and not fully committed to each other, it is reasonable for the one who is buying a property to be able to fully protect their assets, but that shouldn’t mean they have to provide a free rent to someone they’re supposed to be in an equal relationship with.

£500 a month for rent and bills contribution is a reasonable amount.

No, it would not be right for her to pay half of ‘bills only’ when the biggest bill anyone has is housing.

If your daughter’s partner was taking in a lodger, the lodger’s rent would be contributing to the total cost of running the household which includes mortgage and bills. This set up is analogous to that.

In any event they are grown ups. If they are happy with this set up let them be

Seems like a very fair arrangement to me.

Thank you, I wouldn’t dream of getting involved as nothing to do with me.

In the event they split up, is there no risk to the partner losing part of their property to my daughter by her paying some mortgage?

If it was the other way round, and your DD had a partner move into her mortgaged property, would you be happy he lived for free?

£500 to cover council tax, utilities, I presume Internet, wear and tear... sounds decent and fair.

In the event they split up, is there no risk to the partner losing part of their property to my daughter by her paying some mortgage?

Not if what she pays is considered to be a fair contribution to living expenses and she doesn’t do anything vindictive. He would be well advised to protect himself properly though.

I think something along the lines of £400 all in or simply 50% of the bills and that’s it.

The part about being equal is interesting as the partner out earns my DD by about £10k currently, and would mean that DD will have less disposable income than her partner, which could create an imbalance.

It’s not analogous to being a lodger, as presumably, she won’t get her own room. I do think that she needs to contribute towards wear and tear of the property, as well as half the bills, but she shouldn’t be charged the same as a lodger.

I think you misunderstand my point. What I was trying to say is that a sum of money paid to stay in a property will inevitably go in part towards the mortgage costs of its owner, not limited to bills.

In respect of the partner and protecting his property he would be well advised to look into a cohabitation agreement which could expressly state that by paying “rent” the OP’s daughter would not have any claim on the property in the event of a relationship breakdown

Not necessarily. What I’m saying is that a sum of money should go towards wear and tear (upkeep) of the property, not towards the mortgage. Stuff like carpets, repairs etc. If she is contributing towards the mortgage then she should be entitled to a share of the property.

She is paying a sum of money to her partner who can apply it towards anything he likes (including the mortgage if he chooses). That is not quite the same as saying she is paying towards the mortgage. Acquiring property rights is not as straightforward as you may think especially for unmarried couples. But a cohabitation agreement can ensure everyone knows where they stand at the outset.

OP said she’s paying the equivalent of what it would cost to rent a room in the area. I think that’s unfair because she’s not getting her own room. What I’m saying is that she should be paying less than what a lodger would pay.

The how thing is an imbalance at the moment because the DP has the asset of a home. The equal disposable income is more relevant for couple who are married and are renting or bought a property together.

I think it’s this that is making me uncomfortable. She’s paying for a room share without getting a whole room. If it was the other way around I would suggest to ask for 50% of the bills only. Maintenance and mortgage would be all hers, maybe that isn’t fair to her though 🤷‍♀️

If she were renting independently and paying her own bills, she would have even less disposable income.

They are moving in together. This does not mean they have made a life long commitment to each other. If thy want to do that they will have to marry/form a civil partnership.

She should be added to the mortgage or if not, pay for just bills and food

But then she'd have to be added to the deeds, and why should she? It's not her house.

If he's charging rent on top of bills and uses it to pay his mortgage, I would keep my girls home and they can save all that money, see boyfriend evenings and find a better one, who will treat her as marriage material.

“marriage material”? Seriously?

Yes, seriously. I've married two daughters successfully to fine men in this country. Noone fucked up and used or abused financially as this young lady

Although during the discussions it can be framed that the sum is “half the mortgage” unless her direct deposit is to the mortgage provider the reality is it just the cost of living/sharing the flat.
However paying to share a bed doesn’t sit well with me. Nor does exchanging sexual relations in exchange for market rent.
Yes she should pay something but maybe a different make up half bills and food plus a little something for convenience.

I’d like to think those young women made their own mind up but hey ho