Got together with someone from our friendship group.

[Nookfoot]

It was what I used to call our little band of waifs and strays. All from very different backgrounds with one interest in common. A mix of men and women, one couple, one married man who's wife doesn't join us. All slightly eccentric or not quite fitting in with other groups. They were an absolute godsend to me during a difficult time. We have days out, go to concerts, play sport, have weekends away.

From time to time another stray would be brought into the group (as I was). This is one of the things I love about the group, they are very accepting and as long as people are kind and honest they're welcome, despite their quirks.

A year ago a new man started coming on our outings. He has some quirks and it took a while but he's really grown on me and we've been seeing each other for 6 months. It's all good.

We continue to do things with the group, but every now and again there'll be a "where's our invite" dig because we've been to see or do something just the two of us.

I understand it's changed the dynamic of the group, but surely it's not unreasonable to sometimes go out as a couple, even if it's something the group would have enjoyed?

Is the group doomed, or can things continue despite the change?

Do you mean a hobby group or is this a WhatsApp group?

I think your post is a bit mad. Surely two group members getting into a relationship isn’t going to ‘doom’ any group, unless you were the only one who ever instigated things and stopped?

It’s when you break up that the real ructions start, when one of you starts boffing a new ‘waif and stray’ and spending group outings spooning, while the other festers…

It doesn't have to ruin anything. Anyone who gets offended at a couple occasionally doing things together instead of en masse within a friendship group really needs to grow up.

I'd just reply, 'We were on a date,' if anyone asks again. But they may have just been bantering. As long as the usual range of activities carries on, why would anyone mind?

Neither. It's people I know in real life through a hobby, but the group is just a friendship group, it was never about the hobby, just that that's how we all know each other. I've known some of them for a decade or more.

If they know you're a couple are they just doing a little joke which doesn't come across well in text, ornos it said to your face in a serious manner?

A bit of both. I think, particularly, the woman in the married couple, who was instrumental in the "adoption" of both of us feels she's lost her friends. Maybe she feels less needed/or less centre of attention and I was unaware of that dynamic before.

Something has definitely changed in the group dynamic.

I find people are never thinking about us as much as we think they are…which is sometimes hurtful to the ego but generally a good thing.