Would you go back to work FT?

[PartTimeQ]

I went PT after my first child was born. I have been PT (3 days per week) ever since and I haven't ever wanted to go back to FT TBH. I am obviously lucky we can afford it, and I like the work/life balance it offers. DH is happy with the arrangement. We have 2 DC.

I am not the best "housewife" (I struggle with ADHD) but two days a week at home really helps keep on top of things and it's nice that the children don't need to go to wraparound 5 day a week and get time after school two days to do things together or just chill after school. I don't do really much specifically for me on my days off, mainly housework and life admin, food shop, meal planning.etc. I do occasionally go for lunch with a friend or see my parents. But mainly I do stuff to support the family in some way. Which seems fair as DH is working and the main breadwinner by a significant margin.

But recently with the cost of living I keep thinking perhaps it is selfish of my not to go back to work FT. We are financially OK but we could be much better off if I was working FT, we could save more, not scrimp for annual holiday, etc.

Maybe worth adding, so as not to drip feed - I don't really enjoy my job a great deal. I am a manager and honestly not sure I am very good at it, it has caused me a lot of angst since I took a management role a few years ago and I often regret taking the role. So at times working PT has been a blessing as the thought of doing my job FT is not something I relish at all. Although I wonder if working FT might help as I may not be so stressed with work trying to squeeze everything into 3 days. My employer is a good one to work for in a lot of ways and I have a very good pension, so I don't really want to leave. I really like the people too. I am keeping an eye out for other roles in the business that might be more enjoyable and would take me away from people management (although would likely mean a pay cut and then I might have no choice but to go back FT, not to mention not many depts really want a part timer!). But in the meantime I am stuck where I am.

Other things to consider - wraparound care at DC school is a nightmare. There are not enough spaces for everyone who wants them so it causes parents problems each term as often people don't get all the slots they need. So only needing wraparound 3 days is beneficial in this regard. This coming term we don't have the full hours we need every week as it is, but we can juggle between us. And then there's the additional cost of course, even if I am earning more.

I feel working PT is a privilege I am lucky to have. I don't know if I want to give it up (and I suspect if I went back FT and changed my mind it would be harder to go back the other way!). But equally more money is a very tempting prospect.

Pros and cons on both sides so I am stuck. I thought Mumsnet hive mind might be able to give me different perspectives to help me decide the best course of action.

Thank you.

You don’t say how old your children are but presumably primary aged? I found at that stage working 3 days gave me the flexibility to cover sickness and attend the school events etc that are part of primary school.

I went full time when my youngest was in P7 and found it still a bit of a juggle both at home and at work. It’s easing now he’s in high school but if I had my time again I’d have held off till they were both out of primary. I found that increasing my hours didn’t result in a huge increase in money because I tipped into a higher tax bracket, I needed a cleaner to fill in the gap at home and after school care costs, it wasn’t worth the extra stress at home.

i think that whatever decision we make about working patterns there is always a compromise one way or another. I declare a bias having always been a working mum…. so here goes… My view is that your role would probably be easier and possibly more fulfilling with more hours - you don’t mention any job share etc so I bet your actual job is nearer FT rather than PT? I would also consider the impact of PT work on your pension. I’m in my fifties now and it is a reality that many PT/SAHM friends are now understanding that they just can’t afford to even think about retiring, and their partners’ pensions are not enough. You don’t say how old your DC are, and I can understand how the balance of 3 days is appealing (and btw, not selfish at all - quite the opposite), but the long term financial impact is real and I’d really think about what it would mean for your mortgage and your retirement and all of your future financial security - even if this feels a long way off. Good luck OP, it can feel like such a difficult decision, and like I said, there is always compromise whichever way we go.

Thank you @Jellycatspyjamas.

Yes DC are both in primary. Three years before the eldest is moving up to secondary.

The initial sums I did made it seem like it would be worthwhile from a financial perspective, but I need to do them properly with all the info.

Even so I am not sure the financial side outweighs the PT benefits.

That's a good point about pension. I am not particularly clued up on such things TBH, I probably should be. I have a final salary pension and I have been with my employer 20 years. I definitely need to think a bit more about the longer term implications of being PT in this regard.

I don't job share. I work 3 days and try not to work outside of those days, although go through phases where I do work a bit on my off days, but try to limit it. The three days I work are full-on. I always work late, and don't really take lunch. Sometimes work from home in the evenings, but again try not to do this all the time. I have three direct reports and 15 indirect. It's definitely a lot!

This is what happened to me after having my girls. I went back 4 days but ended up working pretty much full time hours so I did compressed until both DDs were at school then I went FT. I resented not being paid for the job I was doing tbh! Is there a compromise where you could go to five days a week but finish early to enable you to be around for DC after school? So maybe 9-3.30pm would be 30 hours a week (with the mandatory 1/2 hour for lunch). Or three days 8.30am-6pm (which it sounds like you already do and then some!) and then two days 10-2 to fit around school? That would be 32ish hours…..?

No Brainer

Go full time OP.

Enjoy the time with your kids and save yourself the hassle! If you do suddenly need the £ then do it. Don’t burn yourself out yet. Stick with it PT even if for the pension.