Lonely WFH / worn out going to office…

[Overnightfloats]

Until 2020, I worked full time in the office, some job with 45 mins commute each way…

For the last 5 years, I am 99% home based. It has been fantastic in terms of having more time to exercise, cook earlier in the evening and generally small life stuff is easier. But I get lonely, even with multiple meetings per day. I pounce on DH when he comes home when he wants to decompress, he works long hours.

I have an option of going to the office 20 mins away, it’s not the nicest environment but functional with nice free coffee. But the good company I crave when WFH just is not there, people gossip, moan, it’s quite negative. Before 2020, we just buzzed away at hour jobs in comfortable companionship.

It seems like a good solution to break up a week and go to office for a day but by midday I usually regret coming.

I just wondered in anyone else feels like this and has found a good balance?

nah I love wfh, even though I also live alone! I'm fine with very little company 😁
But I appreciate if you are more of an extrovert it could get you down.

Can you try organising with the less moany colleagues/ones you get on with best one day a week you'll all try to be in rather than leaving it up to chance who is in?
Do you have any friends who also wfh, could suggest alternating at each others houses?
Does the type of work you do allow you to work in a pub/library/coffee shop/co-working space? You can buy screen protectors that stop people seeing what's on your screen.

Go out and do something on your lunch break, even if just a quick walk round the park/trip to the shops where you can have a quick 'lovely day isn't it' or chat to the cashier, ring your mum/mate/DH so you're not going 8hrs without speaking to anyone? Or if you can take longer breaks again meet with a friend or go to the gym etc?

My New Year’s resolution was to stop working from home and commit to going in full time. My work life was bleeding into my personal life and I wasn’t taking proper breaks and was eating far too much because it was just so handy. I reclaimed my dining room and turned off work email on my phone. I now go in Monday to Friday 9am-5pm. It has made a huge difference to my mental health and productivity. My work now takes 37 hours a week instead of about 45, I decompress on the drive home, and I’ve lost about a stone. Fuel bills are down, and I don’t find myself responding to 3am emails anymore. In your shoes I’d persevere. You might just be picking the wrong days.

Is it time to think about another job? I wasn’t thrilled when we all went back to the office post covid - I enjoyed more exercise time, not spending time commuting etc. But, after a while it was lonely and isolating. I now go in three or four days a week, but my office is busy, everyone is doing the same, and I get on well with my colleagues. I am struggling with being motivated to exercise after the commute though! I think you need to go in at least three days a week to get into the rhythm of it.

I can feel similar but have found the balance is to book office days when I have bigger meetings. That way it feels productive, I'm less around people who moan and I treat myself to a nice coffee or lunch.

I go in once every 2 weeks or so - should also say I have a reasonable adjustment for a long term health condition so I don't have to go in at all.

Me! I feel really lonely wfh, but have to go into the offce 2 days a week because that's the policy. Technically this should be a great balance, but the problem is I have my own office (I'm really lucky to have this as they've been shutting buildings everywhere) so often the most contact I'll have with people is saying hi to someone I don't know in the corridor. If I am at another site in a shared office the day is filled with listening to others on Teams calls, or being on Teams calls myself. That's why I get so pissed off when people talk about the importance of being with colleagues and collaboration - I guess they don't work in the type of environment that I do!

I understand this.

Youre right - Prior to covid we had comfortable companionship. Now I'm in the office a couple of days a week and we sit in silence.

On my WFH days, the only thing that gets me through is having the radio on and then getting out in the evening.

But in the office I am even more lonely than when I am at home!

I empathise.
My office is only 15 mins away and a really nice environment to work in, but as my team is remote, it's rare that I see any colleagues I know to chat to. I go in & come home without really speaking to anyone except a few hellos & it's a bit lonely.

I have started a volunteering role after work for an hour a week & I try to meet a friend for a lunchtime walk one of the days, which helps a lot. I also gave a PT who comes to the house for an hour & we chat the whole time.

TLDR: I've tried to find other sources of social contact and it helps.

Youre right - Prior to covid we had comfortable companionship. Now I'm in the office a couple of days a week and we sit in silence.
@Imperfectpolly
This is exactly how my office is. Either people are in Teams meetings or they are sitting with headphones listening to music and there is no office chat.
You don’t want to disturb someone because you don’t know if they are in a meeting when they have headphones on.
And why everyone shouts when they have headphones on in a Teams meeting I do not know.