Great questions - the "should I get diagnosed?" dilemma is something many of my clients grapple with. There's no single right answer, as it depends on your personal circumstances and what you're hoping to gain.
What a formal diagnosis can provide:
Access to medication - This is often the main practical reason people pursue diagnosis. ADHD medications (stimulants like methylphenidate/Elvanse or non-stimulants like atomoxetine) can be genuinely life-changing for some people. However, they're not magic pills - they work best alongside strategies and support.
Workplace adjustments - Under the Equality Act 2010, a formal diagnosis means you're legally entitled to reasonable adjustments at work. This might include flexible working, additional support, or accommodations around deadlines and workload. It can also include Access to Work including funding for things like coaching.
Educational support - If you're studying, you can access Disabled Students' Allowance (DSA) for additional support, extra time in exams, assistive technology, etc.
Self-understanding and validation - For many people, having it "on paper" helps combat that internal voice saying "maybe I'm just making excuses" or "perhaps I'm just lazy." It can be deeply validating.
Framework for support - A diagnosis gives you and any professionals working with you a clear framework for understanding your challenges and implementing appropriate strategies.
About disclosure:
You're not legally required to disclose a diagnosis to employers or insurance companies unless specifically asked on application forms. However:
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Employment: You don't have to tell your employer, but you'll need to if you want reasonable adjustments
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Driving: ADHD doesn't automatically affect your license, but you must inform DVLA if your symptoms impair your driving ability
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Insurance: You should declare it on some insurance applications if asked directly (travel, life insurance may ask about mental health conditions)
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DBS checks: Mental health diagnoses don't appear on DBS checks
The diagnosis journey:
Private route (what most people choose due to NHS waits):
- Cost: £500-£1200+ depending on provider
- Timeframe: Usually 4-12 weeks from booking to assessment
- Then: If you want NHS to take over prescribing, expect 6-12 months for "shared care" arrangements (though this varies hugely by area)
NHS route:
- Cost: Free
- Timeframe: Currently 2-5 years in many areas (yes, really)
- Right to Choose: You can use Right to Choose to access private providers funded by NHS - this can reduce waits to 3-6 months
About medication:
Many people find medication helpful, particularly for:
- Focus and concentration
- Task initiation (that "getting started" barrier)
- Working memory
- Emotional regulation
- Reducing mental restlessness
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However, it's very individual. Some people find it transformative, others find the side effects outweigh benefits, and some find it helps but only as part of a broader strategy including coaching, therapy, and lifestyle adjustments.
The coaching perspective:
As an ADHD coach, I work with both diagnosed and undiagnosed clients. Honestly, much of the practical support - strategies, systems, understanding your brain - doesn't require a formal diagnosis. However, medication access and legal protections do.
My suggestion:
Given your therapist's confidence and that you're recognising the traits yourself, consider:
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What would change for you? Are you struggling at work and need adjustments? Would medication potentially help? Do you need that validation? Or are you managing okay with self-awareness and strategies?
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Cost vs benefit - Private diagnosis costs £500-£1200. Is that investment worth it for what you'd gain?
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You can always do it later - If you're managing reasonably well with strategies and don't need medication right now, you can pursue diagnosis if circumstances change.
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For the autism side:
Adult autism diagnosis can be even harder to access (longer NHS waits, fewer private providers). The benefits are similar - workplace adjustments, self-understanding, framework for support - but there's currently no medication specific to autism itself.
Bottom line:
There's no "should" here. Some people find enormous relief and practical benefit from formal diagnosis. Others feel the self-knowledge from their therapist is sufficient. Both are valid.
If you're leaning towards diagnosis, I'd suggest starting with ADHD (quicker, cheaper, medication access) and considering autism assessment later if needed.
Best of luck!