Something missing, single life?

[Kelamo]

Been with dh for 20 years. 2 young children together. Big house, he earns really good money, I work part time.
Basically, we’ve drifted apart, I hate how he speak to the kids and shouts if they make a mess. He’s a good dad but think he’s Autistic and he just can’t deal with certain situations. He’s not violent or anything but he just goes from 0-100 and I feel like I’ve got 3 kids and not 2 at times. I’m making him out to be really bad but he’s actually a really good person and we make a great team but I feel like we’re more like colleagues and friends.
Sex life was amazing before dh, with him it’s never matched up. There’s no passion. I feel like I’m done with our relationship. For over 10 years I’ve been telling him what I need and making all the effort. I’ve actually questioned before if he might even be gay. He’s hardly ever interested in sex. I’ve never experienced this from a man. I’m approaching 40 and kind of feel like it’s now or never to decide.

id be giving up a decent life / house for me and my kids (money wise). I don’t have a big income. Would I be happier not having the stress of worrying about money but no passion /sex life for the rest of my life or would I be happier to go through the stress of a breakup, buy a smaller house and not be able to do as much?
Is the grass greener for a single life?

Not a sure thing you’ll have passion and a sex life once you’re skint either

Could you speak to him and ask for more .
My ex was autistic and he was the same . The sex was never there . Any form of intimacy was missing . He wouldn’t even sit by me on the sofa . It’s quite lonely .
Now I’m single and still getting none of the above . The dating scene isn’t what it used to be . It’s a weird world out there . If you’re happy in other areas and you’re financially secure I wouldn’t put all my eggs in one basket without checking the basket at home first .

Spoken to him about it so many times over the years. I’ve tried to spice it up etc etc. it’s just not there from his side. He’s quite a stressy person aswell. It’s like walking on eggshells around him all the time, I can’t relax. It’s not just about the sex.

Break free
you will never look back

Try marriage therapy first?

If you split, life will be much harder (in the short term at least) and there are no guarantees you'll meet anyone else (read the horror story threads about online dating for a glimpse into what being single is actually like).

So yeah. End your marriage if you like the idea of being broke, lonely and with zero emotional intimacy. But don't leave expecting a hot sizzling romance to be waiting for you.

Thanks everyone. Turns out my Mum and Dad have noticed how he’s been for quite a few months and could see I’ve not been happy. Feel
like I’ve had a realisation the last few days about it all and I’m going to end it once all my ducks are in a row. It’s not even about meeting anyone else to be honest now, i think id be happier on my own.

Feels like there's some really awful advice on this thread! Having a big house and enough money cannot make you happy if you're living in a lonely relationship. Happiness single is much more important than just having a token someone in the house with you.