Insomnia- do people believe you when you say you didn’t sleep at all last night?

[maimeo]

Just that, really. It’s 5.30 am now and I’m irritated with myself for resorting to reading Mumsnet as I generally keep off screens during the night. I’ve been awake since turning off light at 11.30. Wide awake. Can put it down tonight to alcohol at dinner party. But my point is, most people look at me disbelievingly when I say I got no sleep, because I slap on the make up next day and power on through till bedtime again. No naps as advised by good sleep hygiene. It is possible for me to manage, and I can go four or five nights on very very little sleep, but I get the impression that friends don’t really believe it!! I do feel permanently knackered and worry about my health.🥴

No they don’t believe it, absolutely no sleep night after night is something people think we’re talking rubbish about.

my anxiety is through the roof atm and because Am not sleeping it’s making it so much worse.

Yes I don’t think people do believe it. I’m really sorry.

I've had about 20 minutes sleep, most nights I can drop off, but can't stay asleep.
No, people don't believe you.
DP has competitive insomnia, but when I point out I've heard him snoring all night he shuts up 😄
After about a week of this I usually get a decent sleep of about 5 hours and then the cycle starts again.

Yes a few nights is quite unbelievable for the majority

Yes I suffer with insomnia and know a lot of people who do.

I feel like sleep is my dirty secret! I have ADHD and I end up pulling all nighters to finish things at work. I've done it more times than I care to remember in last 15 years. I've done major presentations on no sleep at all. Never told a soul. A good one for insomnia sometimes is to go to bed ludicrously early like 8-9, as prime hours for sleeping are 10-2am, and then expect to wake at around 2-3 and just start the day then.

I find the only thing to knock the cycle is Sleeping tablets. And fortunately they do work for me. Just the cheap chemist brand ones. Dyhydrochloride.

I did read the book Why We Sleep once, and tried for about 2 weeks. I was doing really well then I started CBT for sleep that I'd been waiting for. Stupid mansplainer told me the book was rubbish and I should do it his way, I got really confused as to whether I was overthinking sleep and abandoned the books advice but his method didn't really work either. So I'm going to read the book again and have another attempt at sorting my sleep out. There's loads of terrifying stats about why not sleeping is bad. Also what to do about it.

I sometimes take promethazine which GP gave me, it's a drowsy anti histamine. Does make me groggy next day though.

My DH will claim he’s been awake all night long when he’s woken me with snoring.

We’ve just come off a 14 hour flight. He told me he hadn’t slept, but at one point I had leaned over his privacy shutters to chat to him and he was fast asleep, so with him there’s an element of nonsense in the ‘awake all night’ stories………

How do you know you didn't sleep all night? I know I'm awake for some of the night sometimes but have no idea how long I was asleep.

I believe you as a fellow insomniac. Others (including those close to me) don't and I find it a bit gaslighting tbh.

I’m similar. I drop off to sleep pretty much straight away but, after about an hour or so, I’m wide awake and, more often than not, that’s it for the night. Occasionally, I might drop off again for another hour later on but I rarely sleep more than a couple of hours a night and have been like this for several years. I now just ignore the scepticism !

I probably wouldn't. I might believe you have insomnia but I can't believe you wouldn't have dozed off for 5 minutes or similar.

But that's because I start shutting down my body about 7pm, the yawns start. Then at 8 my eyes get gritty and my legs start getting restless. If I can stay up past 9pm when I'm not on holiday, it's a miracle. A bit of doom scrolling and a page of book till about 9.30 and I'm in a coma for 6hrs. Then doze on and off till the alarm at 5am.

I also fall asleep at work after lunch (carbs or not) and sometimes have to go and snooze in the car.

I don't understand how anyone can physically 'power through' as I feel sick if I need to sleep and am not in a position to..

Of course rationally I KNOW that some insomniacs DON'T sleep all night. But my mind finds it hard to comprehend!

I hope you get some respite soon.

I believe you! I’m a fellow insomniac and have been for years, i used to struggle to go to sleep but ok once asleep but now I struggle to stay asleep and average about 4 hours a night. But quite often I’m awake all bloody night and I know I am.

people just don’t believe me when I say I’ve had no sleep, it’s the disbelieving look and the But Surely you’ve slept a bit.. Err nope.

I’m the same, now 07:30 and I’ve been awake since about 9am yesterday - after that being a crap night too, I woke up at least every one to hours, so I should be exhausted, and I am, but there’s no telling my insomnia what to do, hence still being awake now, with not even a wink or a doze last night, and that was including with melatonin, strong prescription sleeping tablets, plus other medications I have to take at night.
I think people who know me definitely believe me, tho. It’s been going on for about 15-16 years now. Even before that I had a delayed body clock and often would even work better late at night, right back to studying for exams.
Ive had ok-ish periods at times earlier on but increasingly it just has become so much worse and it’s at least half the week with no sleep, then a few hours here and there, until eventually my brain gives in and I’ll have one night with a good, long sleep, but then it starts again.
Have always been a night owl, which was great for partying and studying etc, but is of absolutely no use to me now that I’m way past that stage in my life!

Do you find that you’re having sleep periods? I can’t remember what it’s called - bi-phasic something or other? I read about it once, it was basically what it says on the tin. Along with the insomnia itself sometimes I’ll fall asleep earlier after a really bad few days, then I’m awake again by around 1-2am, then I’m awake for a couple of hours or more, then (if I’m lucky!), I’ll then have another period of sleep. I’ve noticed that a bit more recently. Often tho, once I wake in the middle of the night I don’t manage to get back to sleep. But I’ve a vague recollection about whatever article it was (for reasons I cannot recall!), that this bi-phasic sleep (if somebody knows what I’m talking about and how wrong I am with calling it that, do let me know!) can be healthy or even natural for some people. I think there was something about it evolving over time as a throw back from some genetic link way back in our very ancient and distant ancestors. If course, I could be talking absolute waddle due to the insomnia 😴😂

I guess unless you’ve been there it must be hard to comprehend. But honestly, it is so frequent that I don’t sleep at all, at least 1-2 days a week. And tbh you do just have to “power” through it, altho no power here, just a zombie sludging through quick sand. It is immensely debilitating and over time it really affects your heath. Basically you have no choice in the matter, and you just feel like death warmed up and hoping all day that you’ll get some sleep. Mine is pretty severe right now, last few years becoming increasingly worse where even strong prescription sleeping tablets aren’t doing a thing. It’s dangerous, I’ve hurt myself a lot when it’s at its worse, accidents, fainting etc. I think my longest stints have been 3 nights with literally no sleep and that is genuinely horrific.

Sorry this was supposed to have quoted in reply to @PinkZebraStripes,
But if anyone else knows what I’m talking about let me know ☺️

I'd believe the poster who said they wake up after about an hour, and may drop off again in the early hours.
But I'm afraid if you were claiming you literally hadn't shut your eyes I'd think you were stretching the truth, or had done it deliberately assisted by caffeine or similar.

I'd suggest getting a fitness watch that tracks sleep.

Because while I believe that you believe you have no slept at all. I can almost guarantee the sleep tracker will tell you differently.

@Itsasecretnow

https://www.bbc.co.uk/future/article/20220107-the-lost-medieval-habit-of-biphasic-sleep

Here you go!

My husband doesn’t realize when he has fallen asleep, because he doesn’t sleep well, he’ll drift in and out of sleep then claim to have been awake the whole time. The intense snoring would suggest otherwise.
It must be awful to not have restful restorative sleep.

I believe you OP. The nights are long in some ways and fly by in other respects when you can't sleep. Nothing worse than it starting to get light and you've not even closed your eyes. When my relationship broke down, I didnt close my eyes for 12 nights. I know its hard to believe and so its something tell very few people, but I know its true and how bad it felt...

Does it matter if people believe you or not? I'm a life long insomniac and for most of my working life had a very demanding job which I just had to power through. I would have been sacked if I'd tried to have time off due to insomnia.

I didn't think anyone else realised how bad my insomnia was until a past colleague read something about an insomnia/sleep study and referred me for it. So I think others did know, but it made no difference to my daily life. I just had to get on with it.

As this has been a life-long problem for me, I no longer stress about it. If I'm awake, so be it. I don't get anxious about coping etc. It's my normal. Yes, it's shit. I'm lucky that now I'm self employed so if I had to, I could cancel work. But I've never had to. I think knowing that I can if I need to helps.