Is being close to your parents and sibling really nice?

[7inchesFromTheMiddaySun]

My parents are no longer alive and I was never close to them. I really disliked my mum. I have a brother but am very low contact with him now - we have nothing in common so no reason to maintain a relationship. I have a great, loving DP, and an amazing group of close friends and consider them my family.

But if you're an 'adult adult' i.e. over the age of 40, have your own home, career, and life, and you have a close, caring and fun relationship with your parents and siblings, what's it like? Do you ring them regularly for a chat, to share a funny anecdote, to ask for advice, or to meet up for a meal because you have fun together? Is your sibling your best friend? None of my friends have this type of close, fun relationship with their families so I'm wondering whether it's just an 'American TV' thing or whether I really missed out on something amazing...

I’m 34 but do have my own house, kids, career, life etc. I am really close with family in the way you describe, I FaceTime my mum at least once per week (not scheduled, it just happens like that) and we what’s app a lot. I’ve got a group chat with her and my 3 sisters that’s probably in use every day or few days on average. I what’s app my dad a lot too but we don’t usually call, we do voice note though. I also speak with my sisters in a sisters what’s app or just direct to whoever I want to talk to/wants to talk to me. My oldest sister is 10 years older than me so we are close in a different way than I am with my others, who I would call with any news, good or bad. The only person who would be contacted first is my wife. I’ve lived away from my home town for over 10 years and see them on average at least monthly I’d say.

It sounds like you have what you need from friends though. I don’t believe family should be in your life just because you’re family!

I’m also close to my family in the way you describe. I’m married with children and we see my parents lots as does my brother and his family. I get on brilliantly with DB and DSIL and love their kids loads.

we enjoy each others company, are kind to each other, and in contact a lot. I used to take it for granted but now realise how lucky I am.

Yes I do, I don’t really have many negative things to say about my parents and brother. They don’t live that near but we make effort to make memories together and they are very supportive. I am very lucky, and dread the day something bad happens to one of us. I would say most of my friends are close to their families also. But I realise friends play an important role in my life too.

We are also close to my DH’s family andnice ILs is something I actively looked for in a partner as family is so important to me.

This isn’t quite what you asked, but being close to parents and siblings appears to be a foundation for other relationships. I’ve noticed that people who are close to siblings appear to have strong, reliable friendships with others as well.

I wasn’t close to my siblings when we were growing up. That didn’t mean that things were bad, but we weren’t close. We talk on the phone from time and see each other high days and holidays, but I do feel there is something avoidant about our sibling relationships too. Guess what …?

I’m close to my parents and siblings but not in ea h others pockets. We have a few family WhatsApp groups, one for siblings and the other includes parents. It’s pretty active. I see my parents weekly and my siblings (I have 5) variable amounts, just because we’re all busy. One sibling I see weekly and the others monthly (roughly).

my parents would do anything for me at the drop of a hat if I asked them, or needed it.

I don’t believe family should be in your life just because you’re family!

Absolutely. But never having had a close relationship with my family I was curious as to what I had missed out on. However, our friendship group is extremely close, caring, and loving, so I guess I have found my family there.

We are grand parents and with our DC and GC make a small and tight family unit.We all speak to each other several times a week and go out for a meal at least once a fortnight. We are all there for each other and drop everything if help is needed. Our 2 DC speak almost daily and our DD is very close to her nieces who call her for help and advice. DH and I did not have this in the families we came from and are very happy to have created this special unit which includes our DiL and her parents.

My late parents were lovely and we were very close. I have one sister and we chat every day. We celebrate milestones together and if anything big happens she is the first person I tell and I am the first person she tells. We are meeting later to celebrate her birthday with our respective 3 children and my new grandson. I’ve been blessed 🙏🏻