Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Neighbours keep gifting us stuff…what shall I give them?

16 replies

TooHigh · 15/08/2025 10:43

We had some building work done a year ago (absolutely necessary, part of the house was collapsing) and ended up in a dreadful fight with our neighbours who are retired and just want peace and quiet. Both Dp and the bloke next door puffed out their chests like ridiculous peacocks and fought loads. At the end of the building work, I bought them a hamper to say sorry for all the trouble and bloke next door accused me of trying to ‘buy them off’.

Anyway roll forward a year and we now greet each other in the street like normal human beings. In the last month the wife has brought round 2 lots of flowers, a bag of home grown courgettes and some home grown tomatoes. I wrote a letter of thanks to her but I don’t know what to give her back. I have got some roses growing and my gladioli should be out soon. Should I give her some flowers? I’m also growing courgettes, carrots and pumpkins but I don’t want to give her stuff she already has. I think this is her way of trying to make a peace offering so I want to make sure the gesture is properly reciprocated!

OP posts:
LittleMi55Nobody · 15/08/2025 11:20

invite them round for a barbie

TooHigh · 15/08/2025 12:07

Believe it or not I hadn’t thought of that - but I will ponder it!

OP posts:
Summerhillsquare · 15/08/2025 12:39

Home grown flowers sound delightful, I would be thrilled. Or do you bake?

caringcarer · 15/08/2025 12:42

Home grown flowers sounds lovely but if you go on her liday bring her back some little thing.

purplecorkheart · 15/08/2025 12:44

The flowers would be lovely and not too much. You don't want to get into an never ending cycle of gift giving either.

JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch · 15/08/2025 12:44

On behalf of every gardener in the UK right now - courgettes aren’t the gift you imagine them to be Grin

More seriously, I wouldn’t get into another spiral with them. Thank them for the lovely whatever thing, and when there’s a natural occasion to reciprocate then reciprocate. Otherwise it’ll get silly.

olympicsrock · 15/08/2025 12:46

Summer drinks even tea and cake in the garden would be friendly and give you a chance to get to know them

olympicsrock · 15/08/2025 12:46

I’m delighted to receive courgettes

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 15/08/2025 12:48

I agree with some PP. No more gift giving or you will forever be trying to gift each other things.

Invite them round for a few drinks in the garden, or a cuppa and some cake. This will keep things friendly and nice without having to keep giving gifts.

Judiezones · 15/08/2025 12:49

Flowers would be lovely. However, going off my own circumstances, she is probably just glad to find someone who will be glad of her surplus own-grown and doesn't expect anything in return.

softlyfallsthesnow · 15/08/2025 12:50

You don't need to give them anything but maybe it would be nice to ask them round for a cup of tea (or the barbie as already suggested).

I guess the gifts are a sort of peace offering so it's a good time to move forward with a positive relationship. They might enjoy a chat - or she would - and leave the past where it belongs.

WilliamBell · 15/08/2025 12:51

purplecorkheart · 15/08/2025 12:44

The flowers would be lovely and not too much. You don't want to get into an never ending cycle of gift giving either.

Yes, I'd prefer being at loggerheads to continually having to provide gifts.

TheSpottedZebra · 15/08/2025 13:05

No need to give her anything: she's just sharing her surplus. Assuming the flowers she gave you were grown, not bought? Just be appreciative.

She's obviously a gardener. Keep your front garden tidy, ish, and maybe ask her for advice on a gardening thing if you want to suck up a bit.

Poodlelove · 15/08/2025 13:06

Make them courgette brownies or like you mentioned flowers from your garden or a home made cake .

TooHigh · 15/08/2025 14:37

Thanks all!

OP posts:
TooHigh · 15/08/2025 14:37

Yes I think her flowers were grown but I don’t know for sure - really beautiful lillies

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread