Can anyone tell me what they think of this situation..
I have an ex we broke up few years or so back. We have 2 boys 9&10 year old together. I also have dd who's 15. Hes been around since she was 4ish . He's, always been really good with her. The boys go to him every other weekend and dd used to go monthly. And she was always included taken on holidays etc. Can't fault him.
Dd never knew her biological father. But she started asking questions said she wanted to try and find him etc. I helped her do that. So now they are in contact I think its been roughly 4 months.
This has really upset my ex which I do understand. He feels pushed away and hurt.a couple of things happend that pushed ex to be further upset. 1 is he was with dd and the 2 boys they were meant to be having a day together. Dd was messaging her bio father and told ex she be back in a min. Then she vanished ex couldn't find her and had to ring me. It turns out she had secretly met her bio . And ex was very hurt by it which I totally understand. dd and more so her bio were out of order for doing it. Dd ended up apologising to ex and have a hug and said she was sorry etc. Then on father's day she put a Facebook post that said happy fathers day to xxx ( bio) and to fathers that stepped up and tagged ex.
Since the upset that happened dd has tried to reach out to ex a couple of times because she,wanted to spend time with him to make up for how things had been and to get a close relationship with him again. A few weeks back ahe could not go because ex was doing something with the boys and other family members so there,was no space for dd . The next time he had the boys it was for extra nights and it felt to long for dd as she gets a bit bored because they do the same stuff over and over and dd is out growing the things they do. So she wanted to stay with them for one of their shorter weekends she asked ex if she could go with them next time the boys go. He said to dd he will see . She messaged him again last night and he didn't reply.
So I messaged him and asked did you get dd message . He said he would call me . He just called me saying he is really hurt by how dd has been recently and he basically doesn't want to see her anymore . And as much as she's 15 years old she really hurt him and he feels second best. And he said he wants to leave her to it because he does not want to be second best and hes really hurt by it all. I tried to explain to him that dd is confused its a massive change for her and she has tried to reach out to him a couple of times because she felt bad and wanted to build their relationship again. Ex said he doesn't want to be second best and shes doing it just because she feels she has to. I said how is she meant to make thing's better if your pushing her away. Then he said that she needs to go through the honey moon period with her bio and see how she gos if things dont work out with her bio father then he will be there for her.
I haven't told dd yet. Not sure how to .
Just wanted to know wgat others think about this situation