Talk me into going on this hen do

[RonaRhondda]

I have a hendo this weekend and I don’t want to go. I’ve already spent about £400 on hotels and new clothes and have promised three friends to drive them there and it’s a 3 hour drive I just don’t want to go I feel bad about how I look and whilst some of my friends will be there I don’t know her colleagues or friends from away and always worried about how I will be judged I have put on a lot of weight recently and feel like a gross troll but the funny facade I have learned to put on from being fat all my life is thinning and I don’t have the energy to put on a fun face. I will appreciate time away from my 3 little ones and I’m sure some of it will be fun I can’t back out now realistically but am dreaming of cancelling and having a chill weekend with my babies instead just looking to sound off to someone as I’m feeling down and lonely today

Do you care about any of your friends weight/appearance? I imagine not, you love them for who they are… and they feel the same about you ❤️

And you will feel so much better once you are in the car with them. Times like this are when you need your friends the most 🌸

You have to go imo. If you hadn’t arranged to drive you could duck out but it is very short notice for them to rearrange.

I'm assuming it's two nights away if you have spent that much on the hotel- why don't you attend the main do, and the other night just say you have a migraine or something similar and enjoy a night in the hotel on your own while the others are out- get room service, have a bath, watch a movie etc and enjoy the time away from your kids

This, sorry. I’d rather have my tongue nailed to the floor of the gents than go to hen parties but it really is a bit late to let them down now. Friends don’t care what you look like, which I suspect is a whole lot better than you think anyway.

I think you know you're going, so put it out of your head and just get on with it.

Use this weekend to talk to your friends a bit about how you're really feeling - don't be a debbie downer, but have a proper chat with them. They're your friends, be real with them. Let them support you.

Failing that, do the migraine thing and enjoy a night in the hotel on your own.

Thank you all for the support I think subliminally I put myself down to drive so I can’t back out of these events as I’d rather not go but know I will enjoy once I’m there. I’m just feeling emotional today and I saw a photo of myself yesterday and I looked horrible I’m probably 20stone so know I will look larger than the other girls and deep down know they love me for me but there will be new people so I find that scary. They know I suffer from migraines so that is a good shout if it gets a bit much. I don’t think this weekend is the time to open up but just being with close friends in their presence will be nice.

Did you go? How was it? 🙂

I went. It was fine but I couldn’t say I totally enjoyed it. Time spent with friends was nice and there were some good laughs but I feel awful now I’ve seen the photos of myself. My self esteem is at an all time low and I can’t help think that people were wondering what I was doing there if I wasn’t totally enjoying myself.