How to ‘let go’ of turmoil/upset/over thinking and move on

[Mindisawashingmachine]

Just that!

Had an incident recently where someone (who I thought was a good/understanding friend) didn’t back me up and turned things around on me and now I’m in turmoil.

I’m definitely an over thinker/analyser and keep going over it in my head, doing different scenarios, imagining I said different things and what outcome might have been, constantly worrying about it and the effects this now has on my and others life! I can’t sleep properly and it keeps popping into my head.
How do I move on (person has removed contact for me and another)?

I find that, before I can move on, I need to sit with the experience for a bit. So spend a few days letting yourself wallow, thinking about what you should have said, feeling all the emotions. Then once you've done that, you pack it all up in a box, think to yourself that what's past is past, and move forward without regret.

I love this, you are so right!
I find I try to keep pushing it away and trying to ignore and forgot about it but it keeps creeping into my head and spirals, yes I need to wallow for a bit and be kinder to myself x

I agree with the advice to sit with how you feel for a little while before pushing yourself to move forward. Acknowledge your feelings and give yourself permission to feel crap about it for a couple of days. Then hopefully you will be able to move forward naturally.

I am not one to just get over stuff. I need to process it for quite a while sometimes. I try to let myself do this rather than rush to move on.

Long walks help me. It's like there’s two different brain processes going on - one that is processing away at whatever the issue is or was, and the other my normal internal dialogue of utter rubbish “ooh, that’s a nice front garden, what a pretty house, I hope they’re going to pick up after their dog,” etc etc!

A long walk, especially early in the day, also means I get a good night’s sleep, which always helps.

Write a letter to the person who wronged you - but don't send it. Rip it up, burn it, or store it in a drawer. I find that writing down my feels is hugely cathartic and allows me to let go/move on without dwelling and ruminating quite so much.

I'm assuming it was a fairly significant incident if the person cut you off. Something relatively trivial is much quicker to get over but big things can take a very long time in my experience. Trying to stop the thoughts and scenarios playing out can be pointless, the more you try the more the thoughts come.

Some things you just have to live with unfortunately.

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When you accept you can't go back you'll move on.

Write it down. Write down the different scenarios. Accept it for what it is and then try and put it in a box and move on

Read the Mel Robbins book- Let them. It is currently cheap on tiktok and I found it really good. I am a chronic people pleaser, get second hand embarrassment for people, overtime everything etc.
I am learning to let go now!