Are you good / shit at your job?

[SitOnHisFaceIfHeDiesHeDies]

And if you're shit at it does it bother you? It's occurring to me that I'm actually pretty shit at mine and putting that with a huge amount of social anxiety and low self esteem it's not a very nice place to be in. I don't even understand what I'm doing half the time. I'm honestly thick as fuck.

I know everyone on here has ten university degrees and seven figure salaries but can anyone relate?

Are you sure it’s not imposter syndrome? This is v common in my industry.

No mate. I really am dumb as shit

Are you sure the environment isn't just making you feel that way? Are you being bullied?

Not being bullied at all, I work somewhere with pretty reasonable people I suppose but the communication is shit and you only really ever get half a story to work with. I was in a respected role for 13 years before this and while I always received a lot of praise I knew it was bullshit and I was hiding the truth. I've been here two years and it's confirmed what I always knew, I don’t have much initiative and I'm not really capable of making bigger decisions without hiding behind a manager (I'm not a manager and I never want to be).

I'm good at most aspects of my job but not so good at others.

If you received a lot of praise in your previous job, it seems unlikely that you really are shit! Ot sounds more like you are lacking in confidence.

Oh OP this is Mumsnet where everyone is excellent at their job (and driving) and always works super hard 100% of the time.

I expect you aren't as shit as you think you are though.

Sometimes I am excellent at my job and sometimes I just can't be arsed and procrastinate for ages.

Is it an intelligence or ability thing or does it not play to your strengths?
For instance I can be slapdash so am better in a job that doesn’t require repetitive jobs.
But short of either of this, I suspect you’re held back by your own fears. Many people are: they can’t take the stress in making decisions, having difficult conversations or pushing ideas for consideration, sometimes which will be knocked back.
And that’s okay! It probably hampers long term career growth but many are happy with a job and not a career.
The question is what you’re happy with.

That pretty much describes me. There is a niche part of my job that I excel at, and other areas that require improvement.

I also agree that this sounds like a lack of self confidence thing. Is there any training that you can access?

Sounds like you are tending towards anxious and then depressive thoughts, because you start from a base of assuming you are not good enough and don't give credence to any information that says otherwise.

"lots of praise" but secretly shit sounds like you have distorted perception, about previous role at least.
Maybe you turned shit only in the newer job?

If you were that shit now they'd fire you, so there is a shittiness level well below whatever you are doing now. You probably have a long way to go to reach pinacle of shitty colleague behaviour.

Being mediocre is not shit. Being mediocre is simply human. Don't confuse mediocre with shit. Also don't confuse "making lots of mistakes" with shit. Shit is generally not even trying to get it right, being unpleasant, creating too much unnecessary work for others. I have a colleague I am very fond of ... he makes a lot of mistakes that seem so obvious to me to avoid & sometimes I have to fix. He also spots problems I never thought of and is ace at spotting fin. fraud (we have dodgy business partners). I would totally miss the signs of sly financial statements. It is good that we have different skillsets.

Are you trapped by salary needs, or could you find initiative to move to a job you enjoyed more, at least?

I also would hate being a manager. The money would be nice but the hassle... no thanks.

How similar is your current job to your previous one? As lots of praise for previous job wouldn't tally with being shit at your current job if they're similar work. Not having much iniative doesn't mean you're shit at your job either, nor does making mistakes unless you don't learn from them. I've made plenty of mistakes in my job but I still consider myself good at it because I learn and improve.

It's an admin role but a very niche one and very well paid. It's a job though and definitely not a career. If I move on I actually want to step back down the ladder and return to a "normal" supporting administrative role. The money isn't worth the unhappiness.

If its making you so unhappy that you'd rather take a paycut then sounds like its not the right job for you anyway. Perhaps look for a job that suits you better and try not to stress too much about this one, but remember if you genuinely are shit you'd have heard by now from your boss so don't look down on yourself, likely you are as good as they require.

Thank you x