Is this rude or am I just behind with the times?

[BBQsauceoneverything]

Do some neighbours no longer acknowledge each other nowadays?

My parents have lived in the same house for 52 years in a lovely popular semi-rural village. I also live in the village. It's friendly, not overbearingly but people are, in general friendly nonetheless.

On one side new neighbours have moved in, around 3 months ago now. To date they have never acknowledged dad's, my sister's or mine existence. I am round most days as I help care for my mum who is housebound with advanced dementia.
We have been out in the driveway on several occasions and they too have been in theirs (fence only 3 foot tall so can see each other easily) but they will not look our way at all. On several occasions now we have been ready for them to look up so we can wave and smile but they will not even dare turn their heads our way, nothing, zilch. Dad even called out hello once but they totally ignored him, kind of put him off doing it again.

I appreciate that time is precious these days and people are in a hurry etc and that a couple in their 30's will probably have no interest in a man of 84 but surely a little wave and a hello would be classed as a friendly and neighbourly thing to do or have times moved on? I live in a cu-de-sac with new and younger neighbours and they all wave when I drive by, this couple just seem so unfriendly. My poor dad feels a bit crestfallen. It's a good job the neighbours on the other side are friendly and kind.

Nothing we can do of course so hey-ho.

You can't have got this far in life without realising that some people are just like that?

Did any of you go over and introduce yourselves when they moved in or when you saw them outside?

Assuming they don't have hearing issues (my DH has but it's not obvious) then yes it's a bit anti-social not to acknowledge neighbours if you see them.

They might like to keep the illusion that the fence gives privacy though!

Did you knock on their door/drop off a hello card when they moved in? We had neighbours on one side that did that when we moved in. We knocked on the door of the other side just to say hello and they were polite but looked a bit baffled as to why we had done so

Agree with @OoooopsUpsideYourHead. Some people are just not interested in being on chatty terms with their neighbours, some people have so much going on that they barely register neighbours for months until things calm down.

Did your Dad go and introduce himself when they moved in?

I think most neighbours do still exchange polite chit-chit,or at least acknowledge a neighbour's existence. My recently widowed mum(80) has a similar issue with her new neighbours, although they do sometimes speak- they are a married couple in their 30s. A polite " hello" is all that's needed. Some neighbours of mine sometimes speak and sometimes blank me, I just laugh about it. A pal told me one of them once killed somebody so maybe I'm lucky😂

I don't think it's rude - I have no desire in being friends with my neighbours. I'd much rather have none!

Some people just aren’t interested. Yes, it’s fairly rude not to even acknowledge with a wave and a smile; and I’d wonder if, knowing there are two elderly people living next door, one who requires a lot of care, they don’t want to risk putting themselves in a position of being the people your parents call on for assistance if you are not around and are deliberately avoiding being “the nice friendly people next door.”

I think it's fairly normal. I know few of my neighbours, even though many of us have lived here 20 or 30 years. To be honest, I don't really understand why we're expected to socialise with people just because of the accident of living near them. I think most of us like a bit of privacy, and wouldn't want to encourage too much "palliness" (is that a word?).

I am friendly with neighbours, and have nice neighbours, and we have a street Whatsapp, but also maintain a bit of distance. If they become a pain in the arse in one way or another then you are stuck with them! I can't imagine not saying Hi if someone waved at me though, particularly if they are next door.

Though on typing this I saw a new (to me) woman next door but one smartening up the front garden and I didn't say "Hello" to her as she looked busy. Perhaps I will stop for a chat next time.

We have one newish neighbour like that. Resting bitch face doesn't quite cover it. She'll come round eventually. If she doesn't, I can't see anyone taking parcels in for her.

I’m autistic. I don’t like to speak to people I don’t know.

Did you introduce yourselves when they moved in?

In a previous house, I got “het” for being the go-to for an elderly neighbour because her daughters lived fairly far away. I wouldn’t want to be caught like that again, especially since my own health is declining.

I dont bother with my neighbours at all maybe a hi morning etc if i see them or they see me.
Other than that no i dont do chit chat or tea mornings or the local gossip or knocking on doors to say hi or to check on you fuck that crap.
I had that at my old home and hated it after 5 looooong years i finally had enough and moved away.
Its bliss.

Yes, that also seems quite likely.

Neighbors where I live keep to themselves mainly but do wave and say hello. I wonder is it because your parents are elderly and the neighbors fear being asked/expected to help out?

I’m on friendly terms with all mine, we’ve all lived here for various decades and always say hello if we see each other.

The neighbours joined on to me I talk to more, sometimes a quick hello sometimes a more lengthy chat if we’re not busy. I can go weeks without seeing them but we can have a nice long chat when we do. Never in each others houses though. I’ve only ever once been in their house in 20 years 😂 and she’s been twice in mine but that’s suits us,

the new Romanian couple next to me on the other side are lovely too, always chat, I lent him a broom to sweep their yard, he mowed my lawn as a thank you 😆

Some people/neighbours are just unfriendly or just don’t want to chat at all. I do think not saying a quick hello or deliberately ignoring someone when they say hello is a bit rude but each to their own.

Gosh - this thread makes looks me over-friendly (and I'm.not).

Our immediate neighbours have been amazing over the years , to the extent of babysitting our children (we have no family near). We look after each other's pets when on hols. They are getting older and we do small tricky tasks like sort out the light bulbs, sort out why the TV isn't working.

Neighbours on the otherside not as buddy with but we get on. Take each others bins in, take in parcels etc...

I have the keys for 6 of houses on our street (I must look honest). I have spare keys with 2 neighbours. Been useful when one of my children has forgotten their key....

We aren't doing street parties but often chat if time when out and about.

If someone on our street needs any help, there's people who'd help out. There's a kindness on our street. I grew up on similar friendly street - it's what I'm used to.

I think it's v rude and unnecessary. I always say hello to the neighbours, especially if they're elderly people as I think they expect a bit more from their neighbours (like how it was back in the day). Surely it doesn't hurt to wave back & just say hello if an elderly man waves at you.

Some people just aren’t friendly. I moved to my London neighbourhood four years ago and both sides and two sets across the street came over to introduce themselves. Stand in your front garden long enough and soon someone will stop and say hello. If you have a dog even better as you see the same people in the park and some stop to chat. But I’ve lived in other towns where when I went to introduce myself to my neighbour he shut the door in my face!

I've lived at my property for 5 years and I don't speak to my neighbours if we happen to be outside at the same time.... but I do take in parcels for them 🤣

Yes it's rude and ignorant. Some people don't seem to be able to grasp that being friendly and being friends are 2 completely different things.

Amen sister 😆

I find I interactions like that really difficult. Yes, I'll smile and wave if you catch my eye, but I'd much rather pretend I haven't seen you. Yes, I know it's rude, but it's self preservation rather than deliberate rudeness aimed at you.

Somehow these interactions in my own front yard are much more stressful than say, bumping into someone in the street.

We’ve lived in our home for 2 years (2 story block of flats with 7 flats in) and we’ve never spoken to a single neighbour! Some people just prefer it that way.

I think this is the way it is now. Up until recently I've always had neighbours older than me and they have been really friendly. I moved to a new build estate with people around my age (30s, 40s) and it's just heads down when we see each other. I'm actually quite socially anxious myself but put in the effort to try and chat with people despite the anxiety but have given up now as it's never reciprocated.

Bloody weird. It’s basic manners to acknowledge your neighbours. Doesn’t mean you’ll suddenly have to be best friends.

What a shame for your parents. Good neighbours are a wonderful thing.

Where I live, most people will say hi but some don't. It always baffles me when people won't at least nod or wave .