If you don't live together and don't share finances..

[Peabowl]

How much does DP know about your finances?

I was raised not to tell anyone outside of immediate family anything. Even then, I've never known how much DPs or DSis earn, so maybe I'm coming from an extreme. I wouldn't dream of telling friends what I paid for a car or a holiday.

I'm also a widow and spent a few years being very wary of men who might be chasing a "rich" widow for her money. They definitely exist.

I'm not rich, but I have assets built up during my marriage and some investment income. People assume my lifestyle is down to DH's money, but actually I was always the higher earner. That said, being married for a long time definitely put me in a better financial position than I would have been single.

I've now been seeing a man for nearly a year. He hasn't asked and I haven't told him anything. He knows what I do for a living so will have an idea what I earn, and he knows I cam have a weekend away and pay my share without thinking too hard, but he has idea what I'm "worth" or what my total income is.

It feels a bit dishonest (and DH and I had completely shared finances) but I'm not ready to tell him anything.

Is that just sensible or does it mean I don't like/trust.him as much as I think I do?

Super sensible. None of his business.

Ask yourself this. Why would he need to know?
Keep your finances and info completely separate. It doesn't mean you don't trust him.

Yes, that my feeling in it, but there are lots of things he doesn't "need" to know that you do share as part of the getting to know you process.

Until it gets to a point where you are seriously considering moving in together I would not dream of divulging any kind of financial information. Even then, unless buying a property together and/or getting married, it would be on a need to know basis.

DP and I have been together 4 years and live apart. We know what each other earns. But as I work in the nhs mine is public knowledge.

we were honest with each other about 6 months in. Financial compatibility was important to us as to build a future I didn’t want to be with someone who had debts and same as him. But turns out his basic wage is similar to mine but he can earn much more nearly 35% extra due to overtime

we both know what savings we have and equity in each house. But we are not money oriented and everything is split 50/50. He does treat me to things and may upgrade hotels etc. but it’s not asked by me.

ironically despite his high earning potential I have more savings and house equity. He is not in debt but I am more sensible.

Sometimes it's wise to keep your cards close to your chest on a variety of different topics until you know someone better. That doesn't mean you are not being honest, but careful.

Very sensible OP ..protect yourself at all costs and guard your privacy well .

There’s no need to share private financial information unless you want to.
I knew what my exH earned as we shared bills, but not bank accounts, so we had to do a household budget.
I made the mistake of telling an exP what my salary was and it didn’t go down well. I’m not rich and I knew I’d be the higher earner but his response wasn’t good so I’d never divulge financial details again. He was definitely more emasculated than proud of my success/hard work. In fact he resented my job then eventually me, so I left. I work hard and do love my job, he hated his and found it a chore, doing as little as possible. So it’s not unexpected that our earnings were different as well as our values being misaligned.

Completely fine. My DF refused to get remarried for about 25 years and only really discussed finances after about 20!

Sounds like you and your DFriend are at the right place. You each know that the other can afford what you both want to do. Sounds like your relationship is a fun one with lots of activities, shared dinners both out and in and weekends/holidays.
So there's no need to tell him anything unless he's asking and then, if you're not comfortable, you could put him off a little - a little joke about not dicussing politics, death or money.

All the same, he will have been able to make some conclusions - as you probably have yourself about his situation.
Even if you don't say outright, people who mull and consider will have an idea about the depth of your pockets but ... they will never know the absolute nitty gritty, just what you are willing to spend.