What could I have done to upset this person?

[Porkychops]

In brief I joined an activity group and another woman got chatting and asked if I wanted a lift there, I did feel that it was a bit out of her way and said this and she said that she liked the idea of car sharing, so all good. I have offered her a lift in return but she said she preferr6to do the picking up.It is only a short distance anyway. Last time she gave me a lift all chatty and nice, we didn't see each other the month after as she was away and since then she has been quite quiet on the messaging, didn't offer me a lift this time so I made my own way and then went out of her way not to speak to me and even closed her eyes when I looked over!! All I can think is that she maybe wanted a friendship.and I was too busy to reciprocate and she now feels used?? But she offered me a lift in the first place! Or maybe she is just odd!

First you say it’s a bit out of her way and then you say it’s only a short distance.

It is only a short distance but she was coming back on herself to get me, like 5 mins, but she offered. I didn't ask

Read a book called 'the chimp paradox '. It'll change your life. It focuses very heavily on these scenarios that play in our heads that we ruminate over.

You will never know and is it even worth knowing? This is playing into some insecurity you hold within yourself and you're gathering evidence (this scenario) to feed it. Let it go and enjoy your craft. Can't recommend that book enough by the way. It's been life changing for me with stuff like this.

Squish Mallow, thank you. I agree with you, I am getting much better about not caring but I was more interested thank bothered of you see what I mean. I just think some people are so strange with their non verbals and blowing hot and cold

Could be that there is something else going on in her life and she just was not in the mood to chat etc.

Believe me I sympathise. And I totally get it. I'd tangle myself up over this kind of thing frequently. But if I'm totally honest I had low self esteem and someone being off with me really played into that complex and id internalise it as "proof" that I wasn't worthy of being friends with etc. but what I'm getting at, is it probably stors a discomfort in you somewhere, hence the needing to validate that her reasons for being cool aren't about you.

They might be. They might not be. If she has a problem and she's not addressing it with you then it's not very mature of her. The key point to get to Is not to let these scenarios infiltrate your headspace. I promise a penny will drop when you read that book ! It's help me marvellously (written by someone that is both a top medical doctor and psychiatrist - UK as well, no wacky Americanisms!)