how do u get school to actually listen??

[ChangingChances89]

feel like ive been sayin the same stuff about ds for years n no1 takes it serious. they just say “we’ll keep an eye” but then nothing happens.

he cant cope with certain clothes, hates noise, struggles with writing, gets so stressed over small changes. it breaks my heart seein him feel like hes “weird”.

hes goin into year 6 in september n i dont want another year of him bein ignored. ive got a sendco meeting next month but im scared theyll just brush me off again.

how do u get them to actually listen n do somethin? do u email stuff? write things down? i get muddled on the phone so half the time i forget what i wanted to say.

i just want him to have the help he needs before secondary. feels like im runnin out of time.

Start a record of behaviours you are concerned about and log specific examples and how often and when these occur. Take the log into your meeting with the Sendco so you don't forget anything. If the Sendco says that school don't see these behaviours this may indicate that your son is masking at school but letting it all out at school.
Tell them that you want them to start the process of referring onto the Neurodevelopmental pathway. If school refuse to do this then you can see your GP and ask them to start the referral or you can self refer.

I would suggest a clear written list that you take in to the meeting of things he is finding difficult and actions you think would make a difference.
Them saying they will keep an eye suggests they are possibly not seeing major issues in school compared to other children so you need to be clear and specific about what the issues are, and agree clear actions (from you and from school). Then email to confirm them after the meeting.

If you feel after a few weeks they are not happening, resend the email and remind them. Make sure class teacher and sendco are copied in so everyone is on the same page.

thank u both this is really helpful. i never thought of keepin a proper log but that makes sense cos i forget stuff when im in the meetin. hes so different at home so maybe it is that maskin thing u said.

im gonna start writin things down from today n then do a list like u said for the meeting. n i like the idea of emailin after so its all there. feels a bit scary but i gotta push more this year.

It can feel scary but you know your child best and are the best advocate for them (particularly with secondary school in the near future!)
You will find lots of help and advice on the Mumsnet SEN forum so maybe post on there in the future (it's in the Education section) Good luck and don't let the school dismiss your concerns!!

I’d try to be really specific about what you need from school and yes, write it all down in advance so you’ve got it straight in your mind.

eg DS feels xxxx in this kind of situation. I need school to do yyy to help him feel more settled.

Be open to negotiation - they might not be able to do exactly what you ask, but maybe you can come to an agreement or experiment with approaches.

ur right i do know him best n i dont wanna let him down. i think part of me worries they see me as that “annoyin mum” but i guess thats better than sayin nothin.

i didnt even no there was a sen bit on here so i’ll go look for that later. thank u for bein kind ❤️