If you have health anxiety do you know why, and what has helped you?

[olderandnonthewiser]

I am struggling at the moment, and would really appreciate some advice and reassurance that I can manage this.
Thank you.

I think that my health anxiety is due to my father’s serious illness when I was a child, plus my mother’s severe anxiety. Both these factors made my childhood very stressful. Did you have anything similar in your childhood OP?

Thank you for commenting @Brightbluetowel
I’m sure mine is due to close family dying young.
It is really affecting my whole life.

I’m so sorry to hear how badly affected you feel and it does seem likely that close family dying young would have affected you. It’s awful, isn’t it? I’ve been on antidepressants and had some therapy, but can’t honestly say any of it has helped much. Is there anything in particular about your health that regularly preys on your mind?

Mine is/was heavily related - I think - to my cycle - e.g worse at certain times...
I had counselling- 2 helpful tips that worked for me.

1. I have an obsessive/OCD personality. If i wasn't stressing about having bubonic plague thdn it would be something else...helped me keep a sense of perspective.
2. When those thoughts come do something/anything immediately to snap yourself out of it - I used to put a hairband on my wrist & flick it really hard. Or i would find something to clean. If I was panicking then at least I'd have a clean room to do it in.

Divert &distract worked for me

Im absolutely terrified of cancer, even though I know for so many it’s very treatable. For me though, I’d think it was a death sentence.

Sheryl Paul’s book The Wisdom of Anxiety really helped me (she also has an Instagram if you want to dip into her approach), and also psychotherapy which took a similar approach of learning to welcome the anxiety and listen to its message. (Childhood neglect and grief at the root of it really).

Did your relative that died young die of cancer?

Have you tried therapy, and/or medication?

what helps and what doesn’t?

I’m a therapist who has also struggled with health anxiety in the past.

Therapy is so nuanced and personal it’s hard to say what particular things have helped each client I’ve worked with on this, as personal context and personality is key

Im absolutely terrified of cancer, even though I know for so many it’s very treatable. For me though, I’d think it was a death sentence.

you sort of have to keep digging I think. You’re not really scared of cancer, you’re scared of death. And in a kind of paradox, being afraid of death can kind of mean you’re afraid of living. Imagine having lived a full and happy life and having achieved everything you want to achieve by old age - would you fear death as much? I think that’s one of the things that helped me get out of it - imagining getting to a place where I was comfortable with the life I’d lived, and that having an aged tired body might mean death will be welcome by the time I get to old age. I’d hear sometimes about people who had lived a long and happy life and how the narrative around that is ‘they had a good innings’ - that’s what I’m aiming for! It kind of puts a different spin on death and makes it feel like a delicious bodily rest.

I have had therapy, but I didn’t find it helpful. The therapist was at a bit of a loss I think. I know why I’m like this.. I know exactly when it started. It feels more like a reaction to trauma, and grief. I lost my only sister to cancer after a truly hideous and heartbreaking illness. I won’t recover from that ever I don’t think. (It was years ago ).
There is a lot of cancer in my family.

@FloraBotticelliI’m not really frightened of being dead. I’m petrified of the process of dying though.

I'm very sorry to hear you are going through this and about your sister. I too suffer from health anxiety which I'm sure is due to serious illness I have witnessed/am witnessing in my family. (I convince myself I have the same degenerative condition and truly torture myself over it.)
I'd like to recommend the book 'Overcoming health anxiety' by Katherine Owens and Martin Antony. It has made me see things more rationally.

totally understandable given what you’ve gone through. Have you ever talked through that experience with anyone?

I am sorry for the loss of your sister. Have you considered hypnotherapy/remedial hypnosis? There's a part of your subconscious which is so scared of dying – as a result of the trauma and grief you went through – that it believes the only way of keeping you safe is to be on high alert and ultra aware of this happening to you. It's a protection mechanism, but it's working on a faulty hypothesis. Once this part knows that it's not helping it will stand down.

I have health anxiety and I don’t have much time to type right now so I will hopefully be back later too write more, but as a very quick message I wanted to share this lady with you as her channel has really helped me:

https://youtube.com/@cherellethinks?si=Yp6iHlMkQU6mBK3k

I also lost my younger sister to cancer. I understand.

I spent a while losing my shit. Drinking a lot too.
Then I kicked myself up the arse, and tried cold water.
I went all in. Now I cold plunge most days.
I meditate.
It works for me.

And I was diagnosed with the same cancer last year.
I had a short term panic, for sure.
Then I ramped up the cold plunges, did the necessary treatment, and it was actually liberating. It was a blessing.
I’m here, because I am.
i won’t be here forever. None of us will.
I can calm my fear responses now, if I’m intentional about it.

Thoughts can make you unwell, and thoughts can heal.
When my subconscious thoughts create anxiety, I can observe them now.

Same. Also DH had a life threatening illness diagnosed through a routine blood test.

Mine is due to a mother who liked to scare us shitless as a way of controlling us. Like “TAKE YOUR MEDICINE OTHERWISE YOU WILL DIE”, all I had was an ear infection.

My childhood was spent visiting my sick grandma in hospital probably listening to many conversations i shouldn't have been present at. All grandparents had died before i was 10. Then aged 17 i had a very traumatic experience with a gp who told me i had a heart murmur and sent me up the hospital that day. 30 years later i can still remember what she said word for word. My heath anxiety has mainly been around my heart from that moment as none of the tests or results were ever explained to me. I now try to avoid illnesses. I won't watch any tv shows based around hospitals and i get very stressed when my children are ever ill. I come across cold and uncaring but its because im panicking inside. The pandemic made me a million times worse. I had CBT and some talking therapy i would say im better now but i haven't been ill for awhile. I know if i feel ill i will snowball with panic so im certainly not over it.

It’s an absolutely logical reaction to this type of trauma, and some degree of it may always be present as you have a relevant context rather than it being present randomly. What helped me (and often what helps clients in similar situations) is coming to terms with the anxiety, not trying to scare it off/control it/get rid of it. Rather trying to make sense of the fact it’s there to try and protect you and keep you safe, but also balancing that with the fact that it isn’t actually keeping you safe if that makes sense. Sounds a bit trite but this sort of thing being worked on over weeks and months , and coming to a realisation that worrying more hasn’t often helped, is the only way I was able to take a step back from the obsessive nature of the worrying.