Do you know your neighbours?

Thaawtsom · 08/08/2025 16:54

Maybe try to make friends in the area a different way.

I have moved recently; I "know" my neighbours in the same way you do, but I am not looking for friends and do not want any more than that.

Have your kids moved school? Sounds like you need to find ways to meet people: a choir, an exercise class ...

slightlydistrac · 08/08/2025 16:57

I don't see much of our newer neighbours from one year to the next unless we both happen to be doing our front gardens at the same time. NDN on one side I've known well for nearly 40 years (yes I have lived here that long!), and we get on really well with the NDNs the other side too. With the rest of them, it is mainly just Christmas cards and the (rare) street party.

PerfectTuesday · 08/08/2025 16:58

Only to say 'hi' to - we don't socialise with them. To be honest, I am peopled-out after a day at work so I tend to keep myself to myself at home.

ninjahamster · 08/08/2025 17:00

Yes I do know them. Most friendships have built up through community projects like neighbourhood watch, resident association, school PTA activities etc.

NorthernLass50 · 08/08/2025 17:06

We’ve lived in a small village for 10 years. One side NDN, we know to say hi to and will chat occasionally but don’t see them in passing a lot.
The other side have only moved in very recently so not spoken to them yet.
The previous occupants turned into nightmare neighbours quite quickly and we became quite friendly which made the situation regretfully difficult.

We both work full time and see being at home as a retreat from people so am happy to keep it on polite nodding terms only.

EsmeWeatherwaxHatpin · 08/08/2025 17:07

Yeah. Our neighbours are pet sitting for us while we are away. Our other neighbours moved earlier this year but we still see them and are already on good terms with the new people. We’ve done Christmas drinks, game nights, emergency help…all sorts.

Our neighbours from our very first flat together are now such good friends we’re godparents to each other’s kids!

FluffyWabbit · 08/08/2025 17:35

Donakebabe · 08/08/2025 16:50

I moved to my house almost 2 years ago, a fresh start away from the town we lived in for 10 years and also closer to work.
We don’t know any of our neighbours, but we say hi and we’ve had a few hi’s back.
But we moved onto a street where everyone knows each other very well, they are good friends and mix with each other every day. We haven’t been unwelcome as such, but no one speaks to us so it feels like we don’t belong here sometimes as we’re not the ‘new family’ anymore.
I know it shouldn’t matter as we love our home and we’re very happy here, but I sometimes get a pang of sadness that no one really wants to ‘mingle’ with us and the children on the street don’t acknowledge my children.
Dramatically It’s like we’ve walked into season 5 of a popular series and people are switching off.
I have tried to speak to immediate neighbours either side but they have no interest past a ‘hi’.
Before anyone asks we aren’t ‘different’ in any way, we’re just a typical family with 3 children like the majority of others on the street.
Is this just the way things are now? Should I just give up and accept we won’t make friends here? Do you live on a cliquey road like this?

I would love to have you as a neighbour. I have tried to reach out to either side via Christmas cards, waving good morning, asking about life etc and they look at me like I'm some weirdo so I just smile and wave from the safety of my car when I'm leaving and they happen to be out...

I wouldn't say your situation is abnormal but maybe more usual than we'd like for sure.

notevencharging · 08/08/2025 18:48

It’s a bit of a mix.

We have lived in a cul de sac for 25 years and a couple of the neighbours are close friends that we’ve got to know well and been on holiday with/socialise with regularly.

There are a few others that I know fairly well/am friends with on FB because the kids were at school together and stop and chat to me in the street but don’t really socialise with. There’s a couple who say hello or wave and a few that barely nod at me if they walk by!

Jenni102 · 26/10/2025 02:55

Donakebabe · 08/08/2025 16:50

I moved to my house almost 2 years ago, a fresh start away from the town we lived in for 10 years and also closer to work.
We don’t know any of our neighbours, but we say hi and we’ve had a few hi’s back.
But we moved onto a street where everyone knows each other very well, they are good friends and mix with each other every day. We haven’t been unwelcome as such, but no one speaks to us so it feels like we don’t belong here sometimes as we’re not the ‘new family’ anymore.
I know it shouldn’t matter as we love our home and we’re very happy here, but I sometimes get a pang of sadness that no one really wants to ‘mingle’ with us and the children on the street don’t acknowledge my children.
Dramatically It’s like we’ve walked into season 5 of a popular series and people are switching off.
I have tried to speak to immediate neighbours either side but they have no interest past a ‘hi’.
Before anyone asks we aren’t ‘different’ in any way, we’re just a typical family with 3 children like the majority of others on the street.
Is this just the way things are now? Should I just give up and accept we won’t make friends here? Do you live on a cliquey road like this?

I live on a street of the most racist people ever- I'm the only brown woman on the street and living alone. So far in the last 5 months, I've been voyuered, stalked and harrassed by the man next door who everyone thinks is a normal family man and who is married- when I didn't respond to any of his harrassment, he turned the whole neighbourhood against me and got 20+ racist white men from the pub to racially harrass, insult, stalk, racially and mob me daily oustide my house. Their wives have joined in too seeing their spouses are obsessed with me unnaturally.

So I'd say as a woman, not talking to your neighbours in a small town is likely a blessing, I wish mine would leave me alone but no such luck. Unless they're innocent elderley harmless people then I just would never. The last male neighbour I answered the door to in my old house, had a wife or girlfriend, and stalked me badly, and after telling him to leave me alone 5 times at least even saying f*off, found me online and stalked me on there. Both 'men', felt rejected from the outset and after rejection, became full stalker. People esp men can be Creeps, even and maybe especially in small towns from my experience. Be careful.