Would you take a job you know you would find stressful and all consuming if it would mean you could retire 10 years early?

[MockBatter]

I am late 40s. I work in a very niche sector. I have a good and well paid job now and if I stay in it I could retire at 65 comfortably and live a nice life before and after retirement.

I have been offered the only job in my industry that pays double what I earn now. If I take it I could save a huge amount each year and still be living a good quality of life and then retire much earlier. The only problem is the job will be hugely stressful and difficult and I know I won’t like it as much as my current job.

another factor is I’m the first woman to be offered this job ever. If I turn it down it will go to a man and I will feel I was somehow weak and somehow let women in my industry down.

would you take the job?

Stress kills. Think about that, you could be taking 10 years off your life

5 or 6 years of additional stress is a lot. You are at the stage in life when circumstances can change in an instant. Parents, you, partner etc. I wouldn't do it personally.

Personally I wouldn’t but presumably you applied for the job and went through a tough interview process to get it? If you did you must be keen on some level? Is it nerves that are holding you back now it’s been offered to you?

They pay you double to rob you off your soul and energy. There’s no guarantee you’ll get to early retirement age. I had a friend who was a partner in one of the magic circle law firms. Took early retirement but died from a heart attack in his first week. Don’t underestimate emotional and physical health.

I’d do it, so long as I knew where the exit was and that we’d be ok if I took it. My ego wouldn’t be able to resist to be honest! It might be worth sitting down with a coach/friend/trusted colleague to go through the gut feeling in detail and check it’s not any sort of imposter syndrome at play.
Would a chat with either of the former incumbents help? Get them to be brutally honest about what they struggled with and why? It may be that their struggles were specific to their ability/way of doing the job and you would do it differently

Never never never ignore the gut! I did this once for a job, looked good on paper, a step up in my career etc but it turned out to be one of the most miserable and soul destroying experiences of my life. I had that niggling, lurching stomach feeling and I ignored it. Big mistake! Something in me must have known it was not the right move - I'm not saying it was anything 'woo' but I must have carried some information at the sub conscious level that I wasn't allowing myself to accept as I was caught in the 'seduction' of the interview process and promises of career development etc.

I left that miserable job after a year and it took me another year or so to get my career back on track.

If I were you I'd have a good long think about where the gut anxiety is coming from /what it's about and whether you need to be honest with yourself about something that feels 'off'.

Like getting cold feet before a wedding, easier to get out now than go through a divorce later.

Sounds horrendous, I absolutely wouldn't do it.
I have health issues that can be caused by and are exacerbated by stress, no early retirement will improve that.
Your inability to relax about the very idea of it is your body telling you to leave well alone.

No. Life is now. You have no idea if you’ll still be here in 20 years time.

Imagine if you don’t take it, will you spend 10 years wondering what you could have made of the opportunity?

What happens if you take it, regret it and try to step back? Is that a possibility?

Congratulations too!

Honestly op I'd say don't do it. I just took a 'big job' a month ago at 47. I hate it. It's stressful, the people are the main problem, but also just never relaxing. Previous job was also highly paid by most people's standards but this one is more so. I'm literally waiting until January so I've been there 6 months and can look again. I have a very similar home setup to you with my DH.

I miss being mentally present and not tired even when I'm with the kids and you can't underestimate how awful it is to feel stressed about work constantly.

I also knew really it would be stressful but I don't think I could really imagine how it would feel.

If I could go back in time, I would in a heartbeat.

Personally I wouldn’t as I know I can’t deal well with job anxiety and I would be thoroughly miserable, work constantly/ ignore my family as a way of dealing with the work anxiety, etc. DH on the other hand, embraces these types of jobs, but he is able to cut off from anxiety in a way that I can’t. When I see posts about how big bosses get top pay and how unfair it is, I always think - not many people can do those jobs, or would want to. You don’t really get power, since you’re accountable to shareholders, owners, etc. It’s a load of responsibility, and it is lonely at the top. DH thinks he’s ok with it all, but he wears a mouth guard at night to prevent him from cracking and grinding his teeth while he sleeps.
Maybe you’re one of the few who can cope under that pressure? Only you will know, and if the ££ is worth the sacrifice.
I would get a great executive coach on board for the whole duration if you decide to go through with it - someone who has your back totally.

Yeah, I'd consider it. I'm looking at that sort of thing at the moment because DH's job situation is patchy at the moment, and oldest DC starts uni in a year, which will cost us a lot of money and if DH isn't sorted by then I may got for a management role at work. I don't really want that kind of role, but I would probably get it because they always need people. It's more stress and longer hours than I'd like, but if we need the money it'll be the quickest and surest way of getting it. I could always go back to what I'm doing now after the kids have finished uni/DH gets career back on rails - I have a few colleagues who have done so.

I know I’d be tempted to give it a go as otherwise I would always wonder what would have happened. But I would probably have in the back of my mind that I would leave if it got remotely too much for me. And would be saving not spending the extra money to that end.

This - I am curious did you apply for the role or was it offered to you based on your reputation and current role ?

If you do take the job, do it for your own reasons and not for the 'sisisterhood'. You're an individual with your own circumstances, you dont owe this to women or have to prove anything on our behalf.

I have a DH in a similarly niche, mentally challenging and stressful job with a goal to bare it now and retire early. In the mean time his job makes us both miserable. So if you are going to take it knowing its going to be awful, please consider how that might impact on those around you. Of course it's your right to do whatever you want, and as we women we are wrongly pressured into being nice. But honestly, think about whether you'll become unbearable to live with.

Absolutely not.

I have been chronically stressed for 5 years (not working related though), stress has ruined me physically and emotionally, not sure if I'll ever fully recover tbh. My stress is had to get away from but there is no way I'd actively walk in to a stressful life. No job money is worth that imo.

No. Especially as it sounds as if you have a good job and a nice and pretty affuent life already. You don't owe it to anyone (including to womankind) to go for this high-powered job. Don't underestimate the potential irreversible mental and physical effects that 5 years of stress could have on you.

Menopause might be a walk in the park for you, but prepare for it being the complete opposite...if you do take it, I'd say be VERY vigilant around your health and don't delay starting HRT or whatever is right for you. As a woman you might be better placed to deal with the role than your male predecessors were, but they won't have been dealing with the issues Menopause brings either.

It really really would depend for me on what the job actually is and how it would fit you. My role is one which is not considered desirable by the people with whom I get to work but it really suits me and I know I’m good at it. It’s actually my favourite thing to do.

how would this potential role suit you. Just because other people struggled with it doesn’t mean you too will struggle. Can you shape it to fit you well so you know you are making a good contribution? If you really do know in advance that it will be torture then I really wouldn’t take it.

having a job you enjoy and are seen to be good at is essential for a life well lived. Only you really know which it would be for you. Good luck in choosing.

I just watched my two colleagues lose their health and mental well being over a rôle that appeared tempting on paper. The reality was very different. No amount of money could compensate for being misérable at work over such a long time in my opinion.

What significance is the waiting 6 months out of interest? Why not 3 months, or 12 months?

Job market is slow for most industries so id get looking now...

I’m going to suggest secret option number three. You talk to the people who offered you the job about what you and they could put in place to ensure your success and protect you from burning out early with stress. I don’t know what that looks like for you or for this organisation but perhaps it might be recruiting a new team or a brilliant pa or number two or them investing in you by paying for a coach for the first year or letting you work condensed hours or part time in school holidays. I know this sounds mad but I’ve done something similar and stepped into a genuinely huge role and my superiors have absolutely invested in my success and walked the walk and talked the talk when things have been tough. I believe you can make this work but with a bit of good will on both sides.

It would defo be a no from me personally, especially if you enjoy your current role. That would be more Important to me, I would not risk burn out, health, my sanity. The way I look at it, I could be dead in 10 years and never get to reap the rewards, or so burnt out by retirement that the damage is irreversible. Not worth it in my books! But if you think your cut out for it and can take care of yourself go for it!

Stress is awful. It can wreak havoc with your mental health, which can directly affect your physical health. Health is the greatest, most precious thing in anyone’s life, don’t be reckless with it.
When you are stressed it can also have a ripple effect on the people around you as you might be less patient with them. The whole thing sounds like disaster in waiting.

Did you make your decision yet, OP?

Either way I hope I all works out for you.