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Do you ask for baby sitters or wait for an offer?

5 replies

MikeL1993 · 07/08/2025 20:19

My son is 14 months old and in that time me and my gf have had two date days and one night away where we had to ask our parents to babysit. My gf’s family are not interested at all so we don’t involve them but my parents act like they’re interested until we ask them to babysit. I’ve raised this issue with them before saying I feel like we’re a burden for asking, they say we’re not but then their actions say different.

A common example is a new cinema opened in our town a year ago and my parents keep saying we should try it out but then don’t offer to babysit for a few hours so we could go. The last time they did any form of baby sitting was November and since then we’ve not asked them to babysit because they don’t seem like they really want to and don’t offer. This is in complete contrast to my 6 year old nephew who they would babysit for at least once a month since he’s been about 6 months old. My parents are only in their late 50’s so it’s not like they can’t cope.

I’d like to know other people’s opinions on this and whether you feel you should just ask people to babysit or should you wait for an offer.

OP posts:
EvergreenAlwaysGreen · 07/08/2025 20:26

No one offers but if we ask then they will. Inlaws and my parents. Also my sister and brother in law . We're all really local to each other.
We rarely go on dates as we prefer a take away at home. But I could for example text inlaws now and ask to babysit the dcs tomorrow 9am so I can get some stuff done , work / cleaning/ shopping and they would say yes. They would then keep them until tea time feed them then bring them home.

Arlanymor · 07/08/2025 20:30

Comparison is the thief of joy. I wouldn’t compare what they do with other family members, it won’t get you anywhere, you will just end up feeling resentful and in fact it sounds like you already do.

I think you have to ask, you can’t wait for offers and only based off what they say can you determine how to feel about it and how things will work going forward. Obviously there is the option of paid babysitters… you might want to say to your parents that you and your GF want a date night at the cinema and would they like to babysit, otherwise you’ll pay for a sitter - and see what they say.

Lemonadeat8 · 07/08/2025 20:31

Mine are older so past the babysitting stage but I have babysat alot and I’ll be honest it’s too much for the person doing it.

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autienotnaughty · 07/08/2025 20:39

No one offers so we ask when we need it. I’d say they have offered and are waiting for you to ask for a specific date.

ARichtGoodDram · 07/08/2025 20:44

We ask. I can't stand when people hang around waiting on me to offer a favour - if you need something then ask

Or at least speak to them and ask them if they'd mind you asking or do they prefer you wait for them to offer.

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