How do you manage sex when you are permanently single

[Rowlinginthedeepanddeeper]

Not as in the physically manage 🤣 but the emotions - very much heading towards long term single dom I think but after my last thread do think its the sex thats bothering me. I tend to get attatched if I sleep with somone - how do you avoid that but still get physical fulfilled?

Do you mean how do have casual sex without getting emotionally attached? Or how do you manage emotionally without a relationship?

Casual sex without catching feelings and ending up in a relationship I dont really want due to oxytocin and societal expectations.

Its normal to develop an emotional attachment to someone you are having regular sex with. Some people may not, but most people do.

I don't think you can really train yourself out of this, and I think it would be unhealthy to try.

There isn't a wanted solution to every problem and this is one of those problems.

I don't.
Menopause removed my libido.

7 years and counting...

Are you referring to casual sex?

Agree with pp. I think some people can and others can’t maybe depending on attachment style etc. I don’t know if you can train yourself one way or the other.

I think you can. I can relate some stories but it would be outing.

Use other methods to relieve sexual tension. Don't cause yourself more feelings of loss and grief

Yeh I think its one of those wanting 6 inch heels to feel like Crocs scenarios

Agree.
I was ‘awakened’ 😂 by a lovely man after many years of drought and if we split (early days) I will be trying to manage that somehow.

Have you caught feelings and ended up in a relationship before when you didn't want to? @Rowlinginthedeepanddeeper

Yes - younger man - great sex, but zero chance of a healthy, longer-term relationship, as we are at totally different life stages.

It’s not worth it. Unless you’re an emotional automaton or the people you sleep with are annoying and dull, in which case.. it’s all a bit sad isn’t it.

numbing your natural feelings really isn’t mentally healthy.

I think you either can or you can’t, some people just can’t and im one of them hence not having sex in almost a decade.

I agree you can or your can't and there is no way of predicting when we will form a strong emotional attachment

I think women have been manipulated into believing that it is a choice and before we were conditioned to believing we form an emotional attachment - no surprise it benefits men more

I did a fair amount of no strings early days and although it can be fun, women are always on the back foot IMO. Be careful. These days would’ve go near it. Happily fulfilled in other ways.

If it was just the different life stages you were at, then is it not possible that you could find that in another man closer to your age op?

I thought these arrangements where a mutual thing. Seems to be a lot of comments about it being one sided.

Give it 5 mins and you'll be inundated with PMs offering no strings attached sex.......

May I ask how old you are? Meno utterly obliterated my libido despite previously having a high sex drive. So perhaps nature will solve the problem for you.

I'm not convinced there's a right or wrong, when it comes to sex and relationships. Theres a societal expectation that everyone needs to find their soul mate, well my own soul mates are my friends. And sex is sex. And I can keep them completely separate. But equally I know a lot of people cannot. All we can do is honest, do what makes us happy, and muddle through the best we can, without judging others for not being the same as us.

Same issue here. Met a man who I had amazing sex with, nothing has ever come close. He cheated on me and left, I’ve not been with anyone since but I miss it so very much. Far too traumatised to go near anyone else

Create a perfect fantasy man in your head and invest in a varied collection of sex toys.

You don’t want to end up with low self esteem just to have sex, it can cause all sorts of problems.

You don’t unfortunately. You’re either the type of person that can enjoy casual sex without emotions or you aren’t. I also fall into the can’t have sex without emotions category, I’ve never been able to have a friend with benefits or enjoy a one night stand.