How do I handle this?

[Greeeenel1]

DS is 3 and hes my first child. We have a younger daughter who's 1.

He recently has been so so rough with her? Pushing her hitting her throwing toys at her. But gives plenty of cuddles and kisses too wants to hold hands dance play together etc

But the hitting has increased. I did time out he just walks away. I tell him off dont shout just tell him off

But it doesn't seem to work? What can I do i feel like I blink and he hits her ?!!!

We've been there. It's really hard. You can't leave them alone, one must always be with you if you leave the room. When they are playing you need to be sat either between them to intercept him, or within arms reach if they are playing closer than that to try and grab his arm if he goes to hit. He'll still get some in, but the priority is to keep your baby as safe as possible. Remind him that if he's feeling comfortable and needs space or it the baby is touching a special toy and he wants it back he can say "no stop" and "mummy help". Short phrases. The baby won't listen, but that's your cue that he's struggling and to separate immediately and huge praise for asking for help.

Thanks :( its relentless. I just want it to stop because he loves her i know he does but its suddenly turned into we can't even turn out heads atm

Thanks for the tips

It took about nine months for me to reach the point where I could relax my guard, so be prepared for it to be the new norm for a while as otherwise you'll find yourself more pissed off than is fair for a developmentally normal stage as you'll want to protect your youngest. When babies go from blobs to little people who move quickly, encroach on personal space and grab toys older siblings feel very threatened. Even if they also love them.

As above you just can't turn your back, get a sling so the baby can be on your back while you get on with both hands free, it's brutal but it won't last, you've just got to take the practical steps you can to keep them safe, like you did when DC1 was a baby with plug sockets, stairs, putting tiny things in mouth, etc and ride it out.

We went through this. If it started I would stand up silently, pick baby up and leave the room, shutting the door gently behind me. If toddler followed I would calmly explain that mummy can't allow you to hurt the baby so we will move to another room if you do it again. After a few times of doing this, it gradually got less. Might be worth a try!

At that age, physical distance is the best way - so in his room for five mins with the stair gate on (as long as he cannot jump over it)

Otherwise you just have to basically be a bouncer and intervene 😂

Thanks all glad to know its normal! Unfortunately but normal

Also he's in preschool 3 days a week so frequently I get told like so and so pushed him so and so hit him xyz

I feel like he sometimes thinks his little sister is just like the preschool kids if that makes sense? Loses sight of how young she is