Does this sound like ADHD?

[user16381946]

DS is 10 and has always been as below, it’s nothing new:

Reasons I think yes, it’s ADHD:

• he cannot sit still eg during meals or board games. Infuriating! Manages to sit still for hours when gaming though. Without fail he will get up mid meal and just walk away, I don’t think he even realises until he’s in another room.
• he usually is making some form of noise
• he just laughs when getting told off
• he is very bright, achieving really well in school and they have no concerns. He is SUCH a nice boy and it feels like he can just choose to be horrible. His brother just said ‘why can he control it around his friends then?’
• he is always chewing - clothes, toys, always searching for food etc
• he will agree something eg ‘let’s both try and be nicer to each other’ and then an hour later he is kicking his brother viciously and making him cry. Then laughing that he’s being told off.
• he has never really played with toys. He’s only ever been interested in games - sports, board games etc, video games.
• he’s incapable of chilling out. I was observing him and his best friend at the park yesterday - friend just wanted to have a break from football and just sat on the climbing frame watching the world go by, DS tried and after 5 seconds was off running around again. I want his mind to rest sometimes!
• always had trouble falling asleep, even now (this is me as well. I see a lot of me in him! And I always thought - I don’t have ADHD, these are just human traits. So why am I thinking it’s ADHD in DS??)
• He also really struggles with transitions - he’s pretty good at getting out of the house (eg we are never late for school) but when he comes in he usually has a really negative mood change and has to have something to eat (I am very much like this too).

Reasons I think no:

• no one else is concerned
• he does well in school so not sure he has an attention deficit?
• he isn’t bouncing off the walls madly so not sure he has a hyperactivity issue - although the constant moving and fidgeting…?

He is a real sweetheart and I think he’s struggling with whatever is going on. It’s like he can’t control his impulses. But he can when he’s not at home??

Whether he is ND or not, the way he behaves towards his brother, and makes his brother feel is very concerning and needs to be dealt with. If you are concerned, then perhaps a talk with his GP will lead to a referral for assessment. It’s impossible for mumsnetters to say if it could be ADHD or not I’m afraid.

Not really, there are loads of threads that have helped MNers decide whether it’s worth investigating ADHD or not.

I’m obviously well aware that hurting his brother is not acceptable - clearly it’s a problem that needs further help, hence the thread! <head:desk> also, as with vast majority of MN conundrums (you know, you’ve been here ages), I’ve presented a snapshot in order to be concise, and as I’ve said, hes nice for a massive proportion of his life, including toward his brother.

Thanks for bumping the thread though!

he isn’t bouncing off the walls madly so not sure he has a hyperactivity issue

ADHD is so often a busy/hyperactive mind than a hyperactive body.

It does sound quite possible it's ADHD. My DD has combined type.

She is similar to all you describe but also very explosive at tiny triggers.

They can by hyperactive in their mind, not necessarily in their body, or they can have inattentive type without hyperactivity. But in your description you do mention a few things that sound like hyperactivity! As well as hyper focus (on gaming). The being horrible to sibling is also v familiar - our DD equalises against her older sister with absolutely no reason (other than that she has felt a loss of autonomy in some way).

Our DD is also 'fine' in school - she masks almost everything we see at home. Doesn't mean it's not there, just that she doesn't want her friends to see the 'real' her (her words) or to get told off by teachers (very rejection-sensitive).

So it might be worth looking into. Good luck x

Obviously haven't met him but I would say possibly ASD or both ASD and ADHD from the information you've given. The difficulty with transitions, the chewing for sensory stimulation, difficulties in understanding when being told off etc. No expert but have a son with ASD & ADHD and a husband with ADHD. You could go to the GP with the list you have and ask for him to be assessed under Right to Choose. Waiting lists are often shorter, although they are increasing.

It’s interesting because my DD has classic ADHD, bouncing off walls and is a girl so was diagnosed very early for a girl. The mind-business is often girls and diagnosed later.

OP maybe your DS has some AuDHD or inattentive type or something that is later to diagnosis.

Both DD and I (also ADHD) do/did well at school. The short bursts of hyperfocus plus a pretty high IQ mean we come in solidly middle. If either of us could focus properly…

Also, does he do art or music. DD either hyper focused (gaming/TV) or didn’t focus (reading) until she started music. She appropriately focuses on that. It’s taught her brain how to do it.

Leaving seat in situations where remaining seated would be expected

Fidgeting or moving around when seated

Seems unable to play or occupy self quietly

Always "on the go" as though driven by a motor

These are the overlaps between your post and the official criteria. He would need to meet 2 other hyperactive/impulsive symptoms for a diagnosis to be considered, or six on the inattention side. They need to be occurring to a degree that it causes problems and/or it's excessive or noticeably different to other children his age. School might not necessarily pick up on it if he's bright enough to compensate for it. The reason you see similarities between you is that you're related! A lot of this stuff is genetic in nature, including whether or not it crosses the threshold into ADHD. Presuming you are a woman in your 30s or 40s, it's highly unlikely you would have been diagnosed with ADHD in your own childhood unless you were extremely, persistently, disruptively hyperactive (which does not usually happen unless the child has some kind of co-occurring diagnosis or a chaotic upbringing). So it would not be unlikely at all if you have ADHD yourself and this has never been questioned.

These are the other of the hyperactive/impulsive criteria, if you can see at least two which fit him, I would speak to your GP:

Runs about or climbs things when this is inappropriate (with his age, he might be growing out of this but mark if he did it when younger)

Difficulty waiting for things, e.g. waiting his turn

Blurts out answers to questions before the question has been completed

Interrupts/intrudes on others

Doesn't ever stop talking.

"Attention deficit" is a bit of a misleading name - an actual lack of attention is not in the criteria and it's not that people with ADHD have a deficit of attention, it's more like where their attention is directed is atypical, they are less in control of it, so something which is interesting will spark their attention and almost pull it in like a vortex they can't resist. Then in situations which are not so interesting, they are distracted by anything and everything. Bouncing off the walls is also a very small subset of ADHDers - probably those we're familiar with because, again, that's who was getting a diagnosis years ago when we were at school.

Excellent post by @BertieBotts