Stuck in a hole

[UniqueGoldNewt]

Hi, I just needed to offload and hopefully get some responses/advice
ive been in a hole for a little while now cant remember how long that’s how long it’s felt.
i feel so down and like life isnt worth living with the current state of the world and also my own problems. I cannot get a job and im trying so hard and applying for lots everyday but not getting anywhere yet im seeing everyone around me succeeding in every part of life and im stuck on my own running my own sh!tshow. Most the time I feel alone and like people prefer others to me and dont care- I was abused as a child sexually physically emotionally neglect every single aspect of abuse and it’s messed me up. I view myself as a waste of life and human flesh & im just living out each day til my end is here. On top of feeling very low tonight and withdrawing from everyone, I’ve seen and been told by others that my ex who dumped me in 2021 (4 YEARS AGO) is still making TikToks directed at me calling me a narcissist and bragging how he’s going clubbing and pulling women 🤢🤮 normally I’d laugh and pity him but it’s just peed me off- he hasn’t name dropped but he’s making TikTok’s aimed at me saying how I was controlling and a narcissist and other lies. (He cheated on me) & i was out about a week ago and he rang my phone and texted out the blue nice as pie asking how I was - was shocked!
I feel so so down and suicidal passively. I try my best but get nowhere so I just wanna give up

I was also sa as a child. Im also "behind in life" the way I look at it is we didn't start of on a level playing field to our peers my achievements are different to others because of this. So someone may see a promotion or engagement as an achievement. I see getting up and getting dressed as an achievement. Others around you where at a massive advantage from the start so its not a fair race. Give yourself a break a realise the strength you have to do the things you do after everything that has happened. As not everyone does get up and carry on. As for the tiktok shit see how pathetic he is that he needs you to stay relevant. Don't give him any new content and people will get bored. Delete the app and block him on everything. The good thing about an ex when you dont have children with them you can completely cut them out of your life and have a fresh start. You have got this you are stronger then you think.

@youalright thank you my love, wonderful advice here best I’ve had in a while. It’s so true- thats what boils my p!ss- people getting everything (mainly nasty bad people too) & we had a disadvantage - they wouldn’t last a week if they went through what we did
so sorry you went through it- you’re a very strong person and deserve a nice life xxx
thanks for replying it’s proper crap isnt it x

It is, its a constant battle and its exhausting. We spend half our life in therapy because of people who should of been in therapy. Everything that seems to come so easy to others just seems so much harder.

What jumped out at me, is that your Ex is still fixated on you, 4 years after you split up. This makes me think that he actually misses you and isn't over the break up. In turn, I would imagine that means that you're a pretty awesome human being. I mean, it took me less than 4 years to get over my ExH of 20 years!! I bet that's why he's called you too.

I would also question the motives of the people who are telling you about these Tik-Tok videos. I mean, why upset you? Maybe it's not even true? And if it IS true, then how utterly cringe worthy of him. He's behaving like a teenager.

@its5oclocksomewheresurely thanks thats what I thought too- hes pathetic. I saw the TikTok’s for myself tonight and it’s cringe worthy and pathetic