Bored kids - how to help?

[Ryeman]

Summer hols - boys aged 9 and 13. The younger one gets bored so easily if he's not looking at a screen which we try to limit somewhat. Older one better at amusing himself with Lego or similar, but younger one has less imagination and needs constant stimulation! DH and I are both WFH the majority of the time (odd days off here and there to do stuff as a family) and DS2 has a list of 'tasks' to complete each day like reading and 11+ practice, but this takes minutes and then he's back to being bored and moaning again. Help!

So you're mostly both working and the boys are left to their own devices?
Can he see friends? Go to holiday clubs?

No wonder they are bored of you’ve got them doing reading practice.

Are you not doing our? Where’s their friends?

Have you got anything planned for the next month?

Let them have some friends round, or visit those friends? Are they able to go to a park?

I'd be sending the younger one to holiday clubs if he was bored all the time. Sitting at home all day every day is bound to be boring for a primary school aged child.

What would happen if you both were not WFH?

So the Children just stay home whilst you and DH WFH everyday!?
Its no surprise they’re bored.. get them into Holiday clubs - even just for half the week!

DD is 11, I’ve booked her in for holiday club at the Outdoor Pursuts centre for a couple of weeks, we went on holiday as a family for the first week, I’ve helped arrange some structured outings with friends which I facilitate on weekends and have made sure she has some activities to do at home. For the rest of the holidays DH and I are WFH and she has chosen not to go to holiday club which we did offer, so she knows she has to entertain herself.

Back during Covid I implemented the ‘Bored board’ and I drag it out whenever needed year on year.

i sat with DD and wrote a list of stuff she likes to do, we got down as many ideas as we could come up with

• Bake something
• play out with friends
• crafts
• lego
• re-organise makeup
• watch a film with popcorn
• ………….

Now when she whines that she’s bored, I point at the board and ask her if she has considered any of those options. If none of them are good enough then she needs to put some thought in to what she does want to do instead. I make it clear that I am willing and able to book in more holiday club if she would prefer to go there rather than stay at home, but if she wants to stay home then she needs to understand that we’re working and can’t take extended breaks all the time.

Ok, I get it. I am a bit guilty of lazy parenting! At this age I'm sure we just spent hours playing in the woods. He refuses most kids clubs apart from the occasional day at a sports one. They went out on a long bike ride together this morning, but as soon as he gets back he's moaning again. We do interact with them throughout the day. Have lunch together, go out for a walk etc. It's just the in between times. We have a week away planned later this month.

I feel really bad for your 9 year old. It's just not ok to leave him to amuse himself for weeks on end while you WFH.

My kids don't always feel like going to holiday clubs but we don't suggest it's a choice, mummy and daddy are working today so you need to be in holiday club

At this age I'm sure we just spent hours playing in the woods. This is simply not considered acceptable in 2025, parents are expected to engage with and supervise young children.

He refuses most kids clubs apart from the occasional day at a sports one. Why is the child making the parenting decisions?

The younger child needs to go to holiday clubs.

earn something fun? Any instrument he wants to play? Digital dj decks?
digital art?
juggling
Rubik’s cube
magic tricks
hulahoop

Could they have friends over?

If you are really determined to cheap out on childcare - I think you need to actively facilitate more things for the kid than this.

Like drop them off at the cinema/skateboard park/library/friend's house/art club/tennis lesson/whatever suits his interests.

My 9 year old is like this, that's why she is at holiday club. She gets to choose which club, but she has to do one. 13 year old can choose whether to go to one (there's a few that cover his age) or not but if he doesn't has to amuse himself and do at least one activity that doesn't involve screens.