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Single and first time homeowner - feeling overwhelmed

25 replies

cleanorrecover · 03/08/2025 22:24

I am a couple of months into first time home ownership and it feels overwhelming. I am single and live alone. I have rented in the past but I wasn't prepared for the level of responsibility that comes with owning a home.

The long list of normal household chores (washing floors, hoovering, cleaning kitchen and bathrooms, laundry), the longer list of things that need sorted with the house (need a plumber to look at the bathroom, carpets still need cleaned, someone to put up TV aerial, kitchen cupboards need fixed, boxes need unpacked and put away...) and full time work in a relatively stressful job has left me feeling like I never have a moment to just stop because something always needs done. I've been doing overtime at work too to help fund all these initial outlays. I also have a dog who sheds a lot so I feel I'm never done hoovering. I have a garden for the first time so trying to keep on top of weeds and grass cutting is constant. My lawnmower has broken already so I am having to resort to a strimmer at the minute.

I'm often up to 1am doing jobs and then have work the next morning. I'm skint too. It just feels like a lot to manage on my own and to keep on top of it all. I've been living off reduced yellow sticker ready meals because cooking feels too much just now. Does it ever feel more manageable? I have barely been out with friends because I have no money and no time it seems. I'm so tired

OP posts:
Anchorage56 · 03/08/2025 22:41

I take it the house needed a lot of work rather than being move in condition? Just get help when you can afford it, obviously you need a plumber but even just handy men to do smaller jobs.

Oasisagiger · 03/08/2025 22:46

Sounds like some sort of home owner stealth brag.

Pros and cons to each but I suspect most people would swap in an instant the way the current climate is.

Theuntamed · 03/08/2025 22:48

Oasisagiger · 03/08/2025 22:46

Sounds like some sort of home owner stealth brag.

Pros and cons to each but I suspect most people would swap in an instant the way the current climate is.

That feels like a really mean way of viewing it.

I think it’s normal to feel a bit overwhelmed at the beginning but gradually things will settle as you get on top of jobs one at a time. Congratulations on your home!

echt · 03/08/2025 22:48

Oasisagiger · 03/08/2025 22:46

Sounds like some sort of home owner stealth brag.

Pros and cons to each but I suspect most people would swap in an instant the way the current climate is.

Oh do give over.

Oasisagiger · 03/08/2025 22:52

Theuntamed · 03/08/2025 22:48

That feels like a really mean way of viewing it.

I think it’s normal to feel a bit overwhelmed at the beginning but gradually things will settle as you get on top of jobs one at a time. Congratulations on your home!

I think it’s really mean to moan about something that many people would break their back to be in. Especially in this day and age where it’s so difficult to afford your own home. People can’t even afford to rent!

Read the room I would say and be thankful you’re in a position that people would gladly swap. After all, having a roof over your head shouldn’t be that hard but sadly it is for so many so excuse me for pointing that out.

Oasisagiger · 03/08/2025 22:54

echt · 03/08/2025 22:48

Oh do give over.

No. People can’t even afford to rent!

DisplayPurposesOnly · 03/08/2025 23:05

Ignore Little Miss Misery there.

Yes it is hard work owning a home and, being single, all that responsibility falls to you. I am also single and a home owner. I have been known to get decision fatigue!

All the chores were there before, that's just life unfortunately.

In terms of DIY, make a priority list and work your way through. Not everything has to be done at once. If it's functioning it can wait, even if it's not pretty. Makeover programmes have set unrealistic expectations - for most people, homes are styled over time. I had cheap furniture from Argos etc to make do until I was ready/afford to buy things I actually liked. It was about five years before I could afford any bigger projects, I could only afford essential fixes before then.

And congratulations because as Little Miss Misery kind of says, buying a house is a huge achievement.

4forksache · 03/08/2025 23:16

You have loads of admin and jobs when you first move in. It will settle down and become a bit easier soon.

Are you only allowed to post now if there is no one worse off than you?
Problems are relative!

PluckyChancer · 03/08/2025 23:17

Congratulations on your new home.

As the previous poster says, it’s normal to take time to get your first house sorted (years!), so try not to put yourself under unnecessary pressure.

Write yourself a list of jobs that need doing then prioritise them according to what you can afford and what will make living there more comfortable for you.

4forksache · 03/08/2025 23:19

Oasisagiger

Stealth boast much with your user name? Don’t judge everyone by your own standards!

Oasisagiger · 03/08/2025 23:24

4forksache · 03/08/2025 23:19

Oasisagiger

Stealth boast much with your user name? Don’t judge everyone by your own standards!

That doesn’t even make sense.

At the end of the day, life is tough for so many people and sometimes that reality check is needed to bring perspective.

HonoriaBulstrode · 03/08/2025 23:27

Don't let the housework or the unpacking get on top of you. If you live alone, who else is going to notice or care that you haven't dusted for a while? Just make sure the kitchen and bathroom are hygienic and do the rest as and when. Aim to give one room a thorough clean each week, maybe.

Same for the unpacking. As long as the boxes aren't taking up all your floorspace, it doesn't matter if you don't get everything unpacked and put away immediately. Maybe aim to do one box a week, or save the job for the winter when you won't be doing much in the garden.

Enjoy your new home!

snowlaser · 03/08/2025 23:38

There’s always a lot to do at first getting a house in order - but prioritise: not every broken thing needs to be replaced on day 1…our house has two showers but the en-suite one is broken , and 6 months in we’ve not even attempts to get someone to fix it. We just all share the main one! And the lawn - well again we didn’t mow it for the first 3 months because we were too busy. It’s your home, so you get to decide what you want to do and when: no one else is judging weeds or dog hairs or broken cupboards or unpacked boxes. Only you are judging yourself - and being much to harsh.

Mandarinaduck · 03/08/2025 23:42

I can relate, it can feel never ending.

It will never 'all' be done so as you go along make sure you make time for relaxing, seeing friends etc. (put it on the calendar; make a date with yourself etc.).

Congratulations on your new home :)

IMissSparkling · 03/08/2025 23:46

I'm you two years on and honestly, it's still overwhelming. There is always something needing done. But I really love the house even though it's not perfect yet and won't be for a long time (if ever!). You just have to tackle one thing at a time and give yourself time to relax and have fun too. Who cares if the grass gets a bit long?! You have all the time in the world to sort out the house and garden.

Oh and I still have boxes needing unpacked!

MoreThanOverwhelmed · 03/08/2025 23:59

I've lived in this house for almost 10 years & still haven't done some of the "urgent" jobs that needed doing shortly after moving in. Life happens & it'll all get there in the end.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 04/08/2025 00:12

I agree it's so hard op. Imaging having a toddler too 🤦🏼‍♀️

Theuntamed · 04/08/2025 07:36

Oasisagiger · 03/08/2025 22:52

I think it’s really mean to moan about something that many people would break their back to be in. Especially in this day and age where it’s so difficult to afford your own home. People can’t even afford to rent!

Read the room I would say and be thankful you’re in a position that people would gladly swap. After all, having a roof over your head shouldn’t be that hard but sadly it is for so many so excuse me for pointing that out.

It’s not about you though is it? It’s about the person asking the question.

WellIquitelikesprouts · 04/08/2025 08:47

I remember that stage. I was quite young and constantly ringing my mum to ask about maintenance issues and how to find workmen. It will get better honestly, you’ll get used to the new stuff and the initial hiccups with the house will be sorted.

CrotchetyQuaver · 04/08/2025 09:16

I think the first year is always quite tricky mentally and financially as you adjust to home ownership. A box a day is quite a good way of tackling the last of the unpacking. A list of repairs/renovations and then prioritise them in order of urgency and what you can do yourself with the help of YouTube videos and what you need to buy in help for, what you need to save up for etc etc. you've just got to keep chipping away at the list! Most people's homes aren't like the photos/reels on SM. Don't be embarrassed to buy secondhand from marketplace for a replacement lawnmower for example.

RimTimTagiDim · 04/08/2025 09:19

The only part of that that's relevant to owning is needing to arrange your own plumber and get the cupboards fixed, and the latter isn't urgent. You'd still have to unpack, clean, and garden in a rental property.

BuddhaAtSea · 04/08/2025 09:35

Gas, electrics and water first. You don’t want to be dealing with all that in the winter. So stuff like plumbing, toilets, boiler, lightbulbs, working oven, radiators etc.

Then your bedroom. You want to go to sleep at night in a decluttered, clean room.
Then the kitchen. Start with a nice new mug and work your way through.

Then the bathroom. Make a list with what’s needed: a lick of paint, new toilet seat, a bath plug, whatever you need.

Then the living room. Lick of paint, comfy armchair and a good reading lamp if nothing else.

Then the spare room if you have one.

It’s best to tackle the garden in the winter anyway, that’s the time to clear out, dig, repair, make a plan. The main thing for me would be a clear patio and some furniture.

I’d have been in my place for 10 years by next year. I set this whole next year to focus on the house.

My bedroom needs a lick of paint, a new bed and mattress, needs the woodwork painting too. I looked to see what I want and signed for emails, when the sales are right, I’m putting an order in. Once the order is in, I have the tins of paint waiting in the shed, I’ll start redecorating. I don’t have curtains or carpets, just a foot rug, they need changing too. This is booked in my diary for January.

February is for the spare room, I need a sofa bed, an armchair and a desk. Need to paint the woodwork, change the lights etc.

And so one for all the rooms.
HTH

sandgrown · 04/08/2025 09:42

nearly 5 years in and I still need jobs doing and have unpacked boxes ! . Any family members /friends who can help? Just do the important/ emergency stuff . The fancy bits can come later . Relax a bit and enjoy your home x

Glitterb · 04/08/2025 09:43

For house work you can download a guide / checklist to help you keep on top of it. Usually little and often rather than having to become overwhelmed on a weekend, don’t fall into the trap of ‘weekend resets’ that influencers do weekly.

Make a list of what needs doing - plumbing etc and ask for recommendations on a local facebook group. Once you have some quotes you can plan what needs to be done first, some tradespeople will do extra cash in hand weekend work.

Could you batch cook meals and freeze them? Often this can work out cheaper in the long run and takes the stress out of cooking during the week after work.

You will honestly be fine, you just need to work out a plan that works for you!

childofthe607080s · 04/08/2025 09:47

Do you need to sit back and look at what you have achieved ? Take a deep breath and reflect how well you have done?

make a prioritised list and just do one at a time - it’s not a failure to have boxes to be unpacked. Agree with PP about plumber

focus on one room as your haven - get that sorted and the rest can wait

snd buy fruit and crudite veg to improve your diet for no extra effort and that will make you feel better too

think about reclassifying weeds as wild flowers - only pull the prickly ones. You don’t need to cut grass ultra short

erit to add - don’t stay up doing jobs, get some sleep. As long as the house doesn’t fall down anything can wait

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